A Devil of a God
By Narcissus the Hypocriticizing Accuser
Dear reader, you are a hypocrite. What’s worse than that is that you pretend not to know it. I really hate that!
By the way, I’m a also hypocrite. However, I know it and I even openly admit it.
See how noble and honest I am about it? That is exactly how I am better than you, and I openly admit that, too, thank you very much.
Plus, you suffer from a lack of humility, by which I mean no freaking sense of humor at all. It would be amazing to me… if only I had not seen so many cases completely identical to yours in every way, um, for every single day of my horrific and pointless life.
I’m not just telling you this, you know, to reinforce what I already know: that I am better than you. I’m simply telling you this for your own good. Oh, and plus the fact that your relentless hypocrisy can be incredibly annoying.
So, anyway, could you just stop it? It’s flipping insane that you act like suffering is something that happens to you.
When are you going to admit that your own idolatrous self-importance is the real issue? On and on you go narrating about your self-importance, like a trophy of shame that you and anyone who believes in your self-importance has to suffer, to endure, to bear, to carry like a burden of imaginary illusions that justify why you hate life.
Oh, hey, I heard this really original excuse for why you hate life the other day. Want to hear it? Well, I’ll tell you anyway, and, by the way, I may keep telling you until you show that you get it.
Here is the totally fucking original excuse that every single hypocrite that I have ever accused of being a hypocrite has worshiped as their big trophy that everybody must bow down to and prostrate before: “life hates me.” Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Hypocrites hate life because they claim to be the victims of life hating them- maybe just that one person once or maybe the unbelievable rudeness of a weather pattern or an economic shift. You tell me: have you ever met a hypocrite who did not fixate on at least one particular thing about life and then make that into a personal insult? Yeah, that hurricane was just God messing with you personally, obviously because of that one thing you did or did not do that one time.
You hate life, don’t you? You do and don’t flipping tell me that you don’t know it!
I can tell when you say total bullshit like: “She is the one who is to blame for my self-importance. I am so miserable because I inherited it from her. I had to play in to her self-importance and act like her self-importance was sacred, worshiping it.”
Whatever! That is some very shitty bullshit that you’ve been profaning your mind and heart with, huh?
By the way, you should know that it’s not what you put in you that defiles you, but the constant bullshit that you spill out of your mouth and then feed to yourself and apparently expect everyone else to feed on, too. Of course, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you have any intelligence whatsoever.
By the way, in case you were wondering, if it wasn’t for you and your addiction to self-importance, my life would be great- in fact, perfect! What do you expect me to do: sit here quietly and listen to you whine constantly about how everyone else except you is such a hypocrite? Uh, yeah, you can wake up now.
You were never really a very good hypocrite anyway. I’ve been watching you (and trying to stay awake as I am subjected to your amateur theatrics) and here is what you need to know: your hypocrisy was totally old school.
Let me know if you dare to learn from a true master over here, okay?
What? What the fuck did you just say?
You know not what you do? Hmmm… wow, haven’t I heard that somewhere before? That must be only a coincidence, right?
Do you even know who you are talking to? Just to punish your pathetic little self of allegedly singular importance, I am simply going to pretend that you did not even just say that.
I see that I need to back up to something very simple now in order to get this message through the thickness of your armored heart. So, here’s one last free little gem for you, in case I am wrong about you and you are not totally retarded. Observe and learn:
“Hey world, I’m over here; look at me! Everyone stop whatever you are doing right now to come and worship me. I’ll be your best friend, okay?”
Dear reader, this has been a work of fiction, tastelessly contrived from a pack of lies, totally baseless falsehoods, and sheer non-sense… all crammed together straight up your already tight asshole. Any resemblance to you personally must be a total fucking coincidence, right? You’re so vain; you probably think this song is about you, don’t you?
We do not have to sail in the direction of the wind, but if we ever sail off course, is it easier to change the direction of the wind or the direction of the sail?
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