Posts Tagged ‘negative’

The motivational value of emotions (and why emotions get suppressed)

November 14, 2015

My notes (on which the video lecture is based):

When do people have an issue with certain emotions that they label as negative? For a person who has been trained to inhibit the social display of certain emotions (out of terror of social punishment), then there will be an anxiety about showing certain emotions.

Instead of relating to fear as a motivating force to use caution and assess risk and then avoid any actual dangers, some people relate to fear as socially shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are afraid and so they don’t want people around them to display fear (because that might resonate with them and trigger a surfacing of their own suppressed insecurity). They fear a social recognition of their fear. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to disappointment as a motivating force to assess the purpose of one’s own actions and then to assess the effectiveness of one’s own methods and producing those results and then perhaps updating one’s methods, some people also relate to disappointment as shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are disappointed and they don’t want people around them to be disappointed, so they attempt to protect them from disappointment.

Why? They do not want to be punished for disappointing others and, once again, they don’t want displays of disappointment in their midst because that could resonate with their own buried disappointment, causing their own disappointment to surge to the surface. They fear a social recognition of their disappointment. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to anger as a motivating force to recognize one’s own interests and boundaries, finally, people may relate to anger as shameful or negative or disruptive. Anger, just like fear and disappointment, can certainly be disruptive. That is what it is for, right? When someone is ashamed of anger, they do not want to draw attention to themselves and become targets of social bullies who seek to discourage anger with punishment, through guilt trips and ridicule and harassment and of course the organized violence of armed soldiers, as in gangsters, police, armies, and other operations for governing humans through coercion.

Systems for social conditioning conduct rituals to promote shame and compliance in their targeted population of potential human resources (and to minimize or eliminate disruption to the rituals of social programming). In other words, they want to operate their systems for governing humans with the maximum amount of efficiency.
considering the military capacity of various systems that govern humans through coercion, we can respect the intelligence and appropriateness of the ability to inhibit the display of socially targeted emotions such as fear, disappointment, and anger.

We can also respect the rare case of people who seem to us to be safe as witnesses of our full range of emotions. Because of their demonstrations of discretion and perceptiveness and gentleness and communication with others, we made confide in them with comfort and an open trust. For many people, the distress of their paranoia and anxiety will result in them experiencing increased repulsion in regard to communicating with those that they see as unsafe or immature. In contrast, the magnetic appeal of those who demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness maybe, at least temporarily, so disruptive to their normal patterns of inhibiting their own emotions that they recognize their own internal instability and then have a new challenge of finding an appropriate pace for their interactions with the person or people that they find distinctively mature and trustworthy in regard to revealing their own tangles of emotion.

They may wish to drop everything to devote themselves to interacting with that person or those people. They may resist the magnetic attraction that they experience (like resisting by distracting themselves with old familiar habits of socializing and internal dialogue to generate justifications for any emotions that they experience as frighteningly disruptive). They may make their own practices of paranoia and anxiety all the more simple, ironic, and obvious (which serves to help them see it for themselves for what it is, similar to a snake gradually shedding a layer of skin).


Negativity is labeling ANYTHING “negative”

March 29, 2012

Negativity is labeling ANYTHING “negative.”

Icon for Template:Cognitive-psych-stub illustr...

Icon for Template:Cognitive-psych-stub illustrating classic Stroop test. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There may be a time for thinking positive thoughts, but there is a time for many other things as well, just as there are infinite ways to let someone know of love- even the raising of walls as levies, the abandoning of ships, the lifting of cars off of toddlers by 90 pound grandmothers, and perhaps even- given that parent history of … such things- the building and dropping of bombs. AS a former pacifist, that is an odd thing to write, but isn’t interesting how many negative thoughts it takes to declare something negative. What is negative about a lightning bolt, a hurricane, or a flood? What is negative about an explosion- whether of laughter or of popcorn in the microwave?

Consider that people who believe in negative things are people who are negative. How many infants do you know that believe that something around half of life is negative? How many unhappy people do you know that do not spend much of their life condemning much of their life- and the rest of life which they may not claim as their own: “no, that is the activity of the devil, of the negative people, of what should not be!”

a couple related blogs of mine:


Negate Negativity

Negate Negativity (Photo credit: cybertoad)

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parody: blame exhausts the naive

March 18, 2012
The exhaustion of blame?
Get Behind Me Satan

Image via Wikipedia

To all of my formerly favorite ladies (i.e. past romantic partners), I blamed you for ruining the perfect relationship that I pretended to have with you. You sucked at pretending. You should have been more pretensive and naive, you know, like me. Plus, you should not have been so truthful. You owed it to me to be a better liar, yes, so that our relationship would save my life from hell and be my bridge to heaven. I had a perfect plan for my own personal salvation, and then you personally failed me. You were such a huge disappointment, Plus, you personally are still Satan incarnate, yes, every single one of you. You betrayed me. Well, at least I was quite embarrassed at how things went with you.
To all the people that have lost any amount of net worth (prosperity) by not heeding my clear and repeated warnings about real estate markets and stock markets, I blamed you for not staying as wealthy as you were, by which I mean… not getting much more wealthy with me, by which I really mean… not making me wealthy. No, you are not Satan, but you sure did remind me of her a lot. You betrayed yourself. Plus, you should have been much smarter and responsible, you know, like me.
Actually, maybe I have been just a little pretensive, slightly idiotic and marginally irresponsible. That’s like being only slightly pregnant. So, what I really mean by this is that I have been investing– over and over and over again- in blame. See how conscious I am now?
Yes, I invested exactly how I did in various romantic relationships and various business prospects and opportunities, and now I appreciate learning through them with you, so thank you. I completely forgive you for being the way you obviously should not have been- well, at least, I am open to you earning my generous forgiveness from me eventually.
However, as for all that investing in blame: I admit that it was irresponsible and idiotic of me. I really should not have been so pretensive, idiotic and irresponsible… and naive. I’m totally to blame for that- totally.
The Fountain of Eternal Life in downtown Cleve...

The Fountain of Eternal Life in downtown Cleveland, Ohio, with 200 Public Square in the background (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I mean: it’s just horrible how I was to me. Plus, I totally blame myself for blaming myself.

I was way too self-destructive. I was way too negative. I really should not have been so much like I have been. Plus, I should really stop being so hard on myself, you know, hypothetically. I should really stop judging me, you know, someday. That reminds me: I’m really stating to remind me of Satan, huh?
By the way, to all the beliefs I have had about how life should be different from how it is, I blamed you for me believing in you. You are the reasons that I have been addicted to all that drama. Plus, I can’t wait to get rid of you so I can get to heaven, you know, soon.
What? Do I still believe that this is hell? Are you kidding me? Of course this is hell! Just look around, seriously.
Here is proof. Ready? Okay, everywhere you look, there is another Satan, there is more evil, there are new things being how they obviously should not be. Am I right or what?
Oh, and people are so ashamed and resentful and way way way too negative. Life is fundamentally annoying. I had a perfect life basically right up until my life started.

That’s right. Everything was perfect until that one thing happened… and you know the thing that I am talking about- or at least you should. Anyway, as I was saying… before anything happened to me, then obviously nothing bad had ever happened to me because

The Great Satan (by Latuff).

Image via Wikipedia

nothing at all had happened to me.

Back then, hell did not even exist. Hell is when life seems to happen to me. Wherever I am, there is hell- kind of like my own shadow,- can you hear what I am saying?
Who I am is a collection of beliefs of how life should be, how I should be, how I actually am, you know- as distinct from how I am obviously not. Hell is the linguistic separation of everything into these two inherent fundamental unquestionable categories: me over here and my life over there.

All I am saying is that my life is hell. I’m perfect. My life, though… it’s hell. If it wasn’t for how amazing I am, I probably would not

This Is Not Happening
Image via Wikipedia

have even survived this long, you know, with my life happening to me like that.

But I know that I should not be proud. I should be humble. Basically, I should be how I should be, you know what I’m saying? Plus, I should not be so much like how I should not be- obviously!
It’s a very serious problem. I’m working on it.
I’m thinking that I should have me fixed by sometime next week; yeah, let’s go with Tuesday at noon (local time). I sure hope though that I do not disappoint me again. That would really suck, huh?
So, my life is what seems to be a series of problems happening to me. Living does not require me to be here at all. However, clearly, obviously, living is here, aren’t we?
When I personally am not here, living just keeps going on by itself, you know, like it always has been. When the personal identity is absent- or, we could say, when the ego dies (or matures?) – then eternal life is happening already, which would make sense for anything that we might call eternal. If eternity has not already started, then that would just be silly.
However eternal life is not happening at any particular time. Also, eternal life is not happening to anyone in particular. When no one is here, eternal life is obviously happening the only time it ever always is: right now.
Typing happens. Reading happens. Scrolling the window down the webpage happens. Then something else happens… anything else, one thing at a time.
Living happens. Living just happens however it is actually happening, whenever it does, wherever it does, even perhaps sometimes as an identity that identifies itself in opposition to life itself and says “life is happening to me.” At least, that is certainly possible.
So, no one is here, except of course if someone suddenly shows up. I sure hope that doesn’t happen to any of us, though. That would just be hell, you know, hypothetically. We really should take some serious precautions to avoid that.
And when you read the word “precautions,” I know what you were thinking, because I know that you have a dirty mind. You read the word “precautions” and then you immediately thought: condoms.
That is not what I typed, though. Would you please PLEASE stop being so presumptive and… and, you know, dramatic! It’s totally making my perfect life hell.

Image via Wikipedia

You do know that everything would be totally heaven if it just wasn’t for you showing up all uninvited like this, right? You’re Satan. Plus, as if that were not bad enough, you have a very dirty mind.
I wish, you know.. basically you should just lighten up! Everything would be fine then, you know, soon.
The above was published in the first hours of December 4, 2009, as a culmination of sorts of this “happening” of September 9, 2009:

Soon (Bridge to Heaven)


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