humble yet bold

humble yet bold

Who craves the approval of everyone? Those are ashamed rather than humble.

The humble do not crave to secure everyone else’s approval. Nor do the humble presume to grant approval indiscriminately.

The ashamed crave everyone else’s approval and may even grant approval indiscriminately, for they hope for approval in return. The ashamed habitually act to compensate for their fear of experiencing their own shame.

Those already humble do not fear shame (nor disapproval, nor the absence of either approval or disapproval). Those who fear shame are already ashamed, but not yet humble.

At the end of shame is humility. Let shame follow it’s course. Those who would cover shame with pride may be vain in doing so.

Shame is merely the fear of fear itself. Let fear follow it’s course. Rejecting or fearing fear merely perpetuates fear and produces shame and, while the repression lasts temporarily, vanity.

The vain are so ashamed of their own fear that they may shame others for experiencing fear. The presence of fear threatens the ashamed, who may urgently tell others (and themselves): “Stop that now; you should not be so fucking negative!”

Vanity is the indicator of temporarily compensating for shame. Craving for the approval of everyone is vanity, and there is no end to it, for the moment after vanity is appeased at all, the devil is insecure again, fearing a possible loss of approval. The devil seeks to earn a way into a distant heaven. Shame compensates for living in hell.

The ashamed, not the humble, crave approval. The ashamed, not the humble, tend to blame anyone else to cover their own shame. The ashamed, not the humble, are argumentative and defensive.

Humility is the absence of shame. Let shame and fear follow their course.

Who fears rejection by anyone? Those are compromising rather than bold. If one fears rejection by anyone, one compromises, and that one rejects integrity and trustworthiness in the hope of avoiding rejection, that is, in fear. Temporarily avoiding rejection eventually attracts it.

The bold neither fear others rejecting them, nor fear rejecting others. The compromising fear others rejecting them and may even fear rejecting others.

Is it clear that one who is truly humble is already bold? However, those who make a public display of their boldness, who seek others to recognize them as bold, to agree with them, are simply insecure. Poor devils, bless their hearts!

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5 Responses to “humble yet bold”

  1. Cynthia Says:
    November 15, 2009 at 10:05 am | Reply

    Being a naturally discerning, verging on judgemental person, I have never sought approval of anyone indiscriminately. Never!

  2. Cynthia Says:
    November 15, 2009 at 7:18 pm | Reply

    I am indiscriminately vain-unashamedly so-and embrace my shameful vanity with no fear! I am the BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Even if for a passing moment in time, sunshine, a vapor in the wind, a glimmer on the grass-until the devil of seeking my OWN approval starts whispering again-more to obsess about, more to learn.

    But seriously, thinking on what you are saying, not for your approval, but for my own organizational purposes, in my own mind, to know where I stand on this I share the following: I have earned the money I make, and I invest a small amount of it into ‘maintaining’ the status quo. I am in the beauty industry so it is kind of expected of me. So, I also have running jokes with people who are close to me about my own attempts to outrun the clock. Everyone knows we will all age, eventually die, and return to ashes and dust. Much MUCH more of my money goes to helping ‘others’ both voluntarily and spontaneously, and by force at Tax Time.

    So, a little levity is all I offer myself and others. I think the only reason I would suggest to someone they might want to monitor their own ‘fear factors’ is if it were affecting their ability to function in life. I would briefly try to ‘cheer lead’ until it became obvious that they are absolutely shut off to what I am saying and want to just exorcise those fears just by talking about them, in which case I would listen. I know the tar baby that is the denial or suppression of any thing-especially fear!

    One thing I know, I am not the same girl I was before “LIFE” happened. I have certainly had to learn to adapt and adjust once ‘humbled’ into the knowing that there are others who are actually paying such close attention to what I do, think, say or want, that they are actually taking “Spiritual Inventory” and kind of keeping tabs. I’ve noticed that these people always don’t have what I do, and want what that is. My money. Not arguing here, just stating an observed phenomenon dispassionately, darling!

  3. Jamie Says:
    June 12, 2010 at 12:21 am | Reply

    I like this entry of yours. I think very much the same way.

    There is one part – to me – the seems a little off. *grin*

    You said…”The vain are so ashamed of their own fear that they may shame others for experiencing fear. The presence of fear threatens the ashamed, who may urgently tell others (and themselves): “Stop that now; you should not be so fucking negative!”

    I would say this part sounds more like arrogance than vanity. 😉

    • jrfibonacci Says:
      June 12, 2010 at 2:23 am | Reply

      I agree, Jamie. However, consider that arrogance is actually just a specific subcategory of vanity. Can you think of an example in which someone was behaving with arrogance but not vanity?

      By vanity, I also refer to the more generic meaning of “in vain,” like as in ineffective. Of course, arrogance can impress the naive and repel certain others, so it has it’s function. However, arrogance is never elegant, economical, efficient, graceful. Arrogance is an expression of a root suffering.

      I say this having been arrogant, like when I was feeling “slighted” and wanted to defend/assert/attack as an expression of my masculine power- but an underdeveloped power, as arrogance again is never elegant- indeed, never especially powerful- yet it works sometimes to bring safety- to ward off danger.

      Arrogance is like saying “hey, I think you may not know how dangerous I could be to you. Do you really want to find out?” Obviously, arrogance is also craving approval and attention and affection, but it is doing so in an awkward, testy way- like “show me that you really have the presence and groundedness to put me in my place. I’m going to act like you are interested in me enough to bear my arrogance but that you are inadequate
      to interrupt it and redirect me. I’m challenging you to be powerful. I dare you to humiliate me. By the way, I am skeptical of trusting you still or I would not be interacting with you with such arrogance. Can anyone handle my distress? I’m in distress and this is how I am inviting guidance.”

      Think of the average teenage boy (or girl?). It’s rebellious. It is vain, as in drawing attention to one’s self. Note that “vain” is not bad, but just not literally consistent, like ineffective for the STATED purposes.

      Consider that “hey, I don’t like you anymore, ASSHOLE!” can be a “reverse psychology” inquiry or invitation in to an experiment in whether YOU like ME. Arrogance has it’s place. So does vanity. Calling attention to one’s self with passive aggression is simply calliung attention to one’s self with passive agression.

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