Posts Tagged ‘paranoia’

The motivational value of emotions (and why emotions get suppressed)

November 14, 2015

My notes (on which the video lecture is based):

When do people have an issue with certain emotions that they label as negative? For a person who has been trained to inhibit the social display of certain emotions (out of terror of social punishment), then there will be an anxiety about showing certain emotions.

Instead of relating to fear as a motivating force to use caution and assess risk and then avoid any actual dangers, some people relate to fear as socially shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are afraid and so they don’t want people around them to display fear (because that might resonate with them and trigger a surfacing of their own suppressed insecurity). They fear a social recognition of their fear. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to disappointment as a motivating force to assess the purpose of one’s own actions and then to assess the effectiveness of one’s own methods and producing those results and then perhaps updating one’s methods, some people also relate to disappointment as shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are disappointed and they don’t want people around them to be disappointed, so they attempt to protect them from disappointment.

Why? They do not want to be punished for disappointing others and, once again, they don’t want displays of disappointment in their midst because that could resonate with their own buried disappointment, causing their own disappointment to surge to the surface. They fear a social recognition of their disappointment. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to anger as a motivating force to recognize one’s own interests and boundaries, finally, people may relate to anger as shameful or negative or disruptive. Anger, just like fear and disappointment, can certainly be disruptive. That is what it is for, right? When someone is ashamed of anger, they do not want to draw attention to themselves and become targets of social bullies who seek to discourage anger with punishment, through guilt trips and ridicule and harassment and of course the organized violence of armed soldiers, as in gangsters, police, armies, and other operations for governing humans through coercion.

Systems for social conditioning conduct rituals to promote shame and compliance in their targeted population of potential human resources (and to minimize or eliminate disruption to the rituals of social programming). In other words, they want to operate their systems for governing humans with the maximum amount of efficiency.
considering the military capacity of various systems that govern humans through coercion, we can respect the intelligence and appropriateness of the ability to inhibit the display of socially targeted emotions such as fear, disappointment, and anger.

We can also respect the rare case of people who seem to us to be safe as witnesses of our full range of emotions. Because of their demonstrations of discretion and perceptiveness and gentleness and communication with others, we made confide in them with comfort and an open trust. For many people, the distress of their paranoia and anxiety will result in them experiencing increased repulsion in regard to communicating with those that they see as unsafe or immature. In contrast, the magnetic appeal of those who demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness maybe, at least temporarily, so disruptive to their normal patterns of inhibiting their own emotions that they recognize their own internal instability and then have a new challenge of finding an appropriate pace for their interactions with the person or people that they find distinctively mature and trustworthy in regard to revealing their own tangles of emotion.

They may wish to drop everything to devote themselves to interacting with that person or those people. They may resist the magnetic attraction that they experience (like resisting by distracting themselves with old familiar habits of socializing and internal dialogue to generate justifications for any emotions that they experience as frighteningly disruptive). They may make their own practices of paranoia and anxiety all the more simple, ironic, and obvious (which serves to help them see it for themselves for what it is, similar to a snake gradually shedding a layer of skin).

​Courage: what is it and how is it valuable?

June 24, 2015

​Courage: what is it?

Courage is related to fear, right? It’s not ignoring fear though.

Ignoring fear is foolishness, no matter how popular or common that is. If you are driving and other people start honking their horns, they are promoting extra alertness or caution. Wouldn’t it be foolish to dismiss a bunch of honking because “those people are probably just afraid, which is never wise?”

Fear (or fright) is a sudden shift of attention to a possible risk. In other words, the purpose of fright is to produce caution. Lack of caution (carelessness, negligence, complacence) is certainly not courage.

People who reactively condemn the display of fear or distress are reacting in distress. People only condemn what disturbs them (what terrifies them).

People who are hysterically terrified of social criticism can attempt to pretend not to experience fear, but it is fear that leads them to withdraw in to exclusive clusters (like an anti-fear church). I respect the potential value of withdrawing in fear and shame. It is wise to quickly withdraw from potential distractions and complications out of fear (out of commitment to other priorities). It is certainly valuable to precisely assess possible threats. It is also understandable to lean toward caution or conservatism.

I also respect that, in deep shame, some people may attempt to confuse courage with withdrawing in shame to an exclusive cluster of like-minded people (“safe” people who are also paranoid about displaying fear, so the whole group can all repress the display of fear). When the display of fear is socially shamed, such as in certain churches, then even simply displaying fear can inquire a surge of courage (and even going outside of one’s familiar social circles). By avoiding fear, many people who call themselves “spiritually-advanced” are also avoiding courage (and caution, too).

Courage is also not just taking action after precisely measuring danger. Just because someone measures risk, that does not suddenly guarantee that any action taken after the measuring of risk is automatically courage.

So what is courage? It could involve doing something that is rarely done, like something that gets no social rewards or approval (or even something that can lead to loss of privileges or punishment).

Is it rare to condemn others who disagree with you? To me, that is extremely common. What could be rare is to respect those who have other perceptions.

Courage involves a respect for perceptiveness in general. In particular, courage is about precisely perceiving risk and opportunity.

It is foolish to act without awareness of risk and opportunity. It is even more foolish to know better opportunities and lower risks, yet act anyway in spite of that knowledge. That is self-sabotage (self-destruction).

However, because of social anxiety, it is quite common to act in disregard of risk and opportunity. People may want to avoid the experience of being perceived as unusual. An extreme paranoia about risking social criticism can lead to people taking actions simply because they are popular or familiar, in contrast to taking actions because the actions have been assessed as reliably producing relevant results.

Since I called the paranoia “extreme,” one might presume that I mean rare extremes of paranoia. However, I consider extreme paranoia quite common.


The courage to recognize common paranoias as paranoid

How does extreme paranoia get to be so common? I think that public schools are a primary contributor to extremes of social paranoia.

Imagine that a child goes in to a classroom with lots of other kids and the teacher says “I am going to present some ideas to you and you will memorize them so you can be rewarded for repeating them just as I presented them to you.” Then the teacher may say “what is important to you is to stop your body from making any substances that poison all of you, such as this one:”

C24H40O5

How many students ask about why the teacher is saying that  “C24H40O5 poisons all of you?” They are all busy trying to memorize answers for their upcoming test. If they think that they may be tested on how many atoms of hydrogen are in that molecule, then they will focus on the number of hydrogen atoms.

They are memorizing the teacher’s assertions about science. They are not learning science (at least not by memorizing something that would be trivia to them if not for the bait of being rewarded if they do well on a test).
Since children are naturally competitive, they seek the teacher’s attention (especially approval). What happens when the teacher asks “what is the chemical formula of the substance that every liver on the planet makes to poison the organism that makes it?”Just as they have all been trained, the students raise their hands eagerly, hoping to attract the attention and approval of the authority figure. Then one gets called on by the teacher and promptly says “C24H40O5!” The teacher says “yes, very good.” Several other students seem disappointed that the other one got the teacher’s approval and mumble “I knew that, too!”

Again, what just happened is not the teaching of science. Science (as I understand the term) is not the practice of memorizing unexamined assertions.

Of course, students are being programmed with reflexive hysteria about a particular substance, but even that detail is secondary to the general pattern of unquestioning acceptance of the assertions of the authority. The authority makes a claim. The students (usually) focus on memorizing the claim (without considering for even one moment the accuracy or precision of the claim). Then, there is a social validation of the students who most effectively repeat on a test a bunch of the claims in the curriculum. The general pattern is social anxiety in competition for the approval of the authority (which is scarce / conditional).

But what about students who do not show sufficient enthusiasm for blindly repeating the teacher’s claims? What about students who question the relevance of the lessons? What about students who even question the accuracy of the claims made by the teacher?

Of students who fail to be enthusiastic about blindly repeating the teacher’s claims, there are a few types. All of them can be disciplinary issues for the smooth managing of a classroom.

The students who are perhaps too smart to be caught up in the drama can be put in to gifted programs (or can skip a grade) so that they can be amongst students and content that is more challenging for them. Students who are just too wild (anxious) for the typical classroom can be drugged (subdued pharmaceutically). Students who are too slow to compete with their peers can be put in to special classes with a different levels of competitiveness.

Students who respond relatively well to the common levels of test anxiety promoted in their classroom can stay in that classroom. Their natural curiosity can be diverted by the curriculum and they can be taught that science is blindly repeating unexamined assertions (among other trivia).

The ones who do quite well (in terms of excelling at blindly repeating memorized claims) can go on to be Teachers, Professors, CPAs, or Medical Doctors. Their social anxiety might be even more extreme than for most people. Why? Because their incomes (careers) rely on the idea that their skill at memorizing and blindly repeating claims is generally equivalent to merit.Of course, if a governing institution hires people based on certain factors, then those factors are relevant to getting hired. However, for any other purpose being getting hired by a government, those same factors may be quite irrelevant.

Governments thrive on compliance, especially to tax laws and other methods of redistribution from the masses to the government elite. So, governments measure compliance and reward it.

When there is a social context of rewarding compliance, that can lead to shaming anyone’s lack of enthusiasm for mastering the art of compliance. That can lead to a vilification of non-compliance (as in a vilification of courage).

However, non-compliance with tax laws, for instance, may be foolish rather than courageous. Courage is not acting in spite of risk.

Courage is first about recognizing opportunities that the masses are too distracted (by their extreme paranoia) to notice. Many will even dismiss an unfamiliar opportunity just because it is embarassingly unfamiliar to them. In fact, if the opportunity involves a method that is contrary to a method they have been using, they may be terrified of the idea that they may have been naive in their blind compliance with popular practices (typically, those marketed to them through mainstream media and schools).

If some MD has been prescribing statin medication for a few decades with the sincere presumption that the statin drugs are beneficial, it can be quite shocking to read the actual medical research on the subject. The idea with statin drugs is that they attack the functioning of the liver, which impairs production by the liver of certain substances which are presumed poisonous. What if those demonized “poisons” are not actually poisonous? Wouldn’t that be a challenging emotional experience for that person to even consider? Why not just react with dismissive, antagonistic hysteria? In other words, why not come up with an excuse to flee from the subject of the scientific accuracy of their sacred presumptions?

It would take courage to admit to prior errors (especially prior naivete). It could take courage to question the scientific credibility of any of the sacred presumptions of “mainstream science” (even just to question it in private).

Note that by “mainstream science” here, I do not mean what scientists do. I mean what teachers and the media program the masses to believe about what scientists do.


Note that the above references to C24H40O were intentionally misleading. That was cholic acid. Pictured directly above is cholesterol (C27H46O) which many scientists claim is a substance made by every healthy liver on the planet as part of a healthy organism. Also, these “so-called scientists” claim that they have observed that when tissue deteriorates, cholesterol is sent to the area to promote repair of tissue. So, they have measured that cholesterol levels are correlated to certain states of poor health. However, the claim that cholesterol ever causes tissue damage is a completely distinct idea. Even if it ever causes damage, does it always?

The value of courage

So, first it is valuable to recognize opportunities that the masses may be too distracted or paranoid to consider. Further, there is a similar issue with risk. The masses may be driven by mainstream programming in to such enthusiastic manias that they believe things to be safe simply because the government did not call them dangerous.

What if some people relied on science itself rather than government claims about science? What if people assessed what is relevant to them independently of mainstream programming?What if people assessed risks directly (rather than just repeating mainstream slogans about risk)? Some things that people may have been programmed to consider risky (such as “poisons” made by their liver) may not be as risky as they presumed (because they were rewarded for providing that answer on a test in school). Further, some things that people may have been programmed to consider safe may actually be risky.

What if people assessed relevance, risk, and opportunity directly (such as using their own logic applied to their own observations and measurements)? Many things that they were programmed to relate to as great opportunities might not be. Some things that they were programmed to relate to as risky could be safe and reliable and beneficial. Other things that were never referenced in mainstream curriculum could be the most relevant opportunities of all.

What is the value of courage? One value is to intelligently assess the actual relevance of anything that mainstream programming presents as relevant, plus be responsible for what one identifies as relevant (as a priority). Another value is to assess the risks of mainstream complacency (in general and in particular cases) and then minimize or avoid those risks. One more value is to assess opportunities precisely (whether the mainstream ignores or adores those topics).

Briefly, courage allows us to develop precision in our assessments of opportunity and risk, then reduce or eliminate risks and maximize opportunities. Even more briefly, courage allows us to let go of the crippling chains of social paranoia that we have been trained to cling to hysterically.Knowledge alone does not set anyone free. Note that many may people flee from knowledge in shame.

Courage is relevant. Courage exercises freedom and develops it.

If you were open to experiencing a new level of courage, what would you do? If you were willing to experience a huge and sudden relief from social anxiety, how willing could you be?

paranoia, arrogance, salvation, etc

February 15, 2014
  • Thursday
  • Shelly Barineau

    Excellent speaking with you today. I forgot to ask you what you think may improve my paranoia. Me specifically based on what you know abt me. DF said you mentioned that some of his frustration may be due to looking for specific types of conversations rather than being open to another person’s interest.

    J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    I told DF that if he values fun and he does not find certain conversations fun, then pretending otherwise can lead to frustration. The solution to that is to respect one’s own disappointment an either withdraw or initiate fun conversations (with those same people who have been having less interesting conversations- or not talking at all out of shyness, etc).

  • Shelly Barineau
    2/13, 10:22pm

     SB: I know you told some things I should be aware of… And to alter my response accordingly… Like withdraw if necessary (without shame). But I guess I was wondering if you notice a trap in my behavior.
  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    As for you withdrawing, when you are repulsed by something, one solution is to withdraw with shame or without shame. Shame is just an adaption.

    The only two general forms of action are to approach (initiate) or to retreat/ withdraw. Shame is a signal to withdraw, but shame also corresponds to the experience of terror without any recognition of a viable method of withdrawing.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    It is the freeze response from fight, flight, freeze or fake. It is a form of paralysis.

    It is internal withdrawal (like shyness) rather than a physical retreat.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    So, respect is a core issue. When a child is terrified and craving social attention (nourishment, protection, etc), then they target “I want to be liked.” That is a basic tension. They learn what not to do and what to do, then what to say or not say, and so on. That fear leads to pretense and faking as in “say the thing people will like.”

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    Eventually, a child may learn not only to hide experiences like disappointment and frustration (withhold them), but to cut off their own perception of them (denial).

     

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    An example of denial is “I desire social connection but I should not.” Specifically, “but I should not” is the denying or rejecting or disrespecting of the attraction. We also learn to deny repulsions: “oh no, of course I like ____. Everyone does and I fit in with everyone one because I (pretend to) like ____.”

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

     

    Arrogance arises when one of my shames are challenged, like “I do not think that you really like math class.” I say in outrage: “what?!?! Math is awesome. I am so good at math that I can multiply 3 grade levels above my age. I do NOT hate it. You SUCK! I am telling on you for sucking. In fact, I bet you suck at math, don’t you?” All of that is terrified pretense.

    Regarding the “accusation” of “you do not like math class,” a curious response would be “oh, really? Why do you say that?”

    An uninterested response would be “ok- I do not know why you would care, but I am busy so thanks for sharing. Bye.” (The “gratitude” could be pretentious, as in “subtly” repulsive.)

    The defensive, arrogant, aggressive response (“you suck”) is neither uninterested or curious. It is ashamed, terrified, even paralyzed.

    “You should respect me because I am good at math” is arrogant. “You should care how good I am at math like my mom does!”

    Another reply to the accusation: “well, sometimes that class can be boring. What do you think of it.”

    That is called “starting a conversation.”

    “I think third period is fun though. What is your favorite class?”

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    Arrogant animosities are the branches on the limb of shame. No shameful pretenses mean no projecting of shameful pretenses.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    Can someone return to self-respect by shaming others? No.

    Respect them. Withdraw condemnation. The relief from the tension shaming (called salvation) comes from discontinuing the behavior of shaming. Repent. Notice. Relax. Be mindful. Catch your breath. Go sit under a remote tree until “the devil’s temptations” no longer disturb you. Hum a mantra. Practice a ritual of distraction, such as baptism.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    Also, it is not arrogant shaming when someone intentionally disturbs someone with words of shaming. That is real aggression with insincere, fake shaming. They are not upset. They are testing. Some women often will attempt to shame someone just to test confidence. They are joking, but there is real aggression in their *intentional* creative pretenses.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn
    J R Fibonacci Hunn

    “John, you know you can’t take out the garbage now because you are too weak to go outside in this weather and carry that heavy of a load. Maybe you should go play some video games.”

    That gets in to reverse psychology, etc


  • Of course, the aggression could even be faked.

    So, arrogance is a form of tantrum. It is a call for validation and approval.

    So, a powerful response to arrogance could be a compliment.

Santa Claus is the God of paranoia

February 8, 2014
She fooled me               She lied and deceived me                                      She got me                    to do what she wanted
She schooled me          she tricked me, confused me and ruled me      as I followed her lead
 
“Santa Claus is the God always watching                                      so better do as I say cause the haunting
is about to begin and you’re stopping                                              your playful ways to worship holy paranoia
 
Wait- you’ll go to hell if you think the wrong thought.             Hey- don’t you want to earn your way to heaven?
Wait- you’ll get coal if you don’t do what you’re taught.           Hey- if you make A’s, then the world will bow in reverence.
 
Santa Claus is the God always watching”


 
I blamed her            I named her the scapegoat                            I hated her power  her presence     her confidence
I questioned             how will I fake loyalty till my escape
I was a scared boy        even terrified                I learned to hide it    or at least I tried
I was a clever man      so slow to trust              quick to find gaping holes in logic
I want to make her mad     I want prove her wrong
I want to show her that I am the smarter one
I want to cause her shame    to return her my pain
I want to watch as she prays for mercy to Santa
but I’m a clever man    I know resentment        won’t bring me any closer to heaven
so I give her respect      I withdraw contempt    I forgive her of my condemnation
Yes, she fooled me               She lied and deceived me                                      She got me                    to do what she wanted
Yes, she schooled me          she tricked me, confused me and ruled me      as I followed her lead
I was a child             an ungrateful bastard           she kept me safe     for that I thank her
She did her thing   like a million other people    like all the churches    governments and media
Santa Claus is the God always watching            Santa Claus is the God always watching
Santa Claus is the God always watching            Santa Claus is the God of paranoia
 
Santa Claus is the God always watching                                      so better do as I say cause the haunting
is about to begin and you’re stopping                                             your playful ways to worship holy paranoia
 
Wait- you’ll go to hell if you think the wrong thought.             Hey- don’t you want to earn your way to heaven?
Wait- you’ll get coal if you don’t do what you’re taught.           Hey- if you make A’s, then the world will bow in reverence.


 
Santa Claus is the God always watching            Santa Claus is the God always watching
Santa Claus is the God always watching            Santa Claus is the God of paranoia

The path of personal power: going past paranoia about popularity

February 4, 2014

The path of personal power:

going past paranoia about popularity

Satan shaming the mirror

First, I will define power and then personal power. Power refers to the amount of results that can be quickly produced by a particular method.

(For instance, an increase in power would be producing better results in a smaller amount of time with a smaller amount of precisely focused energy. In contrast, producing moderate results while using a lot of resources and a lot of time is not as powerful.)

Personal power refers to your personal capacity to efficiently produce the outcomes that you value. For instance, in regard to health, imagine someone with a degenerative disease. If they can invest $10,000 across 2 years and slow down the advance of a degenerative disease, then that may be a result that they value. In my own case, I experienced the symptoms popularly labeled as Multiple Sclerosis and I spent $5 to add something to my diet (something that has been common for humans to consume for many thousands of years) and then, the morning after I ate only $5 of that special food, I recovered my ability to walk overnight. Compared to the results that most people with MS experience, my results were very powerful. They were very effective, very quickly, and with very little resources used.

Now, how can we increase our personal power? First, personal power is not the same as popularity. I note this because most of what prevents people from experiencing personal power is a paranoia about maintaining social popularity. People may be resistant to research an unfamiliar approach to health care. Why? Because if they do not recognize it as an approach that is already popular, then they would prefer to maintain their current results in regard to health rather than risk sacrificing some amount of social popularity.

Having a serious medical problem or even a disability, like I had, can be a very effective way to attract social interaction with others. Many people would prefer to maintain poor health or even reduce their health in order to attract social engagement from others. In extreme cases, we can use the term “hysterical paralysis,” which involves a real hysteria and a real paralysis (though often temporary). The hysteria involves a paranoid desperation in regard to certain kinds of social interaction. The neurological inefficiency of the paranoid hysteria can actually lead to physical crippling.

In other words, paranoia about popularity corresponds to inefficiency, like neurological inefficiency. There are two forms of paranoia that I will now address, as well as how to resolve them and take the path of personal power.

First, the two basic forms of paranoia about popularity are arrogance and shame. Arrogance is generally the easier to recognize, since we often witness it in others. It is purely a paranoia about social popularity, especially a concern for whether others “respect me enough.”

An example of arrogance would be if I said sincerely that “the rest of reality should be a certain way. It should conform to my idealism about how it should be- like those people should be how I say they should be, and that person too and especially the one I was talking about for the last few years!”

A more specific example would be if I said to someone “you should be more grateful. In particular, you should be more grateful for me and for my righteous sincerity. I may not produce the valued results powerfully, but I try very hard (investing lots of time and resources) and so you should thank me for my inefficiency because it is so sincere. However, you never ever do and your lack of approval is very disappointing and quite frustrating and just plain insulting. So, because of my long list of excellent justifications, I condemn you for not praising me more- not that I am preoccupied with social popularity, because that is obviously not true. Therefore I demand that you must either praise my mediocrity or prepare to be excluded, if not attacked. Come on: say that I am not at all concerned with social approval or popularity! Say it by the time I count to 10 or else I will be forced by you to punish you severely.”

What is behind such a panic of arrogant shaming? The projection of shame toward some target of demonization or vilification is always from one’s own pre-existing shame. If there is an idolatrous worship of a specific ideal about how people should be, and if the category “people” includes me, then that ideal will also be self-applied.

If I say “I am exactly how I should be and I am not at all how I should not be,” what is that called? That can be called rigidity (with physical crippling in extreme cases). That can also be called arrogance as well as… the reactionary denial of paranoid shame: “I am exactly how I should be and I am not at all how I should not be!”

Consider words of panic like these: “How dare you suggest that I am not how I insist that I am?!?!?” Now, why would it be offensive if I said to a duck that it was not a goose? Only when there is a pretense of being a goose (“because that is how all birds should be”), would there be any panic at the suggestion that a duck is actually a duck. A duck that is ashamed of being a duck could insist that it is a goose and that anyone who suggests otherwise is… arrogant, which “obviously no one should ever be.”

Where does idealism about “how people should be” come from? These idealisms are indoctrinated by social conditioning, such as churches, schools, and mass media. When two fanatical fundamentalists from different cultural backgrounds meet, they will inevitably explode in to a panic of arguing sincerely about which form of idealism is “the only right one.”

So, a paranoid pre-occupation with idealism about popular views of how things should be is inefficient. It is literally crippling. It is a terrified idolatry, in the sense of a panic of rejecting portions of tangible reality for some ideal. Arrogance and shame are thus the two basic forms of what has been labeled “sin,” which basically means “a way of doing things that does not work very well, which is not powerful.”

Here is a traditional formula for spiritual maturity:

Forgive others (stop condemning them in a panic of paranoid arrogance) and then you will experience relief from your own shame. Also, in case you were wondering, how many times should you forgive others of being however you condemn them for being? Forgive them as many times as it takes until you recognize that condemning them is exhausting you, inhibiting you, crippling you, paralyzing you, resisting your past shame. Stop resisting your past shame and instead relax.”

The activity of forgiving or repenting is a powerful method for releasing the crippling tensions of shame. When the paranoid idealism of the panicking ego or persona is totally exhausted or “extinguished,” that is called a spiritual rebirth (or nirvana).

You might wonder what is it like to live without a crippling paranoia about popularity. The absence of paranoia does not imply a disregard for the importance of reputation. Those who say that they disregard reputation may only be saying that in order to attract social approval for their pretense of self-acceptance. They may still practice self-rejection, as evident in their frequent, intense projections of disgust toward others: “look, that particular government really should NOT be how they are. It is simply disgusting and shameful!”

All arrogant contempt is a form of paranoia or panic. It is a signal of underlying shame.

So, what is the absence of shame like? First, recall that shame is the splitting of personality in to “how I should be, which is how I really am” (according to the one ashamed) and “how I should not be, which yes I used to be in a few ways, but I heroically recovered from those personality flaws, like now I am beyond evil emotions like fear or disappointment or frustration or desire, which are emotions for evil people, and obviously I am NOT one of those!”

The absence of shame has no network of physical tension. The physical body is not repressing facial expressions or “holding the tongue.” This is a tremendous physical relief.

Further, there is no sincere pretense. That is also known as a sense of humor or playfulness.

“Oh yeah, look at this picture of me from that one Halloween. I am the one dressed up as The Incredible Hulk. I was so angry and violent that my little sister was scared to go door to door with me at first. We had a lot of fun though.”

There is awareness of the self (in all of its qualities and patterns). That contrasts with the various intensities of multiple-personality schizophrenia, as in the simultaneous condemnation and repression of certain shameful patterns as well as the intense glorification of a few select ways that one may pretend to be in a panic of paranoid arrogance about social popularity.

What about the absence of arrogance? When I accept reality as it actually is, including all of the various forms of idealism and social paranoia and so on, that can be called humility. I do not desperately presume to condemn any of the forms of the Almighty Creator (of “The Universe”).

In the ancient Hebrew oral tradition, the principle of humility was presented like this, as later recorded in writing:


“For every thing in creation, there is a purpose and a proper season: a time for love and for hate, a time for peace and for war, a time to sow and to reap….”

What is the natural logical extension of humility? After I withdraw my condemnation and contempt from others, then what is left? When I accept that every thing in creation has a purpose and a proper season, then that includes all people, including me.

That is called self-respect (or pride). In contrast to self-rejection in order to pursue social popularity by maintaining a pretense (“that I am exactly how I should be”), self-respect is relaxed and alert and attentive. There is receptivity to others rather than a contrast defensiveness against a possible threat to exposing my paranoid pretenses.

Further, there is tremendous power. I recognize what I value. I may not talk much about it, but I recognize it.

By recognizing what I value, I give up any pretenses of confusion, overwhelm, blame, and victimization. Maintaining pretenses can be very inefficient and even exhausting. I value efficiency.

I am not hysterically against pretense or secrecy, like what is used in governments. I simply value perceptiveness. Those whom I perceive to be lacking in perceptivity (and power), I withdraw from as relatively “low value.” Note that the more precise my own perception is, the more powerfully I can invest my resources and monitor my results.

So, I recognize what works and how well each method works. I am open to precise measurements as well as input and mentoring. However, again, I may be very selective about whose opinions I value.

I avoid inefficiency. I value results.
I also recognize the tremendous popularity of certain forms of paranoia and panic. Many organisms react neuro-chemically with such intensity that they are disgusted or disturbed by contrary perspectives (or even by the absence of enthusiastic praise). They may experience no freedom as to whether they argue. The reflexive arguments just spill out of their mouths like water flowing down under the influence of gravity.

“No, you just do not understand me! You should thank me for informing you of the horrible dangers of your ways. If you don’t adopt my model of sincere, fundamentalist idealism, then how is your ego ever going to get in to heaven when your body dies? If you are not paranoid now like me, then you will be condemned to an eternity of the torture of fearing future punishment. I mean, how can you even think of stopping your practice of agonizing? If you stop agonizing, then who will I have around in agony with me?!?!? Do not betray me! Misery loves company, right? I need you to desire my path to salvation. I can feel that the force is strong within you. Take my hand now and join me. The path of personal power is just a temptation of the devil, who is a threat to my God, who I claim to be Almighty, yet also to be threatened by one of his creations, the devil. Listen, how are you going to earn your way in to heaven if you stop panicking? How are you going to obsess over pretending to be how you should be if you stop worshiping a particular idolatry of how you should be? God punishes those who forgive humbly. Don’t condemn yourself to hell by practicing repentance and humility. That is for fools! Agonizing is the path to salvation. Fear the devil. The devil is so powerful that, rather than admit that you have been worshiping a crippling ideal of a powerful devil, you should think constantly about the importance of reverse psychological warfare. Reverse psychology simply should not exist. Psychological warfare is deceptive, disturbing, disgusting, and contributes to paranoia and mental illness. That is why you need to rescue humanity from reverse psychological warfare by last year. You’re late! It’s a tragedy! It’s a shame! It’s NOT just one possible story, just a way of relating to reality through the use of language to presumptively label things and then reflexively organize attention and interpretation and responses. Your actions are not the source of your results. Why do you even care about your results? That is evil! Finally, personal power is just plain wrong. Paranoia about popularity is holy. Whatever you do, do not abandon the eternal quest to run around in circles chasing after your own shadow. Your real problem is a lack of sincerity, plus you really need to run much faster. I recommend that you produce radically different results by trying the same old methods and then complaining when they produce the same old results again. You do agree with me, right? If you don’t, I am going to get really upset and then guilt trip you, and no one wants that: no one! I totally hate guilt trips. You should not be laying guilt trips on me. That is the reason that I am so frustrated with the results of my actions, by the way, because YOU have been distracting me by guilt tripping me too often and in the wrong way and about the wrong things. You apparently have so much self-righteous contempt for me that I am going to have a multi-decade tantrum now as an experiment of new methods of attracting social approval, which obviously I do not care about at all, because I am not evil like YOU!”

Satan chastising mirror

Delusional paranoia, healthy paranoia, and blowing whistles for pride or practicality

January 19, 2014


Comment from a correspondent (in reply to the recent article “Secrets of the Rulers”):

The game is rigged. The whistles apparently need to be blown now more than ever, though, when blown, they only help to increase the paranoia, and helplessness, which ‘seems’ justified, and even neccesary.

J.R. replies:

There are different kinds of whisteblowing. Not all are “idealistic.” There is filing a lawsuit (not just out of “the principle of it all”, but to win the lawsuit, like to collect monetary damages), then there is shouting to warn your family from approaching a dangerous boundary because a train is coming, or there is even trying to launch a publicity stunt protest with bullhorns and signs to intimidate or shame the opposition in to some kind of reform.

There are also two very distinct kinds of paranoia. One is an indicator of a lasting exposure to an accurately perceived risk, like I am so paranoid about theft that I buy a dead bolt lock and use it in my front door (or so paranoid about rain that I repair my roof). That kind of “paranoia” eventually resolves in to action, like a sense of being bothered enough to do something different, to explore some new action. That is “healthy.”

There is also paranoid delusion, which is like when someone has deep terror about the possibility that their own government would ever intentionally do anything that is not “very beneficial to everyone”, like a state lottery gambling promotion that is horrible financially for most of the participants. So, there is the first delusion (programmed by propaganda) and then a complex set of “compensations,” like distractions from the obvious. So, there can be delusions that lead to paranoia like the idea that there is a form of physical reality called diabetes or goiter which possesses people and alters their blood sugar or produces growths on the neck. That is delusion and it is rooted in paranoia.

In the case of goiter, it is the relative absence of iodine (relative to “poisons” like flouride and chlorine) which prevents the lymphatic system and thyroid gland from properly functioning and removing waste, thus leaving a “growth” of dead cells that the body is unable to remove. The growth or tumor is physically real, but it is an effect or symptom.

Then, a linguistic label is created called “goiter,” which is related to as a cause. The influence of the Almighty Creator is rejected so that the sinner can instead worship the demon of goiter and try to fight the demon. They take more antibiotics to fight the demon that they worship, which helps a bit for 3 days, but then causes 5 other problems.

Soon, the worshiper of mainstream demons is scheduling a surgery and arranging to live with 6 lifelong medical addictions. They fight not just the demon of goiter, but also diabetes and obesity and hypertension and a long list of demons that they claim to “have” (to be possessed by). “I have diabetes, which is a linguistic label for an effect. I am worshiping the label and fighting it and trying to remove the label from a jar by rotating the jar exactly 90 degrees and then carefully shining cancer radiation therapy at the jar.”

That is deep in mainstream paranoid delusion. That is the typical program of the masses.

The same kind of delusional paranoia is at the core of many other fields of activity, such as investing. “I am investing to hedge against rising inflation.” That could be functional paranoia, but only if people are actually monitoring objective measures of inflation. Most people are fighting something that is not present (that they only presume is present because of programmed paranoia).

They do not recognize that inflation is a human behavior. They think of it as some mysterious demon. Of course, that is just what the media programs them to do.

“I must concentrate all of my wealth in to mortgaged real estate to reduce risk.” That is delusional. Diversification reduces risk, not concentration- especially not in to the least safe market available: investing in real estate with borrowed funds.

Paranoia = attraction + repulsion

January 3, 2014
In life, there are many subjects that can attract lasting attention. There are two basic categories of lasting attention that we can notice: attraction and repulsion. Of course, for us to even think of something requires an element of attraction to the subject, as in an interest. If we have a word for something, then there is some interest in that subject of attention (some attraction to it as valuable or important).

So, we can also think of attraction and repulsion as stages of neurological experience. Repulsion from a particular thing requires some degree of prior attention to it (with attention itself being a form of attraction). The repulsion may greatly exceed any attraction, such as in the case of total disgust. A smaller difference in the attraction and repulsion would manifest in something like worrying, with ongoing frequent attention (attraction) to the subject. Between disgust and worrying would be agonizing, which implies strong attraction but also stronger repulsion. Without a strong attraction to the issue, there would be no agonizing, but instead a dismissal or only a very mild rejection.

For example, a loud noise may startle and alarm someone, attracting their attention, like in the case of an alarm clock. If the noise persists, then it may disturb someone. Note that a noise is a type of vibration, so a loud vibration that is nearby may actually physically shake everything around it. This could be the humming sound of a 18-wheeler truck, or the sound of a helicopter or motorcycle or jack-hammer.

So, we may notice a new sound, and we can call that an attracting of our attention. If we were focusing elsewhere, then our focus could be broken or interrupted. If the sound wakes us from sleeping, we would call it a disturbance. Further, we may desire to move away from the sound or, if we do not have the ability to move away from it, we may approach the source of the sound and attempt to reduce the sound or eliminate it, even through the use of intimidation and coercion.

That is the classic “fight or flight” response. These reflexes actually have a few other similar patterns, including “freeze” and “fake.” In the case of responding to a sound, rather than freeze in to physical stillness, we can freeze in another way. We can block our perception of the sound, either through using loud headphones or earplugs, or even numbing our sensitivity to the perceiving of sound, like when someone is near the sound of a blast which deafens them temporarily or permanently.

The response of pretense or faking is related to something like the use of headphones, but also with a typical component of agitated denial. Someone could put on blaring headphones and then shout at you this:“no, I do not hear whatever nonsense you are talking about, and because I do not hear it (and I am afraid to even address the subject at all), then I will ferociously ridicule you or anyone else who confronts me with that subject. Stop talking about it! Afraid? WHAT?!?! No, I am not afraid of talking about it. YOU are the source of the disturbance, (not the thing that you claim exists which I am terrified to face). I only have my fingers in my ears because I have been trying to clean out some wax which is preventing me from hearing, so therefore anything that I do not hear cannot exist.”

We can imagine the stress (distress) that someone must be experiencing for them to respond with so much resistance to even considering a subject. They may be so paranoid of a topic that they dismiss it as paranoia, as nonsense, or as a conspiracy theory.


Of course, many theories of conspiracy are imprecise or even totally false. However, it is a well-respected method of psychological warfare to promote paranoia in target populations, as well as to use campaigns of disinformation to confuse them, such as the famous story of Santa Claus.

In that case, naive children are systematically deceived, perhaps simply in order to efficiently train them to conform to behavioral norms of “being good.” When confronted with questions about Santa, some people may say “of course Santa is real. To even question otherwise is a paranoid conspiracy theory!”

So, it may be rare to possess the inner clarity and maturity to calmly face subjects that disgust or disturb the masses. We can recognize that many people are too terrified to admit that there could be several conspiracies to terrify them- not just a single, very distant enemy that it is popular for the masses to vilify intensely.

When immense publicity is focused on a particular threat, that can be a case of scapegoating. That means an innocent party is accused of an incident that actually happened. Typically, the most intense scapegoating can be expected from the party actually responsible for the actual incident. (A distinct form of “psychological warfare” would be something like the Gulf of Tonkin “incident” in which a false report of an attack- which apparently never happened- was allegedly concocted and then widely publicized to attract US public support of a military invasion of Vietnam by the US).

Now, with the issue of scapegoating in mind, consider the “coincidence theory” of the attacks of 9/11/2001. I have never heard those attacks called anything but attacks. Planes occasionally crash in to a building (though not usually the Pentagon). Is a plane crash ever simply an accident?

However, who seriously thinks that it was just a coincidence that in a few hours of 9/11/2001, there was a crashing of several planes and collapsing of 3 buildings? There is general agreement that these were intentional, coordinated attacks and that there was a very formal conspiracy to keep the attacks secret in advance.

So, the mainstream media presents a specific conspiracy theory. They may repeat it frequently. They may provide a huge body of evidence, such as satellite images that Colin Powell insists are proof of whatever he insists the images prove.

When Colin Powell asserts a conspiracy theory, is it dismissed by the masses as absurd paranoia? Or, are the masses merely cautiously skeptical of his insistence that there may have been a conspiracy?

In fact, what anyone can observe is that those who have a sense of confidence in (and even loyalty to) the mainstream media may reactively resist anything that has not been given lots of publicity by the mainstream media. Further, anything publicized widely through the mainstream media (even conspiracy theories like those of Colin Powell) may be presumed accurate by the masses. The idea that governments ever keep secrets from the masses is obviously an idea that some people will find repulsive (terrifying).

Why so much confidence in the mainstream media? Why so much resistance to questions of the accuracy or even the bias of parties such as Colin Powell or NBC or CNN?

Notice that different people have different responses to questions of the accuracy of the mainstream media. Some people may reactively defend the media as sincere, with the idea being that their sincerity is more important than their accuracy (…but more important to whom?).

Others may attack the questioner, behaving with disgust or other forms of intense emotional disturbance. Some may simply withdraw quietly (especially if the questioning is isolated rather than aggressive, nagging, or predatory). Others may ridicule openly or privately. Some will be mildly curious (again, openly or privately). A few may be quite inspired by the intelligence displayed in the questioning process.

However, intelligence can be a dangerous thing to openly display. Many people may find it threatening. A herd of blind people are rightly concerned if they suspect someone of having the capacity for vision, right? Likewise, a herd of deaf people are rightly concerned if they suspect someone of having the capacity for hearing. The ones without perception may not know exactly what is going on with the one(s) who seems to have so much more perceptiveness and sensitivity then everyone else, but they will either attack that party… or worship them (as in follow them anywhere… blindly of course).

So, those who are most intelligent may be quite reserved about openly displaying their intelligence. They may even be secretive or dismissive of “accusations” of above average intelligence.

That is why I believe in Santa Claus (and of course I deny accusations that Santa is actually ME). I believe completely in Santa, don’t you?

At least that may be what I say (or imply) to 3 year-olds who ask me about Santa. Why would I ever deceive them? Because that may be more attractive to me than arguing with a bunch of crying 3 year-olds who are throwing tantrums because I have questioned their most sacred idolatries, their most desperate presumptions, their most intense fixations of so-
called “science.”

If someone has no great interest in the 3 year-olds, then to deceive them may be convenient. In keeping secrets from them, it may be convenient to publicize ideas that produce a resistance in the masses to perceiving what is otherwise obvious. Further, I may have higher priorities than assisting a 3 year old through the potentially intense emotional transition of recognizing that their parents and many other adults have systematically deceived them.

However, the mainstream media would never intentionally deceive people. That is why all works of fiction are banned from mainstream media- because it is so important to the mainstream media to present to the public an appearance of sincerity. If Santa Claus is on TV, then that alone establishes that Santa is not fiction, right?

When actors are hired to pretend to like some product (while they are recorded for a commercial advertisement), that is not fiction. That is why, when hiring actors, the casting director always asks “do you really like the thing that we are paying you to pretend to like?”

Colin Powell presents evidence
Therefore, I wholeheartedly believe the conspiracy theories presented by Colin Powell about incidents like 9/11. Further, I find it quite offensive when people make reference to the fact that certain statements of Colin Powell may have later been retracted by Colin Powell.

That was probably just due to the influence of lobbyists who wanted to make him look bad. They are trying to bias the perceptions formed by the public. They are just trying to undermine the credibility of the mainstream media, which everyone knows is infallible. Death to the infidels.

Influencing the attention of the public is not what the media exists to do. They should not be a system for propaganda and indoctrination, which means that they obviously are not and never will be because that is simply impossible, which is also why we have government agencies in place to make sure that the media never presents anything that the governing agency finds objectionable.

Obviously, the media does not influence the public’s attention, nor the public’s perceptions, nor the public’s behaviors. That is why commercial advertisers pay the media tremendous sums of money: to avoid biasing the attention of the public (what they find attractive or repulsive, what they will worry or agonize about, and what they will be so terrified of that they reject as conspiracy paranoia).

Because reverse psychology does not exist, the mainstream media keeps us safe from psychological warfare. To the extent that there is even such a thing as public schools or churches, as some paranoid conspiracy theorists claim, these institutions either protect us from the corrupting influence of the mainstream media… or are the corrupting influence from which the mainstream media protects us.

Language does not have any power nor any purpose. These sequences of shapes on your screen are not letters. They do not form words. They are just random accidental shapes of total nonsense.

Why? It is not because these shapes on your screen frighten me. Don’t be silly. I am beyond fear. They are just inherently symbolic codes of gibberish which only mean exactly what I insist that they mean, to the extent that I comprehend them at all.

If I am terrified of the ideas presented here, I can attack them, forget them, worry about them, or pretend not to notice them at all. To the extent that these shapes are in fact shapes, that is probably just a reason for me to feel compelled to share them with everyone (yes, all at once) in order to personally save humanity from language, sin, pretense, naivete, sincerity, and the idea of salvation.

If I fail to have already saved all of humanity from paranoia, attraction, and repulsion, then I will probably be either very relieved or very tense. Finally, because reverse psychology not only does not exist but cannot exist, we must prevent it from ruining everything.

Some conspiracy theorists claim that the accurate perception of danger is paranoia as long as the danger is persistent. Paranoid delusions, which are totally distinct from paranoia itself, are intellectual justifications for maintaining some sacred pretense. “Here is the reason that I will hysterically cling to my pre-existing notion, which comforts my suppressed terror: ________!”

In summary, people should not be paranoid. People should fear fear itself, which is not the definition of paranoia. Paranoia is being totally grateful for the function of perceiving potential threats, also known by some intellectuals as fear, which does not exist because it should not exist, (according to the 49th chapter of the Gospel of John Kennedy, verses 4-7).

I am totally beyond paranoia, which is why I so violently react when people suggest that I might be paranoid. That is false.

I insist that it is a bad thing and that I am beyond it because I am very spiritually advanced. All people who are very spiritually advanced insist that paranoia is very bad thing, which is why it should be avoided, forbidden, and made in to a taboo.

I do not want to be around negative people. I do not want to be called a negative person. I do not want other people to be able to even accuse me (based on their totally inaccurate paranoid delusions) of being afraid or paranoid.

I am incapable of those negative, evil responses because I am very spiritually advanced (like that one statue of a famous dead person- haven’t you ever noticed how calm that statue is all the time, like for instance when there is an earthquake and everyone else is hysterically panicking while the statue just calmly stands there until the earthquake breaks the statue in to a pile of dust and buries it for 4,000 years until some anthropologists come along and get very excited because they have finally discovered signs of intelligent life on this planet).

Do not talk about it. Do not think about it. Do not put a picture of it on your wall.

Stay away from anything that scares anyone. It is only polite.

Are there homophobics on your planet? Then do not even think about someone you know having homosexual intercourse with a famous politician. Never gonna happen. Why even bother thinking of it now, then thinking of it again and again and again…?

Are there people scared of spiders where you live? Then do not use that word- or at least not out loud in public. If you ever start to say that word, here is a great hint: put the word “man” at the end of the word spider. Then, people will think that you are talking about a superhero, not a type of insect.

Make a comprehensive list of everything that anyone anywhere has ever been afraid of already (or may in the future). Then, carefully avoid all of those things. That is the only way that you will ever get in to heaven, which the one place that you know you should be obsessing about all the time, though not out of paranoia of course, because that would be a violation of regulation 23 – Z – 9, which clearly states that people who are even accused of being obsessively paranoid will be denied entry in to heaven by Santa Claus, forcing them to live for eternity in hell, which is the place where perfectionists practice how to agonize the best way until they really finally get it right.

From the tension of chronic paranoia to a permanent placebo effect

November 27, 2013
There is a vast system in our midst. The system programs the masses to (1) value the approval of the system and (2) to perceive that the system rejects them personally.
Chronic Disease

Chronic Disease (Photo credit: tamahaji)

These two concepts together produce chronic tension. Either one alone would be not produce the tension that they produce together.
Consider that if a person travels to another culture and the people in that culture all respond unfavorably to “reaching out to shake hands with the right hand,” the visitor may be surprised, but does not take it personally. They just use their left hand (or whatever) and there is no forming of a structure of chronic tension. The visitor also may not have any special concern for learning “what is approved in this foreign system.”
In contrast, consider the person who is so thoroughly rejected by “their own system” that they stop valuing the approval of the system. They may say “The mainstream people have been programmed, sheltered, and spoiled. They have been made naive, distracted, deluded, paranoid, and confused. The system does NOT have any personal interest in me (or any particular individual) or in what is good for an individual.”
Medicine

Medicine (Photo credit: miragechopin)

Various systems target the masses in various ways. Sexual repression of the adults is a priority in many systems. In some systems, programs for the indoctrinating of all youth are mandatory and regulated by the government, or even funded directly by government, or, in the extreme, even operated directly by government.
For those who previously attended public schools, we may notice that the system (and the agents of the system) seemed to be much more interested in us in our youth. We may think “the system does not even care about me at all anymore,” and then display disappointment as we complain about how the system is, allegedly, how it should not be.
We may grieve for the loss of the structured life that was familiar as a student. We may even chase for the attention of the court system. “Do you people even care about me at all anymore?”
Our grief may form in to protests and grievances and grudges and contempt. “The President should be more interested in my opinion! The only time I even get a letter from the President is before elections! Also, the Governor and the Judges and the cops should form a team to mentor me personally. They should assign me two social workers and five medical specialists to help me with my very interesting situation. (Obviously, someone else will be paying for all of this, right?)”
Chronic myelogenous leukemia

Chronic myelogenous leukemia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, instead of perceiving the inattention of the system as freedom, some perceive it as rejection. “I need the approval of the system!”
What if, instead of focusing on reforming the system (or condemning it), I focus on saving everyone else from the system? Well, that is still about obtaining their approval and agreement so that I can appease my own insecurities.
What if I notice the chronic tensions which the system has programmed in to me and begin to experiment with them in the direction of relaxing the muscles and the paranoid monologue that has been sustaining the chronic tensions? What if I experienced a permanent placebo effect… as energy stopped being used for crippling me with chronic tensions and instead I started to respect my immune systems rather than suppress it with medication whenever it starts to be active?
Chronic ulcerative panniculitis in a cat with ...

Chronic ulcerative panniculitis in a cat with Actinomycosis (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How much additional energy would I experience? How much additional physical health would I experience? How many times would I notice some mainstream people in a panic of passionate arguing and think to myself: “oh my, what a huge waste of time it has been since I stopped throwing tantrums to convince everyone of my loyalty to the system? Instead of responding with terror to other people’s perspectives, what if I generally lost interest in other people’s attention? What if I was only interested in other people’s attention in very specific ways? Or, what if I became very interested in my relations with specific people (rather than desperately chasing the approval of almost everyone)?”
That might be more relaxing than what I have done most of my life, right? That might be much simpler. That might be more healthy and more productive and more fulfilling.
Then again, would I be able to adjust to a lack of paranoia about whether I will go to heaven or hell when I die? Before being programmed to hysterically fear disapproval, how do all of these infants even live? How can they breathe without chronic tensions? How can they sleep so soundly? Finally, will Santa Claus still love me personally and bring me presents if I move out of my parent’s home in to my own place?

 

The perfectionist’s guilt: rejecting isolated portions of reality

October 10, 2013
The perfectionist’s guilt: rejecting isolated portions of reality

 

 

365 Project Day 43 BONUS: Inanimate Emotion - ...

365 Project Day 43 BONUS: Inanimate Emotion – Guilt (Photo credit: David Amaya HB)

 

 

I should probably apologize right from the beginning that this may not be exactly what you expected. In fact, if you are expecting anything that is not what this is, then I promise that this will not be exactly what you would have expected. Furthermore, the more precise your expectations, the more likely that reality will deviate from those expectations, right?

 

 

So, I’m sorry about the nature of expectations, which is that expectations can be imprecise. It is possible that you will either be disappointed or thrilled at what you experience next. I apologize for the uncertainty.

 

 

Inner Demon

Inner Demon (Photo credit: Antarehs)

 

 

Also, it is simply a fact that you will experience uncertainty in general as well as uncertain expectations in particular. At any moment in life, you could be surprisingly disappointed or surprisingly pleased. You might even find it a bit annoying that I keep emphasizing all of this now, right?

 

 

 

However, I begin very intentionally with these references to expectations and uncertainty. The future simply is uncertain. If you were expecting the future to eventually stop being uncertain, then I promise you that this will not make the uncertain future in to a totally certain future. If you would like for some specific aspect of the future to be certain, then you can promote that priority outcome yourself. I could guarantee it for you, but that might be a worthless guarantee.

 

 

 

But what if you were interested in life’s uncertainties? What if you were grateful that life was uncertain?

 

 

That would be a contrast to a state of paranoia. A state of paranoia is when there is a fear of the unknown future. Paranoia can be general or very specific- like a particular outcome could be the obsession, maybe even the expectation.

 

 

Humiliation no.138

Humiliation no.138 (Photo credit: dek dav)

 

 

Why do we ever relate to the unknown with fear? Why do we expect future problems and then obsess over avoiding those problems?

 

 

You might be surprised to learn that guilt is the answer. Guilt is the expectation of future humiliation. We could say that guilt is about an expectation of punishment or injury or expense, like being caught doing something and then being forced to pay a tax or a fine. However, the simple reality of guilt is that guilt is about a fear of an expected future experience of humiliation or shaming or even just regret– not the outcome itself, but the way we relate to the outcome.

 

 

A Celebration of Guilt

A Celebration of Guilt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

When we use the word guilt here, we mean the same as regret and remorse. All of that is about a fear of a future experience of humiliation. The expressing of regret is in fact an anticipatory humbling. Rather than wait for humiliation, one who is expressing regret is actively inviting the experience of humiliation and shaming.

 

 

“I am sorry that things were not exactly how they should have been. Life occasionally can violate someone’s expectations and so, on behalf of life, I apologize for life ever forming expectations in you and then proceeding to violate those expectations in some small way or large way.”

 

 

 

Can we bring curiosity with us as we explore the subject of guilt? A perfectionist may be said to seek to avoid guilt (by making even the smallest error which could disappoint others and then attract anger and shaming and humiliation).

 

 

A perfectionist can distract people from what the perfectionist perceives as short-comings. How?

The perfectionist can divert attention from regrets in at least two ways. By addictively focusing on some diversions, the guilty perfectionist can distract others from guilt. Or, the guilty perfectionist can acknowledge the regrets, but then divert attention from the regret itself by justifying the gap between reality and whatever ideals are presented as more important than the reality itself.

 

 

A very popular form of diverting attention from the subject of regret is by vilifying or blaming or scapegoating some external cause. The target of blame can be some natural reality, such as the weather, or it can be a particular person or group of people. All of that is merely to avoid humiliation.

 

 

you're shaking with guilt

you’re shaking with guilt (Photo credit: JenavieveMarie)

 

 

What about jealousy? In jealousy, I do not like that someone else has some experience that I imagine I would like. I regret that I do not have it. I am reminded of my guilt by them.

 

 

I may have been trying very hard to divert myself and to pretend not to be interested in whatever experience that I imagine that I would like (that I am attracted to). So, then along comes someone who reminds me unexpectedly of the desire that I have been denying or rejecting or avoiding. What happens?

 

 

I feel jealous toward them. I condemn them. I explain why they do not really deserve it. I say that they are the reason that my life is not how I say it should be. I say that my regrets are their fault. I say that they are guilty (or should be)!

 

 

Guilt (The Long Blondes song)

Guilt (The Long Blondes song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Why? Because I was already guilty before they came in to my attention, when I was overwhelmed by an uncertain future that I had been avoiding: the experience of attraction for some outcome that I imagine I would value.

 

 

However, I had been trying to distract myself from my desire- and succeeding- until they came in to my attention and exposed me to my disappointment, my own humiliation. So, I hate them for it. I am jealous. I blame them for my anger and disappointment and guilt and of course for making me jealous.

 

 

“They should not have made me jealous! It was their fault that I felt so jealous. If it was not for them, I would have been totally fine. Before they ruined everything, I would just have continued to distract myself from my paranoia about avoiding a particular uncertain future that I have been expecting!”

 

 

 

 

So, maybe I experienced something in the past that frightened me. Maybe I was so frightened by something that I did not ever explain it to other people. Maybe I was shocked, startled, horrified, terrified of talking, or simply did not know how to explain it, how to make someone else understand. Maybe I was paranoid about even talking about it.

 

 

Then, someone else came in to my attention and they were either talking about that isolated subject which I had been trying to avoid or- even worse- I knew that they knew about the subject that I was trying to avoid and I did not want to risk being around them. I was ashamed. I was shy. I was scared that they might start talking about the thing I have been concentrating on avoiding.

 

 

I rejected isolated portions of reality because of an expectation of future humiliation if an avoided subject came to attention. A terrifying subject could be directly referenced. A humiliating experience could happen in the uncertain future.

 

 

 

“How can I control my future to avoid humiliation? What is the best way to be paranoid?” These were the kinds of questions and thoughts that I experienced.

 

 

“I wish that I had never experienced guilt. I should not have ever experienced guilt. That is wrong. That is shameful. That was humiliating. That was terrifying. I prefer to avoid the subject totally!”

 

 

The Guilt of Janet Ames

The Guilt of Janet Ames (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

“Therefore, I reject the isolated portion of reality called the experience of guilt. I do not like it. I hate it. I am jealous of people who are not as paranoid as I am. I blame them for making me this paranoid. I blame them for making me hate life and addictively divert myself from some isolated portion of reality and being jealous of others.”

 

 

“It is their fault that I am jealous of them. I blame them for my jealousy. They should not be so much less jealous than I am. They should not be so much less paranoid than I am. They should not be so much less blameful than I am. They should not be so much less guilty. They should not be so much less regretful. They deserve to be punished!”

 

 

 

Did I mention that I am a very grateful person? I am grateful for many, many things. For instance, I am grateful that I am not horrible like certain other people. They are so ungrateful. They really should not be so ungrateful!

 

 

Oh, and did I mention that I am a very forgiving person? I have forgiven other people for some really horrible things that they obviously should not have done. I do not withdraw my condemnation of what they did, though. I just pretend not to have contempt for them because I prefer to pretend that I am a very forgiving person. You like me because I am so forgiving right?

 

 

Oo, and did I mention that I am not at all interested in other people’s approval? Yes, that is one of the very best things about me, don’t you agree?

 

 

 

What else? Okay, there is also that I am extremely humble.

 

 

Yes, and that may remind you of some people that could learn a thing or two about humility from me. They are just way too arrogant and proud, unlike me. Remember, I am very humble.

 

 

 

Also, some people are just not very sincere about being a perfectionist. They are relaxed and accepting of others and so pleasant to be around that I can almost tolerate their presence, but not quite. They are not perfectionist enough- far too content and grateful and mostly just focused on quietly promoting their own interests.

 

 

But I am not jealous of them. No, I am not that kind of a person. I only condemn them because they are wrong and so they deserve it.

They really should not be like that. Anyway, I would certainly never want to be like that. It must be simply horrible. No, I prefer being how I am, which is a humble, forgiving, grateful person who is not at all jealous.

 

 

The Architects of Guilt

The Architects of Guilt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

But I am not paranoid about disappointing other people and getting humiliated by them. No, I am just a perfectionist. That is totally different.

 

 

Perfectionists are the very best kind of people, don’t you agree with me? For one thing, we do not care at all about other people’s approval, right, don’t you agree with me? You do agree with me right, don’t you?

 

 

 

I am only asking because some people are very bad. They do not agree with me amd sometimes even say so. I have to avoid them so that they do not infect me with their paranoid negativity.

Obviously, I must condemn them (and you really should as well). I have the fitting amount of contempt for them.

 

 

But I am not jealous, right? You do agree with me, right? You don’t disagree with me, do you?

 

 

 

I only ask because some people, who are compulsively paranoid about other people’s opinions, can be very annoying. Anyway, like I said at the beginning, if this in any way diverged from precisely what you were expecting, then I apologize for either disappointing you or intriguing you. From this moment forward, I can promise you that the future will not ever contain anything unexpected, and that is going to be quite a relief.

 

 

Not that you were paranoid about the future before. That’s not what I was saying at all.  I’m sure you were already completely open to all portions of reality.

 

 

You probably cannot even relate to any of the content of this. I’m sorry to have distracted you with it. I apologize. Again, you must be very disappointed.

 

 

In fact, I should not have said any of this. I really regret it now. I only wish that I could take it back somehow or maybe I could make it up to you.

 

 

 

But I am not argumentative or antagonistic. No, why would you even say that? That is totally ridiculous. I should have known….

 

 

Yeah, I should have known that you were just like all the rest. I can’t believe that I was so stupid to let you lure me in to telling you any of this. You are probably going to betray me or maybe even accuse me of being paranoid about agonizing about which is the best way to avoid some isolated portions of reality in the future. That is not like me at all. You do not even know me!

 

 

White Guilt (song)

White Guilt (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

I can’t believe how wrong you are. I just can’t believe it! This is all my fault. I regret it completely. Plus, if it was not for you, then it would not be all my fault. Yeah, the only reason that it is all my fault is because of you.

 

 

For instance, before you came along, I was a very forgiving person! I was so grateful and happy and my expectations were always a perfect match for reality. Then, in total contrast to everything that ever happened before I met you, you ruined everything by causing me to feel guilty for everything being all my fault.

 

 

I’m sorry I ever met you. I’m sad and sorrowful and disappointed and grieving. Plus, I shouldn’t be. I regret ever feeling guilt about having remorse for feeling sorrow about feeling sorry about feeling regret about not apologizing to you in advance in exactly the right way.

 

 

 

This was the most frustrating thing that I have ever experienced. I hated every moment of it. I barely made it to the end. I found the entire thing incredibly tedious and boring.

What was it even about? What was the point?

 

 

Was there even any point at all? I didn’t notice any, and I’m sure you agree with me.

 

 

 

You do agree with me that I am sure you agree, right? You don’t disagree with me about me being certain do you? I’m not confused, though, because I am just not that kind of person.

 

 

Wow, you don’t even know me, do you? Look, just forget that I ever mentioned any of this to you at all.

 

 

 

By the way, normally, I’m not like this at all. I’m always a very confident person.

 

 

For example, I can’t believe that people think I even care what they think. I mean, why would they think that? I don’t even notice what other people think, do I? Are you even listening?

 

 

In case you were not paying close enough attention to me, what I said is that I do not care what people think. What do you think of that?

 

 

Punk Rock Guilt

Punk Rock Guilt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

You do agree, don’t you? I’m always a very confident person normally, right? Aren’t I? You don’t seriously think that I care what other people think, do you?

 

 

Why would I? Why should I? No, I am the very best kind of person, which is obviously a perfectionist.

 

 

But I’m not idealistic. I am not like that at all. I am simply exactly how I should be and not at all how I should not be.

 

 

 

That’s it. That’s all. Of course, you do agree with me, right? It’s just so obvious, right?

 

 

Right! Yes! That is what I have been trying to tell you! That’s good. That’s exactly the answer that I was looking for.

Anyway, it’s so annoying when foolish people perceive things that are not what I want them to perceive, right? Seriously? Don’t you just hate that, too? That’s just so BORING, right?

 

 

 

Thank you for agreeing with me that I do not even care what anyone else thinks. That is very reassuring. I am so grateful for your validation and approval. That really makes me feel… special. Again, thank you very much.

 

 

Thank you. That’s really sweet of you. You’re not just saying that right? Do you really think so?

 

 

Wow- that is just so sweet of you. You are really just amazingly perceptive. Thanks again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude, Fear, and Courage: Arch-Enemies or Allies?

March 20, 2013
Gratitude, Fear, and Courage: Arch-Enemies or Allies?
 
Official photographic portrait of US President...

Official photographic portrait of US President Barack Obama (born 4 August 1961; assumed office 20 January 2009) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 
First, you should not ever be grateful. For one thing, being grateful can make other people feel envy, and, if there is one thing that you do not want to happen, it is for other people to envy you. After all, they may do like Cain did to his brother Abel and just sneak up on you one day and gently convince you that eating grains (especially the highly-processed oils from certain seed grains) are at least as valuable and precious as the fat of a very healthy lamb… even if eating those grains often leads to irritability, neurological inflammation, frustration, yeast infections, bloating from all of the gas of that fungus (yeast is a type of fungus), abdominal pain from the bloating, emotional over-reaction, lasting resentments, mental illness, envy, animosity, rage, and then of course conducting ritual human sacrifices through public political assassinations, right?
 
Now, that was a bit complex, so let’s simplify a bit. The point of all that above is that one option in life is to be in a constant state of fear, of anxiety, of hysteria. Do I really think that you should be paranoid about being too grateful? Well, maybe I do not really care at the moment whether or not you are paranoid about anything or not. Maybe it is not a problem to me if you are paranoid and yet not a problem to me if you are not paranoid (like not in a state of ongoing dread, worry, or “dis-ease“). 
 
Maybe you are relaxed and at ease and in peace. Or, maybe you are practicing the activity of agonizing to sustain a hysterical panic about which problems to have and which possible solutions to chase after desperately in order to escape from being too paranoid or too fat or too skinny or not paranoid enough… or whatever little neurotic, psychotic addiction you have identified as the most important to you as of right now. 
 
Franklin D. Roosevelt after giving one of his ...

Franklin D. Roosevelt after giving one of his fireside chats. The predecessor to the Weekly Address. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 
If you like to believe that gratitude is dangerous, that is fine with me. Sometimes, it could be favorable to keep your gratitude private. Maybe you should even hide from yourself what you value most. Or, maybe fearing gratitude is evil and must be eradicated from the planet by going door to door and killing everyone who might in the future ever fear gratitude.
 
Gratitude is one possible experience. So is fear. If people fear expressing gratitude publicly, then it may be adaptive to actually suppress the conscious recognition of gratitude. The facial gestures of gratitude can be repressed. The tears of gratitude can be tightly prevented.
 
Also, you might fear being the recipient of an expression of gratitude. Public displays of gratitude could make grain-eaters like Cain very envious. You may favor being publicly dismissive of public displays of gratitude. You may favor appearing humble or even incompetent. Maybe you will go so far in the service of appearing incompetent that you will even take the actions of someone incompetent and thus sabotage your results.
 
Why? Well, be aware that it can be dangerous to be recognized as successful and prosperous and healthy. Your insane, grain-eating brother might concoct some justification to physically attack you, like because you ate a dead animal (and probably even killed it), so in order to prove that violence is morally wrong, your brother vilifies you and then tortures you with a whip and then kills you by nailing you to a cross and leaving you there for a few days until you die (because everyone knows that it takes a healthy person at least 24 hours to die from crucifixion, so anyone that was crucified late on Friday and then, after passing out, is removed from the cross that same evening would of course recover the ability to walk within, for instance, 3 days).
 
Masaccio, Crucifixion

Masaccio, Crucifixion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 
So, keep your gratitude very secret. Keep your wealth very secret. If other people are grateful of you, make sure it is all kept very secret. 
 
Secrecy can be very adaptive, right? You may even want to occasionally concoct distractions to help prevent attention to certain ridiculous fantasies that are absolutely not possible and thus anyone who suggests otherwise must be severely punished in order to make sure that everyone knows that all conspiracy theories are just ridiculous conspiracy theories (except if the US President shares a theory about a conspiracy involving the Iraqi Taliban blowing up 4 world trade center buildings, in which case the conspiracy is not a mythological fantasy, but a sacred dogma of the independent senate commission on scientific religion- not to be confused with the other senate commission that is influenced by political lobbying bribes and so on, but the other one… the totally independent one).
Adam & Eve

Adam & Eve (Photo credit: jimforest)

 
Now, if you ever feel startled or alerted or alarmed or scared or afraid, keep that secret. You must fear displaying fear to the public because the only thing that the US President has to fear is fear itself. Actually, because I am not the US President, but the one who guides things from behind the scenes like the director of a movie while the audience is attentive only to the actors who are not actors as they conform to the script which is not a script, I do not fear you experiencing fear itself. Really, consider that if I am producing a horror movie about a terrifying war on terror, it is fine with me if you experience fear- even desirable- yet you may want to suppress the facial gestures so that no one else knows that you are afraid of anything, including afraid of gratitude.
 
Fear is your enemy. Therefore, you must fear it.
Gratitude is also your enemy. In particular, do not ever be grateful for fear, because that can lead to courage, and every US President knows that the only thing that we have to fear is courage itself. However, if you ever do accidentally experience courage, be sure to keep it a secret!
 
English: U.S. President Barack Obama speaks to...

English: U.S. President Barack Obama speaks to the press the same day the White House released the long form of his birth certificate to dispel conspiracy theories surrounding his place of birth (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 
In conclusion, always eat a lot of grains because things like obesity, diabetes, and celiac disease are myths that the communist anti-communists have spread in order to make your neurological function extremely efficient and sharp and bright. You should never eat the fat of a healthy, first-born lamb because fat contains a lot of fat and if there is one thing that you do not want inside your body, it is any of the things that your body naturally makes, such as fat or blood or bones or cells or chemistry. 
 
In particular, do not gnaw on bones like dogs do because that can lead to the minerals in the bones attacking your stomach, causing it to have a lot of minerals in it which can lead to those minerals being distributed to other parts of your body, such as your bones. That is very bad. Having strong bones that are dense with the ideal proportions of minerals can lead directly to things like paranoia, dis-ease, and states of persistent mental anxiety, such as the quite rational fear of being killed by your envious, grain-eating brother, who probably is suffering from a deficiency in psychiatric pharmaceutical medications, which is very sad. So, if your brother is in denial about his deficiency, just get a court order or whatever and we can force him to avoid danger by fearing anything unusual.
 
Cain killing Abel

Cain killing Abel (Photo credit: jimforest)

If you ever shift your attention to something new and surprising and unfamiliar, like a startling sound that you did not specifically expect, please do not do that. Then, you must apologize. 
 
Do not be ever grateful for fear. Fear is not your ally. Fear is your arch-enemy (and so is any brain or nervous system that is capable of producing the hormonal state of fear through adrenalin and cortisol and so on).
To be honest, if you seriously ever are grateful for fear or even merely pretend to be, then I personally will promise that in the future I might not threaten you with punishments in order to teach you that fear should not exist. Reverse psychology, on the other hand, should exist, yet unfortunately it simply does not, if only because it cannot.
 
Temple of Horus: possibly reconstruction section

Temple of Horus: possibly reconstruction section (Photo credit: Penn State Libraries Pictures Collection)

Nazi Priests Salute Hitler

Nazi Priests Salute Hitler (Photo credit: fewsaved)

 

Now, let us prey. Heavenly Father, you alone are holy. We praise your Almighty, Eternal, Catholic Empire as we invoke this God spell according to the court-room ritual of the secret order of the Masonic Babylonian Talmud of the Rich Reich of His Royal Magi, King Rex the Righteous, asking these things in the precious name of the Society of Jesus, Amen-Ra!

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