Is it time yet to stop worshipping the past?

Worshipping to gold calf. Fresco from Dura Eur...

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Is it time yet to stop worshipping the past?
When I have been worshipping the past, I was focusing on certain qualities and details not only as true but special. What if, no longer worshipping the past, I allow now for the possibility that the past that I believed in and worshipped may have been true- like that is possible- but almost certainly that particular possible past is not as special now as it may have been then- if it ever was special at all (or even true)?

By the way, I’m not saying that worshipping the present is any different- given that by the time I might worship any possible detail or quality that may have just been present- well well well, wouldn’t you know it- that former possible present is instantly a possible past just as soon as I could recognize, identify with, relate to, label, and possibly worship it.

If I stopped worshipping the past, I may have just stopped worshipping altogether! Don’t all beliefs come from the past? Some detail is believed to have been true and special- and believed to still be- and yet that is just a possible past, isn;t it? So, if I stopped worshipping the past, I would have also stopped worshipping any belief that any possible detail or quality was distinctly true and special- like any more or less than any other.

I stop worshipping any filters of judging any possible past to be better or more important than any other possible past. To stop worshipping some of the past is to stop judging any of it- some as what I wish I could repeat or continue or increase- you know, because it seems so special and I seem so special with it. Any possible past that I would avoid or discontinue or reduce- that is also judging the past- judging against some of it and in favor of some of it, that is, the part of it that in some other past I may have been taught to worship.

English: Sun worshipping sheep below Moelypenmaen

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Hey, but maybe you would like to worship some particular portion of my possible past! There is that one possible past which I may have been believing is a cause of the one very special problem that I have been pretending to have. Worship it with me, won’t you? Oh right, I already stopped that….

Oh, how about that one very very special time when I was possibly worshipping that other possible past that might have happened before it? yeah, there was that time tat I- along with some very special people- might have been worshipping how good it possibly might have been some other time. That reminds me of this other time that I- again, alon with some different but also very special people- might have been woshipping how bad sme other past might have been- you know- if it hmight have been how we pretended that it should not have been at all That was so, so… memorable! Remember?

but what about that one possible past that was a highlight, a landmark, a breakthrough, the most special of all possible moments ever- well, probably so far, right? Don’t you remember that one time when I was really living in the momnet. Yeah, that was really special, huh? 

One thing I just noticed though about worshipping all the times that I may have been worshipping the past… is that worshipping something as if it were special kind of iomplies that everything else might not be. I mean- is it more special to worship some possible past that was special… or to reminisce about the later special times when I may have been worshipping some possible past as special. It just seems like an awful lot of math to keep track of all the different degrees of

English: A pharaoh worshipping three Egyptian ...

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Now, when I was much younger, I may have worshipped certain possible pasts that were distinct from the ones I may have worshipped recently. Was I wrong in my youth? Maybe when I get older I’ll be more clear about which pasts to worship and howI probably shoul have been doing it all along, but, until thn, it’s possible that I ight have been worshipping the past, but I see no reason now tomake a big deal out of whether I ever did or not! Sure, I may have worshipped the past once or twice: so what?
I might even do it in the future- it’s a free country, isn’t it? Well, at least it migh have been a free country last time I checked- presuming that I ever did.
So, some time ago,- I’m not exactly sure when- it seems like I heard someone say something like this: “one thing about the past is certain, though- that it’s over!” Well, maye i is, but maybe it’s not; I’ll figure I’ll just wait and see….
So, is it the past now? No? Well, I sure do hope it gets here soon… I’m starting to get very curious about it, aren’t you?
No? Why NOT! Well aren’t you just so special….
Finally, for those of us who may have been thinking that the past is who we are, consider that you may have no idea of who you are. However, it may be that who you are is not an idea, not what you may have been thinking, and not even what you may have been. Who you may be, though, may be who you are.
Pretend with me, just for this moment, that who you are could be who you have been pretending that you could not be, that you in fact should not be, and that you would not be (or woul dno be caugh being) no matter what! Without any refusing or self-rejection or shame, who are you now?
[I wrote this a few days ago- right before I started reading Esther Veltheim’s “Who Am I? The seeker’s guide to nowhere.” Finally, what we’ve all been waiting for: a guide to nowhere! That reminds me that a few days before that, someone asked me “where is your train going” to which I promptly and simply replied, “here!” Well, isn’t THAT special?]

************We do not have to sail in the direction of the wind, but if we ever sail off course, is it easier to change the direction of the wind or the direction of the sail?

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