Relevant PLUS

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Relevant PLUS

Get the result you value most PLUS

use the best way for you to get it!

 

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Which of these four priorities is most important to you today:

health, wealth, time, or influence?

How clear are you on what you value most?

Occasionally, people may get unclear about what is the next goal that is most relevant to them. What measurable result would most attract you to effectively producing that result?

We can help you to quickly tune in to the reliable signals for what motivates you and inspires you to action. (After that, then we can also help you measure which actions are most effective, which is the second topic on the right).

 How clear are you on the best way to get what you value most?

Naturally, the methods that fit for you will change over time. First, as you fulfill old goals, the new goals that you target will change. Second, new methods are constantly being developed that may be MUCH better than what you have already been using quite effectively.

Occasionally, it may be worth a little time to notice whether your results are keeping up with the results of those who are using the latest methods, right? We will help you prioritize. Once you are organizing your time around what motivates you most, then naturally you will discover which methods fit best for you.

How will we help you be clear on your true priorities?

Maybe you are already quite effective at prioritizing your target outcomes. Even so, how could it be beneficial to be even more perceptive about what you value most (like as you accomplish one goal and then a new outcome or issue becomes the priority)? For instance, how could greater perceptiveness sharply improve how you manage your time?

Soon, we could explore the issue of which specific, objective indicators or signals can be used to clarify what you value most. Which signals are the most reliable? Further, how can we best monitor those signals?


We could even explore the issue of why so many people have so much confusion about what they value most (and of course about how to know… because if they knew HOW to identify what they value most , then there would be no issue with identifying what it is… even as it changes). How often have you noticed that sometimes you invest many hours (or even years) in producing a certain outcome, but then you find that there is no lasting fulfillment for you from that outcome?
You may be surprised by how common that experience is (surprised because it is typical for people to socially censor their greatest disappointments and most naive investments of time and money).

Some people have a very well-calibrated connection between hope and eventual delight or even pride. For the most part, we call them “small children.” However, after a several years of modern living, most of us start to focus quite a bit on what other people have influenced us to expect to be satisfying. In many cases, our programmed expectations do not match with our eventual experience. If that cycle (of misplaced enthusiasm and then disappointment) reaches a certain extreme in someone’s life, then they naturally would experience a sense of confusion, then betrayal, then cynicism, then despair or depression.

What happened to their innate calibration between their desires and their perception of what will be rewarding or fulfilling? How was their inspiration crippled?

The typical sequence can be addressed later. For now, just be aware that the innate correlation between desire and fulfillment can be rediscovered, cultivated, and unleashed. How do I know? I know because I have experienced it myself and witnessed it in many others.


Yes, there are many people currently operating from major conflicts. They may say that their “only desire is to be free of all desire.” That is exactly what anyone deep in despair would say, right? They are actually bothered by their own sense of discontent (and even by occasional faint glimmers of hope). Their resignation has permeated all areas of life to the point of cynicism.

Perhaps they compete socially to be validated as the person who is the least competitive (the most disgusted by competitiveness). Or perhaps they compete to be socially validated as the one least interested in being validated.

Their irony is sincere and even distressed. Their way of relating to the irony does not make people relax and laugh at their familiar tensions (and the habits that go with those tensions).

Instead, their irony is hypocritical. They are embarrassed about it. They are distressed about it, ashamed, anxious, paranoid, hysterical, and ultimately expecting catastrophe if the simplicity of their hypocrisy is mentioned socially in most any context except when they are in the audience listening to a comedian.

They take their own irony very personally. They make it in to hypocrisy instead of just recognizing the simple irony of it. Their method of resistance is a very famous coping mechanism for stress: denial.

Denial can take many forms. Do not talk about it at all. Talk about it, but only with an arrogant tone of frustration, condemnation, disdain, contempt, or disgust. Or, talk about it, but only with a false sense of comfort about it.

But what if denial is not just about how we talk? What if the ultimate measure of denial (or respect) is neglect (or action)?

Next, how is it that a comedian can have fun with common human ironies without shame or denial? How can they be so relaxed and compassionate about a statement that would not result in laughter if “just anyone” said it?

Clearly, it is not just that the comedian is standing up on a stage. Hundreds of people could go up on that same stage and say the exact same words without the compassionate teasing of a talented comedian, right?

They have a well developed sense of humor. They are relaxed about the irony in a way that most people are not.

The irony is just ironic. It is not the issue here. The issue is how relaxed or how physically tense someone is in relation to… a few words.

Can you go from being bothered by an issue to being relaxed about it? Of course, although even better than relieving anxiety about the issue can be resolving the issue entirely.

Oddly enough, some people are so hysterical about fear that they relate to all forms of fear as if they are all some kind of mistake. There is so much shame or fear about fear that they focus more on relieving their so-called shameful fears than on resolving those fears. In other words, they are hysterical.

Which would be better: to not be afraid if your house has caught on fire… or to be afraid and then put out the fire? Which would be better: to have a functioning smoke alarm to quickly detect a fire… or to learn about the fire much later? Which would be better: to take simple, easy precautions that will prevent most fires… or to have a really good home insurance policy in case there is a fire which you and your family survive?

There is probably nothing that amuses me more than what I call anti-hysteria hysteria. It is almost the same as anti-denial denial. Why react hysterically to the fact that hysteria exists?

What does a hysterical reaction display socially? It is a signal of distress, with the person displaying the hysteria signaling that they are ashamed and in denial and they apparently want EVERYONE who is around to know.

When an infant throws a tantrum, that is a call for attention and assistance, right? When an adult displays anti-hysteria hysteria, perhaps that has a very similar purpose, right?

It is normal to experience occasional stress. If you do not stress the things in life that are most relevant for you (focusing on those as a priority), then you will experience the signal of distress.

However, the nature of distress is that it can be very beneficial to have someone else assist you in relieving or even resolving the distress and the underlying circumstances that have been triggering the distress. They can provide a calm, relaxed perspective. Beyond offering neutral curiosity and unbiased logic, they may have familiarity with the issues and even first-hand expertise on what responses may be most relevant.


So, most people can greatly benefit from help from other perceptive, skilled observers. In some cases, the issue is as simple as moving a couch up or down a stairway: it can be much easier for two or more people to collaborate. In other cases, it is more like trying to get a smudge off of your face without a mirror: you cannot look directly at your own face to even see if there is a smudge.

Perceptive experts can help you to identify what causes you any intense form of motivation (from distress to delight). With calm alertness, curiosity, and even insight, you can experience sudden breakthroughs in clarity as well as re-calibrate your own habits of managing time so that you maintain clarity about what you value most, even as you accomplish each of the goals which inspire you to pursue and fulfill.


Is lack of enthusiasm a personal issue? Usually, the issue is not that a person lacks enthusiasm in general, but only in particular for a certain goal. Focus on the right goal, and then enthusiasm naturally flows.

However, focus hysterically on the socially-approved goal, and then getting started can be… very slow. Any momentum quickly dissipates. People make excuses instead of making progress. Resistance and various kinds of sabotage can develop (even unconscious forms of self-sabotage).

Can people be influenced to pursue goals that are not innately attractive to them? Of course!
One of the most fulfilling ways to pursue a goal that is not inherently appealing is to invent a bigger goal (that is more magnetic) and to use that new context to give new motivation to the prior pursuit.

How many two year olds will not clean their room just for it to be clean, but will eagerly clean it to please Santa Claus? If the primary goal is magnetic enough, then the methods that are simplest for producing that goal are relatively trivial, but suddenly have temporary importance as a practical means to an inspiring end.

Of course the child is still not really interested in how clean the room is! In fact, the more that they are thinking about Santa, the less attentive they will be to the state of their room. However, if they sincerely believe that Santa knows whether or not they shoved the toys under the bed or stacked them carefully on a shelf, then they will reliably use the socially-approved actions if the bait or bribe is powerful enough. They will only cut corners when they expect that to be the most beneficial approach.

So, not only will we help you get fast relief for any confusion about what measurable outcome to identify for organizing your immediate future, and not only will we help you stay calibrated with your own deepest, innate motivations and inspirations, but, if relevant, we will even help you to influence others so that you can calibrate their perceptions and actions to your priority outcomes.

Influencing others is not a mystery. It is happening all the time, whether or not we are attentive to it (or ashamed of it). When we are perceptive to other people’s motivations and values (as well as our own), then we can quickly assess whether or not to invest time in to interacting with them, plus exactly how to proceed effectively.

 Who should you trust for helping you prioritize your methods?

The two main factors for trust are competence and motivations. Which is the most important of those two?

Many people over-emphasize the issue of competence (because they have so little skill at identifying the motivations of other people). Why is motivation more important than competence? There are two basic reasons.

First, if someone is highly motivated, then they can develop competence, right? Second, if someone is competent but unmotivated to personally help you, then you need to either find a way to powerfully motivate them (like by paying them or offering them a share of profits) or else expect them to withdraw or resist.

Eventually, the issue of motivation may be very simple for you. You may develop a very precise awareness of your own signals of motivation as well as alertness to the same signals manifesting for other people. You will be able to reliably intuit or read or deduce their motivations.

Over time, you will calibrate your ability to properly interpret signals of motivation, even of total strangers. Also, if you interact with the same person enough, you can get very good at recognizing their various motivational states or responses. You can see it on their face or hear it in their voice. Or, at least you can recognize correlations that you can then test to verify.


The more confident you are about accurately perceiving someone else’s motivations, then the more confident you will be about trusting them. Trust is always about you, not them. The more experience you have with other people, the more likely you are to trust your perceptions about them.


What about distrust?

There may be occasions in which you have some specific reason to be skeptical about an individual or a group. Maybe you are aware of possible negligence or naivete on their part (or worse).

However, in addition to cases of possible negligence or intentional betrayal, you may simply perceive someone or some group to be so unfamiliar to you that you are not well calibrated with quickly and accurately identifying their motivations. Is that prejudice?
In a way, it is… and here is why it develops.

If you had the choice of hiring one of 3 people and the first was not at all fluent in your language, the second was very fluent, and the third one was somewhat fluent but had a very strange accent and used a lot of slang that was unfamiliar to you, then wouldn’t your ability to communicate with them be a factor in which one you would hire? It is not really discriminating against the others to discriminate in favor of the one with whom communication is easiest for you. That is just discriminating in favor of what works for you!

Also, if you are not confident in your ability to elicit someone’s motivations or to accurately perceive their spontaneous displays of motivation, that is not a reason to distrust them. That is just the absence of trust, not the presence of special caution or alarm.

Over time, you can assess other people’s motivations to either be consistent with yours or in conflict or competition. Further, you can assess their changing competencies. If two people both lack a relevant competency, then the obvious solution is to find someone else with that competency or else for at least of the two people to develop that ability.


Trust compatible motivations and clear competence

So, the better you are at monitoring fluctuations in your own motivations and the motivations of others, then the more precise you will be about assessing who has the relevant skills for your situation and priorities. Why will you be precise? Because you are motivated to be effective and precision contributes to being effective.

For simplicity, imagine that ten people are available to potentially help you. You select 3 that you are confident have motivations that are compatible with your own. Maybe some of
the others do too, but in this example, you are confident about your perceptions that 3 of them have motivations that are very consistent with yours.

So, then the remaining issue is to sort the 3 of them for how well they fit you now. You are not just sorting them as individuals in general, but in relation to the specific methods they offer (for producing the target outcome that is powerfully motivating you).

Or, maybe they are all presenting contrasting opportunities that trigger different motivations in you. If so, then the more you trust their methods, the more motivated you may be about the outcomes they are pitching.

Let’s presume that they are all offering to help you produce the exact same outcome and you just need to sort between the 3 of them (presuming that you want to have only one collaborator rather than a trio or a larger team).
Once we are past the issue of their motivations, then the next issue is your competence in their various levels of competence.

Reliable ways to assess contrasting levels of competence

If you do not know how to just instantly assess a particular kind of competence, then the next possibility is that they will tell you or even show you. Who admits ignorance, who is calmly confident, and who is anxiously claiming confidence, but is avoiding the issue of demonstrating it?

Of the 3, one does not claim to have any relevant expertise and the other two do claim relevant expertise. So far, those who claim to have expertise might seem like the obvious ones to focus on first, right?

Next, since their claims may be quite sincere without being accurate, the next issue is this: can they quickly demonstrate to you actual competence regarding your specific situation? Can they clearly and simply explain how their displayed competence is relevant? How convincing is the presentation? Beyond how much you may like them personally, how well have they demonstrated relevant competence?

Also, how good of a fit are they for you? Beyond establishing their competence (and their motivations), there are other factors, like timing and costs / payment plans. Further, it can be helpful if you like them personally… although perhaps a complication in some cases.


Sorting for compatible motivations and overall fitness

The issue is still just sorting through 2 or 3 alternatives. Ultimately, easy sorting requires identifying a relevant distinction or contrast. Who stands out (and is it in a favorable way or an unfavorable way)?

If the obvious answer is not yet clear to you, then you might bring in neutral parties to offer comments (or even an expert to measure competencies etc for you). You can even begin experimenting with multiple options to simply learn from experience which ones seem most promising. You might even start to look for potential complications or weaknesses.

If there are no major contrasts in perceived motivations and fitness, then a final option is to look for reasons to downgrade one or more alternatives. This is a “process of elimination” and does not guarantee that the remaining choice is a good one (or better than the others). However sometimes the relevant method for picking one option to explore is a matter of simply discarding all the other options one by one.

Again, in many cases, exploring one option does not exclude the potential to explore another later. When no distinguishing contrasts have already been identified, you can proceed cautiously and attentively, watching for signals to slow down or speed up.

In fact, if your targeted result is very common, then perhaps competence is simply presumed. Any licensed plumber or pilot or doctor must have done whatever it took to get the license.

However, lots of service providers may be licensed! Licensure is a reasonable issue for excluding unlicensed candidates, but not for sorting between candidates with identical licenses, right?

Ultimately, even if you get assistance at selecting a particular option, the ideal development is that you will become very efficient at identifying your own changing motivations as well as the motivations of other people, then learn when to involve other people and how to select who to involve. Is assessing other people’s motivations a competence that you value? How about assessing other people’s competence and overall fitness for a particular opportunity?

When you are powerfully motivated, then you will develop your own competencies and partner with others that you deem to be the best fit for fulfilling your motivations. You will be interested in efficiently identifying people that are reliable experts (or at least skilled) in regard to how they manage their health, their wealth, their time, and their influence over others.

Why? Because you want to learn from their successes and their challenges. In exchange, you can contribute to them as they learn from your successes and challenges.

You are motivated to get the result you value most (PLUS to use the best way for you to get it). If you are open to input on what most powerfully motivates you and which methods fit best for you, contact us now.

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perceptiveness leads to effectiveness