are gay foster parents evil? (a parody)

from a facebook thread on this content:

Foster care… let’s see, single adults (like the unmarried kind of which there are quite a few these days) can provide foster care, right? I know a single adult who has done foster care- and obviously every foster care placement is different and some may go “better or worse” than others- but if there is an unmet demand for foster care and there are people willing to do it, then what might be interesting would be an orientation program to support adults in functionality as foster parents. Even closet-gay Catholic priests could participate. Omigod- did I really just type that?

Anyway, the point of an orientation would be that only some candidates would be quickly assessed as “grade A” and others would be assessed as specially competent- like qualified to work with severely disabled children of certain kinds. The willingness of the adults (not dismissing their financial stability, demonstrated emotional maturity, etc) would be the primary factor, plus the trainings might have a small cost paid by the participants so that if someone is not deemed “green light,” then they could re-apply for more training and might eventually be “passed” for candidacy as a foster parent, but only after personal development of whatever sort.

If anyone cares, I have a few points of possible credibility to note. I happen to have lived several months in an orphanage and then was adopted. Plus, my first job out of college was working with kids whose behavior was such that they were removed from foster care, but not so bad that they were sentenced to live a juvenile detention center (or had finished their stay at one of those). That residential facility was run by the United Methodist Church. Finally, the single parent that I know who did foster care happens to be my birth mother.

I’m not sure how Roger or anyone else on this facebook thread is interested in these matters specifically. From formal foster care to formal adoption to volunteering with schools or churches or employment in some social work type of setting, there are tons of ways to be involved with kids and/or promote effective parenting/child-rearing.

Any church can discontinue any program as it wishes, even if they seem like raving bigots in how they do it. On the other hand, I personally think of marriage traditionally as being for the purpose of procreation (as distinct from sex as only for procreation). I understand how some people would prefer that some other legal term be used for any other committed monogamy. For instance, if two gay men “get married,” are they both “my husband” to each other? That certainly would be a variation of the traditional use of the word.

However, with step-families and multi-wife marriages (like for Muslims or old-school Mormons– and I am not sure why that is illegal in many countries), for a child, it is fine to call a variety of adult people “my parents.” We even made up a legal category called “guardian.”

A child can have 3 grandmothers just like one can have 3 aunts- no big deal. “Dad” and “mom” and (half-brothers and half-sisters etc) are not odd terms to spread beyond blood relations- like african american culture calls lots of people cousin and brothers and so on- even those catholic monastics use the term brother, sister, mother superior and father etc, but husband and wife are terms that specifically have been associated with a man and a woman, particular two having sex for procreation.

So, we also have this neutral term: spouse (however, both should NOT have the same first name, as comdeian Leslie Neilsen said in the movie Airplane: “Roger, Roger?”). I figure that there is a set of terms that everyone can agree on, even if we have to make some new ones up- if enough of us will just commit to peaceful co-existence. I say, let the heterosexual procreative people have the term marriage and let’s all agree to use the term “legal union” or something and consider that marriage is just one subcategory of “legal union.” Also, consider that we are actually not very far from China in which one might have to get the government’s permission to get pregnant: a state-issued license.

So, anyway, if 4 people all want to be “married” to each other, fine. If all of them are the same physical sex, fine. If they want to be married all at once or in sequence- like 1st ex-wife, 2nd ex-wife, current wife, fine. You want to know how much I care about all of that… not very much! God bless us all, I say. Then again, I think weird things like prostitution maybe should be legal while selling the annuities of insurance companies that are about to go out of business trying to keep those outrageous promises maybe should be a crime.

Now, obviously, the institutions of marriage and family are in transition, along with governments and culture and bla bla bla. Consider that this has ALWAYS been the case, and yes there are often a few of us who resist all change as the terrifying unknown. Resistance may be a sign of an obsolete paradigm. I think it was one of those heretical Christian people who said something like this: “judge not those ignorant, stubborn dumb-asses over there who have a speck in their own perception, but first remove the condemnation from your own perception.”

2 Responses to “are gay foster parents evil? (a parody)”

  1. jaguar Says:

    I agree
    OMG J.r did you really just suggest a Catholic priest as a foster parent?
    Oh . . . that’s right, your blog is about potentially ‘evil’ foster parents . . .

    Hmmm, I agree about the orientation
    I think drivers should go through a similar orientation
    Maybe biological parents too? (as in before they have their kids)

    Amen, God Bless us all!
    And . . . generally a big fat AMEN!

    Cool J.r.
    Well you got my attention posting directly to my page
    If I agree to make more effort to read your blogs
    will you agree to allow me to decide which to post on my wall?

  2. danijela Says:

    Have you noticed how people who call themselves “liberal” become “main stream”? There is nothing avantgarde in their attitudes. Sticked to what is popular they are ready to jump straight away against anybody who dare to say something diferrent, unusual and less treny. These great lovers of freedom are almost ready to crucify that one. Isn´t it funy for someone who is liberal?

    It is interesting how you met your mother.

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