Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

The motivational value of emotions (and why emotions get suppressed)

November 14, 2015

My notes (on which the video lecture is based):

When do people have an issue with certain emotions that they label as negative? For a person who has been trained to inhibit the social display of certain emotions (out of terror of social punishment), then there will be an anxiety about showing certain emotions.

Instead of relating to fear as a motivating force to use caution and assess risk and then avoid any actual dangers, some people relate to fear as socially shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are afraid and so they don’t want people around them to display fear (because that might resonate with them and trigger a surfacing of their own suppressed insecurity). They fear a social recognition of their fear. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to disappointment as a motivating force to assess the purpose of one’s own actions and then to assess the effectiveness of one’s own methods and producing those results and then perhaps updating one’s methods, some people also relate to disappointment as shameful. They don’t want other people to know when they are disappointed and they don’t want people around them to be disappointed, so they attempt to protect them from disappointment.

Why? They do not want to be punished for disappointing others and, once again, they don’t want displays of disappointment in their midst because that could resonate with their own buried disappointment, causing their own disappointment to surge to the surface. They fear a social recognition of their disappointment. They are paranoid and anxious, but attempt to hide it.

Instead of relating to anger as a motivating force to recognize one’s own interests and boundaries, finally, people may relate to anger as shameful or negative or disruptive. Anger, just like fear and disappointment, can certainly be disruptive. That is what it is for, right? When someone is ashamed of anger, they do not want to draw attention to themselves and become targets of social bullies who seek to discourage anger with punishment, through guilt trips and ridicule and harassment and of course the organized violence of armed soldiers, as in gangsters, police, armies, and other operations for governing humans through coercion.

Systems for social conditioning conduct rituals to promote shame and compliance in their targeted population of potential human resources (and to minimize or eliminate disruption to the rituals of social programming). In other words, they want to operate their systems for governing humans with the maximum amount of efficiency.
considering the military capacity of various systems that govern humans through coercion, we can respect the intelligence and appropriateness of the ability to inhibit the display of socially targeted emotions such as fear, disappointment, and anger.

We can also respect the rare case of people who seem to us to be safe as witnesses of our full range of emotions. Because of their demonstrations of discretion and perceptiveness and gentleness and communication with others, we made confide in them with comfort and an open trust. For many people, the distress of their paranoia and anxiety will result in them experiencing increased repulsion in regard to communicating with those that they see as unsafe or immature. In contrast, the magnetic appeal of those who demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness maybe, at least temporarily, so disruptive to their normal patterns of inhibiting their own emotions that they recognize their own internal instability and then have a new challenge of finding an appropriate pace for their interactions with the person or people that they find distinctively mature and trustworthy in regard to revealing their own tangles of emotion.

They may wish to drop everything to devote themselves to interacting with that person or those people. They may resist the magnetic attraction that they experience (like resisting by distracting themselves with old familiar habits of socializing and internal dialogue to generate justifications for any emotions that they experience as frighteningly disruptive). They may make their own practices of paranoia and anxiety all the more simple, ironic, and obvious (which serves to help them see it for themselves for what it is, similar to a snake gradually shedding a layer of skin).

Celebrating fear (and delusional hysterias about fear)

February 17, 2015

Isn’t hysterical fear the only thing that would ever drive people to want to “eliminate fear from their lives?”

Fear is what keeps you in your lane while driving. Stress hormones are designed for a wonderful purpose: to suddenly shift your focus to something that is potentially a very urgent priority in that moment.

In a culture of extreme hysteria, a strange thing can happen which is that people get so ashamed about ever displaying fear that they condemn it. They may say they are condemning the “foolishness of fear itself” but they are really condemning the display of fear.

Why do they react with such aloof paranoia if someone- maybe even a dog or a child- displays caution or fear? Because they are investing a lot of energy in to repressing their own latent anxiety and if someone else displays fear around them, that can trigger a cracking open of their dam to hide fear. They may panic.

So, maybe they join a Unity Church (I did) as they isolate themselves from “negative people” who are “too afraid.” Plus, that coping mechanism can actually benefit them to get to the point of less stress and eventually calming down from the various mainstream hysterias popular in a culture (even subtle, conceptual things like “a fear of inequality” or “a fear of injustice”).

As for the statement by New Age Guru Louise Hay about relaxing, I agree that people who have been experiencing a lot of tension can benefit from things like “breathing peacefully” (in contrast to the normal breathing rate of most people which is typically TWICE as much as ideal). However, saying “I am safe and secure” does not buckle your seatbelt or lock your door.

When people’s self-interest has been effectively confounded by social conditioning, then they “have no clear direction.” In that case, fear does not help move them toward a goal because they have no beacon.

Once the target is clear (like “I want to travel to a higher elevation immediately”), then when the flood comes, fear creates action. People who do not fear tsunamis or hurricanes because they chant “I am safe and secure” are delusional. Delusional disassociation is, once again, an amazing coping mechanism that works very well in some situations, but not all.

Why will you probably refill your gas tank sometime in the future? It might be because you are afraid of running out of gas.

On the best way to agonize

February 3, 2015


Consider that agonizing could be an interesting pattern of behavior. It would be most interesting to those who are experienced with it and/or who frequently witness it practiced by people of importance to the observer.

I mentioned that agonizing is a behavior. Agonizing involves words and verbal concepts, so that means that agonizing is one type of linguistic behavior.

Agonizing can be categorized as a type of distress, a mild form of hysteria, or even a borderline form of panic. So, the WAY that language is used when agonizing can be very limited and also notably inattentive.

Agonizing has a specific purpose, which is to interrupt prior momentums of activity. It does that quite well. For most any other purpose, it is entirely inappropriate, ineffective, and disappointing.

So, it can be important to understand agonizing and how it works. Since the behavior of agonizing can build in to a tremendous momentum, it can also be intriguing to know how to notice it early and interrupt it effectively, whether momentarily or completely.

One of the most common forms of agonizing is the formation of a dilemma. Two options that are understood to be exclusive (as “either/or” alternatives) are contemplated with a general mode of anxiety.

Note that agonizing produces increases in anxiety, even to the point of agony (which is the root word of AGONizing). Again, that agony can serve a valuable purpose of interrupting existing patterns of behavior and avoiding almost all new explorations- except for those that relate to the specific targets of attention within the behavior of agonizing with language.

When does agonizing arise? When there is a perception of potentially extreme risk without a clear assessment of the exact risk level(s), that is the essential condition which can lead to the behavior of agonizing.

Agonizing typically involves speculating about possible risks. The primary alleged risks identified in the agonizing may not be the real concerns of the one agonizing. However, the issue of “assessing risk before proceeding” is generally the basic issue in question, even if there is some imprecision about the sources of potential risk.

The agonizing could be considered a type of stalling or resisting. Agonizing can also be “mimicked” in order to justify a withdrawal from existing activities (which one may prefer not to directly identify as unappealing). There can be a real experience of distress, then an invention about some trivial dilemma as a justification for the distress. Further, the stated dilemma may not seem trivial to the one who invented it.

The language of the agonizing may be quite hysterical (and off-target / out-of-focus). A “ritual of confusion” (or other excuses) can be an important part of the coping behavior of agonizing.

In the most intense cases of agonizing, there is no blurring of the issues. The blurring is to perpetuate mild states of anxiety (without any other action) through frequent agonizing. As a state of actual panic is approached, a single dilemma may come in to focus with two very specific alternatives: “either this or that!”

So, with agonizing, there is a concern about possible risks. “What cautions should be exercised? What clarification should be sought? What pace is appropriate?”

Doing nothing may seem risky, but the action or actions under consideration may also seem risky. Can the risk levels be measured (as in compared to each other) and even reduced?

In interacting with someone who is practicing the behavior of agonizing, a few alternatives are possible. There is a common tactic of invalidating the agonizing, including through the use of what amounts to deception: “I am sure that everything is fine.” Of course, this can be favorable for momentarily calming down a person who has been agonizing (or if the intent is to distract them from ever attentively assessing risk, like by shaming them for their concern or caution).

Another tactic is to respect the basic concerns of the agonizing, but specifically invite a higher degree of precision and calm and focus. That validates the purpose but challenges the specific method of anxious panics of mental speculation. “If there are risks, then that would make sense to know in advance, so let’s find out together, okay?”

Another tactic is to increase the experience of fear in relation to one of the possible options. In many cases, an observer may encourage less assessment and more outward activity (adding their own distressed rage to spark a panic): “Stop just sitting there and do SOMETHING!” Or, there may be a repressive intent: “You have no idea at all what you are doing, do you? You better sit down right NOW… before you get yourself hurt, mister!”

Perhaps the most effective way of interacting with someone who is practicing the behavior of agonizing is to offer to assess the alleged risks for them (in a way that works for them). They may be terrified of even assessing any of risks (assuming that they are genuinely interested in assessing the risks that they reference in their speculations). They may lack confidence in their own capacity to assess risk. They may be desperately hoping (quietly or loudly) for someone to come and assess the risks for them.

So, someone else can hire an expert to assess the risk for them (like the risks related to a automobile that may need repair or to some physical complaint like a possible injury). Or, someone can suggest a specific expert that they can hire themselves… or a specific action that they can take to find an expert on their own.

The idea is to promote the precise assessment of risk without the stress of them having to make the assessment (for they may really lack the competence to do so). They are in distress about the possibility of risk. Maybe someone else will offer to “stand next to them” when they go to the doctor, for instance.

Maybe they are terrified of hearing “bad news” (at least without someone else there to help them “keep it together”), so the agonizing is basically a very indirect (and often ineffective) method of attempting to bait someone else in to encouraging them to “go get that checked out by an expert” and even offer to go with them or give them a ride. The underlying issue is a sense of lack of security. They feel distress with no confidence about their own competence to resolve the distress.

Either the distress will resolve or not. Either the energy of the distress will contribute to a future of increased tangible security or not.

Note that when someone feels secure, they are not averse to risk. They consider risk, assess any potential risks that are considered important, and then they take whatever other action that they take.

That is not what is going on with the behavior of agonizing. There is a foundation of insecurity.

The idea that “life should be free of risk” is a delusional linguistic construction designed for pacifying someone who is actually in distress. It is like stating affirmations while driving instead of actually looking at the road and the traffic signals.

There is such a thing as risk (an actual linguistic category). Some assessments of risk are more or less precise. Some levels of risk are more or less terrifying or intimidating or disturbing.

Agonizing can be sort of an “exhaustion response” in which someone experiences an intense terror that they wish to keep secret. The agonizing may be kept private. The person contemplates and speculates, then  may make some assessments of risk, perhaps also in secret.

How accurate are their perceptions of risk? Maybe the risks are much greater or much less than they perceive.

What are they afraid of? Maybe they say and maybe they do not.

Maybe they are so anxious (such as in the case of a neurological electrical misfire) that they simply have massive amounts of adrenalin even without any immediate threat. Maybe they just watched a movie that disturbed them much more than they recognize. There may be an irritability or frustration and no sense of the underlying issues- just a sensitivity to triggers that bring their background of distress beyond the threshold of awareness.

They may know they are in distress but may have no specific awareness of the causes: “Why am I so upset (when I should NOT be)?!?!”

That is also agonizing. They are invalidating the upset by identifying it linguistically as something that should not be happening. Then, with a terrified commitment to the idea that they should not be upset, they may attempt to find an explanation that they consider socially acceptable. That can be difficult. That can take a lot of time. A justification for the upset may even need to be slowly and carefully constructed: “now I know who is to blame for me being upset, which I should never ever be!”

By beginning with anxiety about the idea of being upset, they are set up for suppressing any upset that arises (such as anger or fear or disappointment). They may start with a rejection of certain emotions as “negative” or “unacceptable.” Then they proceed with a commitment to justifying their hysterical rejection of the emotions that they fear with intense paranoia (including the emotion of fear).

Since they reflexively assert that it is “bad” to admit fear, then they fear the display of fear. That is not just an occasional state but an ongoing paranoia. For most people, that is an almost constant state of anxiety since long ago in their early childhood before they learned to pretend not to be afraid.

So, in their conflicted emotional state, what actions can they be expected to take? Until their agonizing fulfills it’s purpose and they begin a new experiment, they may maintain the “holding pattern” of withdrawing from social interaction by practice agonizing to such an extent that the obsessive practice of agonizing destroys any potential for attentive communication beyond the limited scope of their favorite dilemma.

They may chatter, plus others may join them in their chatter, but unless the primary risks are assessed and then one alternative is determined to be clearly more repulsive than the other (riskier), then they may remain “stuck” in their agonizing. Or, perhaps they will be distracted from their dilemma or even will “deconstruct” their own inventing of the dilemma and lose interest in justifying whatever past patterns that they may been have been justifying through the the “great” dilemma that they have been practicing and rehearsing and refining and perfecting. They do it quietly in private at first, constructing something that they think will “seem acceptable.” Then they test it and if it works well for attracting the kind of interaction that they are targeting, they may parade their dilemma openly and widely, then act offended if something does not worship it enthusiastically enough.

If someone says in anxious agony “but should I do this or not,” then I may offer a different linguistic model that is not an “either/or dilemma:” “if you did it, how would you like it to go, and how exactly would you like to do it? If it seems too unsafe, then how could you make it safer or more reliable?”

Note that there is one major problem that people may have with those who are competent in the art of inventing dilemmas. Other people may find it to be a problem that they cannot easily enchant the other person and put them under the spell of their favorite dilemma. The one competent in consciously inventing dilemmas is not easily deceived by those who are less competent or less conscious in their invention of dilemmas.

The competent one may even make fun of the dilemma: “Should you or shouldn’t you? I just do not know! This is such a serious dilemma. Just out of curiosity though, can you name nine things about this dilemma that make it very serious and extremely disturbing? I was going to get a little sleep last night and eventually I almost started to doze off, but then I realized that if I did not practice insomnia for at least a few hours, then I might suddenly fall asleep and then have a horrible nightmare that would wake me up and then I would not be able to get back to sleep, which would be absolutely terrible and can even lead to agonizing about how to prevent contagious outbreaks of incurable hypochondria. So, what would be six of the most horrible things that could happen in a nightmare? Actually, do you think that six is the right number? How about seven? Seven or six… I just do not know! This is so confusing that I must continue it until I find a way to agonize the right way so that I can eventually become clear and calm by agonizing so well. Then again, if I pick six things to start with, then I could always sick a seventh after that, right? Why didn’t you think of that and then just tell me that sooner? Anyway, I know that I have a very serious problem, but I just do not know exactly what it is yet. Please be patient. This is very confusing for me, too. This is really such a serious problem though. I obviously need a lot of help with it because I would be unable to maintain it without competent assistance and outside validation.”

What is courage?

November 21, 2014

What is courage?

If a group of people are driven by a great panic to face a small fear, that may just be desperation, not really courage. Consider a group of naive soldiers who, before a battle, are told that they are invisible or immune to injury. They are not precisely assessing risk and then taking action.

Instead, they are concerned about social perceptions of them as a good soldier. Their social insecurity is exploited and they are naively sent in to immense danger.

What if they are also told that if they are loyal soldiers then they will be rewarded after they die with great benefits from Santa Claus? Again, if they act in anticipation of unproven rewards, that is greedy (and naive), not truly courageous.

courage1

Seeking glory (social fame) can certainly be attractive, but how realistic is it? Are people so ashamed that they seek a moment of relief before they die… for knowing that they have done something that others will celebrate as heroic (to compensate for their past which they still reject as horrible and shameful)?

To review, they have a foundation of shame about their past, then they imagine that some action is so heroic that it will completely compensate for their own rejection of their life, so then they take that action. As they go, they are in agony, but with a desperate hope. If they fail, they are still in the same agony, but with no hope to distract themselves from the underlying agony. If they succeed, there is a moment of expectation that the agony will disappear (if only for an instant) because even though they still reject their past as shameful, they “finally” did something “good.” They still reject their life as worthless, but with a desperate hope that “this sacred action will make it from what it is fundamentally- worthless- in to a new thing.. a life worth living.”

Why not slow down now and experience some self-respect rather than chasing vanity in a hysteria of desperation and shame? “I need to do this so that I will earn the love that I so desperately want, but do not deserve yet!”

Of all, the poorly-armed soldiers who naively charge in to battle believing that they are invisible and on their way to heaven, how many will survive? Any? Of any who do survive, how many of the survivors will be paraded in front of their tribe to be awarded a medal of honor and of glory and of fame?

courage2

We can understand why military leaders might religiously tell young soldiers stories about Santa Claus and invisibility and heavenly glory. We can also understand why, during the recruiting process, the military leaders do not give the patriotic youth a tour of the disabled veterans home. Touring a cemetery would be much less disturbing than touring a paramedic station at the edge of a combat zone, right?

courage3

So courage can involve an awareness of risk plus an estimate of opportunity. The risk and opportunity could be something that someone else merely tells you about. Maybe they are sincere. Maybe they are not only sincere, but even somewhat accurate. However, what if instead of just telling you about their assessments (or repeating the statements scripted by some marketing specialists), they encouraged you to directly make some observations and assessments yourself?

Also, courage may involve taking a new action or even to discontinue an old pattern of behavior (or both). Generally speaking, if mass marketing from commercial interests were already encouraging you to do something, then it would not take any courage to do it. In fact, it takes courage to be skeptical about the unexamined presumptions of a herd mentality. It takes courage to question presumptions.

It takes courage to admit to a past driven by programmed presumptions and then take a position of extra skepticism toward any idea that has been mass publicized by special interest groups such as governments, churches, and school systems. It takes courage to admit to a past driven by fear and then relax. It takes courage to completely rebel- not just in the mass-programmed ways of a revolutionary- but even rebelling against the program of a patriotic revolutionary who saves the world in order to earn a ticket out of hell in to heaven.

There is no greater act of rebellion than a quiet, calm self-respect. Therefore, self-respect must be the ultimate enemy of any empire that depends on a foundation of naivete, fanatical hysterias, threats of personal shame, and intimidation. (By the way, all empires are empires of intimidation.)

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Making friends with fear and even… shame!

September 24, 2014

JD wrote:

Guilt, shame and fear are the lowest vibrations; joy and excitement, compassion and concern, these are high vibrations — Quite simply, change your complex frequencies and vibrations, you are born a Master of this ability as cocreator.

  • 19 people like this.
  • Clare Kent Quick question you didnt cover anger because with that comes passion, emotion, feelings. I understand the intent is there but if you’re angry for the right reasons – Is that a high or low vibration? When I am truly angry my intent and virations seems stronger than any other point.
  • Star Skittles anger is a product of fear.
  • Star Skittles we are fixed on the physical plane, which disables us from seeing the unseen vibrational interactions.
  • Clare Kent Hmmm maybe but I don’t think its always the case. I will have a think about this tonight, connect some dots. Thanks skittles.
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  • J R Fibonacci Hunn The use of terms like “low” and “high” are arbitrary preferences. Of course people prefer experiences of gratitude and joy over terror or frustration.The one who fears shame is still a slave, even if joyful or grateful in a moment. The one who embra

    ces shame will be humbled / humiliated… Which can produce the most precious learning.And the faith that is required involves immense courage. Most people do not have it. They will chase joy and “high vibrations” out of fear (for in fact it is paranoia that drives their frightened chase for higher vibrations). They will eventually encounter frustration and exhaustion, which is a very valuable lesson (though they may resist learning for quite awhile).

    Embracing shame, Grace also arises… Through the relaxing of the shames programmed by schools and in culture (including shames about human bodies). Modesty develops after the terror of idealism relaxes.

    By the way, a message like “just think positive and raise your vibrations” does have some value. However, if people relate to that idea / “method” as an affirmation that is a “cure-all,” that is idealism.

    the idea that people “should not feel how they feel” is shaming / psychological warfare. If circumstances produce the result of a child screaming in terror, that is just a momentary behavior. There is no need to shame the child for “low vibrations” or be aloof and obsess about “high vibrations.”

    I am not just talking theory here. I have made some “mistakes” as a parent and slowly or quickly I have learned from them.

  • Chaffee Cline to release guilt shame and fear… one has to be a “forgiveness warrior” and in a nanosecond in any situation…with any person…and most importantly is to forgive self and others… past, present and future easily and effortlessly with calm and compassion…. here and now… “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
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  • J R Fibonacci Hunn Chaffee, you speak as if shame is primarily a conscious process. Shame is all about the internal suppression of consciousness.How does shame relax? With the opening of chronic physical tensions (and bodily pain), panicked breathing, terrified confus

    ion, and no immediate sense of a trigger.Of course, there is also the issue of withdrawing any prior condemnation of the past. However, that is not “forgiving people for doing wrong.” That is completely releasing any idealism about how the past should have been (or should not have been). Most people are terrified of shame and retreat in to higher vibrations … Which allows them to begin relaxing.

    But their retreat from shame is not relaxing it. That is a coping mechanism to decrease the addition of new layers of shame.

    That is an important step. However, it is a baby step. Withdrawing from shame In fear is wise at a particular stage but is a *very* long way from the end of the path.

  • Clare Kent These three are all society/ religion made emotions, if you don’t judge there is no shame or guilt. I eliminated guilt and shame from me, yeah I made mistakes but who hasn’t. I won’t be held to ransom by an emotion or society for slight errors of judgement. I’m not saying I don’t feel those but they’re weak and not something I cling to anymore. Fear is something I have worked on these past six months by facing them head on.
  • J R Fibonacci Hunn It is one thing to refrain from displaying our condemnation of some behavior or some person. It is an entirely different issue as to whether there is a sense of repulsion or not. Is there is an inner terror or a disturbance of a certain kind, that could be called “shame.”
  • J R Fibonacci Hunn If anything “disgusts” me, that is a real emotion. If I have contempt for anything, that is also real.Those who are ashamed of *any* emotion are still “slaves.” Those who pretend not to be slaves are… many. Such is the nature of shame!

  • Clare Kent Shame is not a real emotion, in some societies it is instilled, for instance tribal women have no worries about exposing their breasts in public,nobody is repulsed however do this in any major city and you’ll see the shame and repulsion,and the guilt instilled into you for doing so. Or the fact certain places monkey brains and cats are eaten, imagine that in your local town? They’d be outrage. Its what’s programmed in to you through the society you belong and its done in childhood. Where one thing is acceptable and normal somewhere, it isn’t so elsewhere. I am not saying I’m not repulsed by certain things because I find some cultural differences absolutely horrific.
  • Clare Kent I don’t believe we should be held ransom by any emotion be it guilt,shame,love of fear. Finding balance is really hard but I’m working on it.
  • J R Fibonacci Hunn I see what you mean now by “real,” Clare. Shame is always social.In a state of alarm, there are two main alternatives: flight (the natural #1 preference) or fight. Next is “freeze.”

    Shame is a type of “freezing.” It has a very specific set of physical tensions, such as “holding back” and holding your tongue.”

    Is all shame cultural? Close enough…. but a pet can display what would be called shame. So can a wild animal.

    In this image, one wolf has a head kept low as a sign of submission to the alpha male. You can say “shame is not real,” but saying that does not alter the reality of the various patterns of BEHAVIOR. Note that I am referencing emotions as neurological patterns of ACTIVITY.

    http://s2.wallippo.com/…/alpha-male…

    S2.WALLIPPO.COM

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn There is a fourth type of fear (besides fight, flight, and freeze). I called it “faking.” That includes any behavior to distract others from fear.Mixing aspects of “flight” and faking” would be behaviors to divert ourselves from perceived triggers of panic, such as a mantra or repeating an affirmation. That CAN be beneficial.

    However, that is not the absence of distress. That is moving the attention away from distress as a temporary coping mechanism.

    If your house is on fire, a mantra will not put out the fire or make it safe. It is fine to use a mantra to calm down a bit. Then, get a fire extinguisher and put out the fire (or leave the building and call 911).

    Fear is healthy. Paranoia and shame about fear is a state of chronic emotional distress. It is getting caught up in a desperate panic of “faking” calm.

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn

    • J R Fibonacci Hunn:
      Clare Kent, thanks for sharing your experience. If I was holding up a chair in one arm and a pitcher full of water in the other hand, and then walking up a stairway backwards, staying balanced would be hard, right?It is much easier to experience balance if you first “empty yourself of luggage.” However, those a nice poetic words that imply that you could do it yourself already.If you are interested in some interaction about how I could help you “set aside some of that old luggage- at least for a moment,” then you are welcome to send me a friend request. Sometimes it is much easier to find balance with someone helping to bring attention to where the energy is currently concentrated.

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    • Brenda Lozano Let us not judge our feelings and emotions, much less our reactions! I know that when I judge my feelings, it just creates anxiety, which makes me feel even worse and leads to guilt/shame…as if I am “above” these human experiences and “should know better”. We practice being ourselves everyday, part of inner peace and living in the present moment is acceptance. We have to accept that light casts a shadow, darkness is ok…as a being of light, a Starseed…embracing the shadow does not mean the darkness will swallow you whole…it makes love deeper and stronger. There is only one vibration for me…the Alpha and Omega…everything else is just human/earth experience, always in motion.

      • 7 mins · Unlike · 1

        • J R Fibonacci Hunn To Brenda, to face a place that has been in the shadows is to bring light (consciousness) to it. In some cases, it is useful to do this “with company” … with other people who have already seen what has been hidden in a shadow.The “freezing” of cons

          ciousness to create a blindspot or “shadow” is a healthy coping mechanism… temporarily. If I am not disgusted or disturbed by something, then I can assist others in bringing light (lightness, humor) to it- perhaps especially if I used to be disgusted or ashamed or disturbed by that same shadow.I know how to joke about some shames with tremendous power and familiarity. In other cases, I can offer lightness but not any personal expertise or insight- just curiosity. However, innocent curiosity can be incredibly powerful.


      • Clare Kent Dogs know shame too,but one could argue this is instilled into them. They are intelligent creatures all animals are, just because we don’t understand inside their brains it doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings or understand their society boundaries. Wolves and dogs are pack/ social animals they know within their group what is tolerated. Merrkats display emotions (i loved meerkat manor) and birds that flock do the same, even within other species. I had a very nippy and aggressive african grey, and another Timmi who idolised me. Sadly, Timmi died and the other became top bird, he changed that day to the most living of birds. As for cats ha, they don’t care. I would like to be a cat I always wanted to be an animal psychologist. I studied my birds and it was fascinating. I also think fear is healthy to a certain degree, but we should only use fear when its necessary and not for trivialities, such as fearing what other may say or think, or fear of other’s. Thats unhealthy and it holds you back.
        • J R Fibonacci Hunn Clare, again thank you for sharing your interests and experience. I have a tendency to present contrary ideas to create new openings for conversation. So, keep that in mind when I say….“We should only use fear when…” Clare is not afraid to use it

          ?In an extreme situation, might it be best to refrain from drawing any attention to myself? Might it be best to remain totally silent… to wait… even to suddenly withdraw with no explanation or justification?

          Isn’t caution intelligent sometimes? Isn’t “being afraid of what people will think” intelligent sometimes? Isn’t “being afraid of what people might do as a consequence / in retaliation” sometimes an intelligent consideration?

        • Brenda Lozano J R without being able to explain to you exactly how…I totally understand every word you have shared here! On the same wavelength…absolutely.
        • Clare Kent I know where my demons lie, as I say I am facing those. I do embrace the dark as well as the light. We need to make sure we are balanced correctly and holding onto old stuff and out of date issues is really unnecessary. I think I have come to a point where I realise the person I am, and not who I am told be be. That’s what I am erasing.
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        • J R Fibonacci Hunn Clare, if I am conscious of a shame (like if I can admit it as a subject of shame), then it may not be especially powerful of a demon for me. The ones that someone is not aware of as any issue at all can be the most dominant.For instance, with behavi

          ors like alcoholism or gambling addictions, those are coping mechanisms. Those are not the shame. Those are methods for distracting myself from the actual issue of shame.What happens when someone experiences a core shame from which they have been hiding? Trembling, nausea, hyperventilation, etc….

          • Clare Kent I get what you’re saying, but of course one must take into consideration other people but at the same time don’t forget who you are and what you feel is the right thing. I am not afraid of fear, I fear very little these days aside from spiders. I do have worries like we all do, but life has its own way of correcting things eventually. I believe in karma and balance. I haven’t always thought this way, I was a ‘fight’ reactive, I still am to some degree. I like challenges and I do embrace the darkness, and accept the consequences of my own actions. I take responsibility where I am wrong and I fight for what I know is right.
          • J R Fibonacci Hunn Clare, what “I feel is the right thing” is a product of social conditioning. That is not a problem. That is just a fact. “What is right” is dependent on a cultural context or social context. The idea of “inherently right behaviors” is cultural idealism.The *idea* of “who I really am” is also a cultural construct. Who I really I am is simply not an idea at all. Am I afraid of dropping any idea of “who I really am” and learning something new about me… or even evolving in to somehting that I have never been?

            3 mins · Like

            • Clare Kent No. My morals are my own. When I say I know what is right its what I know and feel inside is right that’s not social that’s all me. I know who I am, well I am learning every day. I stopped truly caring what other people said or thought a long time ago. I want to evolve.

              Just now · Like

              • J R Fibonacci Hunn:
                Clare, maybe you stopped caring what *certain* people think or said. In fact, you may still care now what they did say in the past, but you just were repulsed by what they said, so you withdrew for your own health and well-being. Great!Further, I am confident that you would deeply care about what some people think or say.You would give great attention and interest to their words and expressions. However, you now have high standards and people need to earn your admiration or else you might just respect them from a casual distance without any special personal admiration or interest.Of course you will have preferences in regard to caring about the statements of certain people. Do I care what my clients say? Generally, yes… especially if they say, “I think it is time that we pay you even more than we have been so far.” I notice that I have never argued with someone who was offering me a pay raise or a promotion.

              • J R Fibonacci Hunn As for wanting to evolve, you really have no choice. You will evolve!But being curiously attentive to the process certainly can have advantages over not recognizing it or resisting it.

                For anyone who wants more background on this tangent, here’s an article: https://jrfibonacci.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/courage-and-the-four-fears-fight-flight-freeze-and-fake/

              • Clare Kent That’s an interesting article, I read it but I’m not sure I’ve taken it in its still very early here in London. I will read it again later. Thanks for accepting my friend request.
              • Clare Kent I think perhaps I agree with what you said there. Thanks for the conversation, I value your input it has made me think. Now I need some coffee



Fear, shame, and repenting

August 25, 2014

Repenting is simply to admit an instance of fear or being scared that one has been terrified or shamed in to hiding. Repenting does not require communicating with another person. I just notice that it is an instance of terror to say something like “what should not exist is stress hormones which can produce heightened alertness in animals including humans which we can call fright.”


Any rejection of some aspect of “God’s creation” as “a mistake” is arrogant sin. It is shame to say “that should not be.”

 


Further, shame should exist. We know this because it DOES exist. Also, repenting of our shame is simple and easy, but very rare. Immense amounts of energy can be invested in the avoiding of shame.

As for belief, belief does not replace understanding. When understanding is present, then faith is the automatic result (the fruit)… as in a faith that, even without already knowing, one can learn. That is a total contrast to “belief” or “positive thinking.” Those are typically methods that frightened people use to pretend not to be frightenened.

It is fine to be frightened. It is fine to ask for help or explore other new actions because of the motivation of desperation or anxiety. That is intelligent. Fear is intelligent. Even extreme forms of fear like paranoia and shame are intelligent, but they can be very inefficient.


The idea of being attentive to the actual physical experience (of stress or distress) as “the most effective form of repentance” is an important note that you added. Instead of being terrified of a physical experience as “shameful or sinful” because someone else might call it fear, we can recognize that in the lives of many people, we assessed that it was unsafe to display fear openly, so we repressed the display of fear (like in our facial expressions or our gestures). That anxious, ongoing repression of fear is paranoia.

Celebrate fear. Admit past paranoia. Admit any past condemnation of fear as “something that should not be.” That is all trivial and sinful. It does not matter now.

Recognize that there are times to keep one’s physical experience private as well as times when being attentive to one’s physical experience is uniquely valuable. Experience yourself with total respect. You are holy. Your past has always been perfect. You just were intelligent enough to hide elements of your past in shame when you experienced distress.

To be cautious in the midst of animosity is not shameful. It is wisdom. To disengage from trivial antagonisms is courageous.

Any past distress was perfect and holy. Any condemnation of the past was also trivial, sinful, perfect, and holy.

________________________________

The above was  written in response to the following: (published by Hope Johnson here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201647056817143&set=a.1268571653323.37765.1800792202&type=1 )

“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God”. This is not a judgment, and it doesn’t mean anyone has done wrong.

Every child is conceived in God’s glory, and birthed into this environment where they are immediately impressed with fear – which is to sin.

Once fear is impressed upon the child mind, mental patterns are formed to continually create different circumstances that trigger the same fearful reactions throughout the lifetime. Every time there is a reaction to fear, sin is repeated, and ego (energy of fear) becomes more prominent as the child progresses through adolescence, adulthood and old age.

As most humans never come to realize that they live through childhood fear, they are like scared little children in that life circumstances…even seemingly adult circumstances like losing a job, home or relationship…trigger the same fearful emotional responses they experienced as a child.

If the child never repents for their sin, they suffer tremendously through the lifetime and especially in old age as their body deteriorates and passes away. This is because the structure of their physical body is made to house fearful concepts, whereby the mind can be easily and frequently hypnotized by evil spirits (fearful thought entities).

This makes repentance very difficult, especially since most religious organizations and spiritually minded people don’t understand it….

So how can one learn to stand firm in God’s glory and repent for their sin when all they know is to respond with fear to life’s circumstances? Through faith that what I’m saying is true, and willingness to pay attention to the messages coming through their own physical body in the moment they are faced with temptation to sin again.

There is no role for self judgment in true repentance…many times the child mind will fall back into its sinful ways…But every time sin is committed with awareness of Truth, factions of evil forces are being met with compassion and thereby dissolved. However, to keep judging oneself for falling is to perpetuate sin and thereby miss the point of repentance.

As one is released from the bondage of sin, wisdom arises in its place, and the child mind comes to recognize that strategies meant to manage fear are no longer useful, and so such childish things are put away….And the child mind is restored to its natural state of carefree, peaceful and compassionate….which is true maturity.

May every child mature in wisdom and be reborn in the Glory of God. Amen!

Repentance is a sincere turning away from sin. Focusing on the messages coming through the physical body in the moment the temptation to sin arises is the most effective form of repentance in my experience.

_________________

 

JR’s response to Hope began as follows and then included all of the above:

Hi Hope. I reject certain phrasing in your message as anti-fear paranoia. However, it is a very important topic and there are some great comments that you made. I invite you to consider a more precise and more empowering phrasing… as follows.

 

 

 

After all of that, Hope replied:

  • Hope: Aloha J R! That’s an interesting interpretation of my words. It’s very generous of you to share your point of view. Mahalo!
  • J R:  Be careful of promoting another religion of exclusion. The excluson of fear is not courage. The exclusion of courage is not maturity. Those who are arrogant and inattentive will, by the glory of God, be humbled.

 

  • Hope: Ok J R! I’ll be very careful not to do that…
  • J R: The glory of God remains with or without sin. Never was an issue. What a relief!Worshiping ideals however can lead to excluding the glory of God… from one’s own direct experience. But that is just temporary, right?

 

Free… to be trapped?

August 19, 2014

Free… to be trapped?

 
Free from the fear of fear… and to fear fear
Free to fear without shame… or to fear with shame
Free to deny my freedom
Free to pretend to be trapped… by words
 
I only regret what I should have done, but did not… according to me
I only feel guilt for what should not have happened… according to me
 

I can condemn the past… or not

I can say I wish now it had been something different… or not

 
I was only disappointed that my hidden fears were revealed
I was only frustrated that my strategies to hide those fears failed

Fortunately, unlike other lesser humans, I was never naive.

My expectations have never been violated by my experience.
My presumptions have never been updated or discarded.
Am I embarrassed to have ever learned anything ever? Not at all.
 
Because I have never experienced confusion, seven is not eleven minus four hundred.
I am better than those folks who try to prevent the experiences of fear and courage.
I am way better than that one guy who obsessively protected the world from paranoia.

Because of my unmatched excellence, everyone should be above average since we are in this together.

Don’t you just hate the kind of people who always complain about exagerrations?

  • Daniel Fritschler: You sure are arrogant! 😉 You should be more like me. Somebody who not only feels fear but isn’t ashamed to share it in a public forum. Until then everything you experience will start to knock you off of your high horse.
     · Unlike ·

  • J R Fibonacci Hunn: Humiliation is the natural result of arrogance (an obsessive fear of displaying fear).

related video:

An empire of fear

May 29, 2014

Before I showed up, there were already expectations.​.. from parents, grandparents, doctors, and nations.

A nation wants soldiers and hard-working taxpayers. The doctors want a tough case with expensive layers.
The family wants a bunch of things that may sometimes conflict. With all these expectations, some are certain not to fit.
So, I’ve failed to meet some of those conflicting expectations.
If an ideal is widespread, then more exceptions are certain.
I’ve been examined and measured and labeled and dismissed.
Also, whether or not anyone loved me, I’ve lived.
I know they all had motives and agendas and desires. Of course they would. Should I complain that flames are made of fire?
Some models of perfection do not perfectly fit me. I could rebel and say “that model’s not for me.”
Or I could relax… just give up my heroic rebellions. All of that was still trying to fit some model of perfection.
I’m unique… and I respect some traditions more than others. The wise are alert to expectations… to reduce suffering.
An empire of fear is here in our midst, but a culture of guilt cannot bear the truth.
A religion of shame must name an enemy. So, a war of terror could be the perfect distraction.

A nation wants soldiers and hard-working taxpayers… plus, maybe some priests to tell the people their prayers.

“If you kill for our cause, then you will go to heaven. If you fail to do your duty, hell is your punishment.”

Confusion is good for organizing herds efficiently. To manage human resources, stress is the key.
Chronic distress without panic is best. Paranoia is great; worship the fear of fear itself.
An empire of fear is here in our midst, but a culture of guilt cannot bear the truth.
A religion of shame must name an enemy. So, a war of terror could be the perfect distraction.

 

 

 

 

 

AUDIO: “for their own good”

May 26, 2014

Once upon a time, a child may feel unsafe, distressed, even afraid. Calling for help may bring relief, no change at all, or further grief.

Soon, a child may learn to hide their fear in shame, to cover their startled face, even to pretend to be brave.

The anxious child may see others who are relaxed, then feel desire, envy and hate. Why not just relax? Why not join and play?

The child says “I fear the unknown, like what happened yesterday. I imagine that may happen again, so I call it the unknown, okay?!?!”

They voice frustration as they watch the others so relaxed. Resentment builds up to contempt for “no one understands me at all!”

 

They withdraw, they isolate, they would keep others distant. Why? They fear that their fear will be seen. That’s why they love the dark.

Soon the child shouts “I’ve found it now. Come look. I’ve finally seen the light!”
Next, the same frightened child approaches others, shining a blinding brightness right in the eyes of all who dare come near.
The child proclaims “I’ve overcome the darkness. Look how relaxed I am!”
If no one looks more than one second, they all believe and say “show me! Let me see!”
So, religions form to find a cure for darkness. People line up for miles and miles.
They crave salvation from fear and shame, for magic to make the unsafe safe.
“Come to our ritual. Ours is best. Anyone with faith will be saved.
Thus, those who are not saved must lack faith. Faith is not the result, but the pathway.”

They worship scriptures and sing songs. What do those scriptures say?
“Faith is the result of salvation, not the path to salvation.” But who reads that stuff anyway?
(I mean, who do you really think you are to read it?!?!)
Worship does not imply study. Private study breeds curiosity and confusion.
That’s why those who question must be punished with teasing, torture, exclusion, and eternal damnation.
To save the children from the hell of fear, we must teach them to hide it in shame.
It’s for their own good. Don’t you agree? You do agree… DON’T YOU!?!?!

supreme faith- faith of god or just faith in god

May 17, 2014

Below are the notes that I used when making the linked audio.

supreme faith-

faith of god or just faith in god
If we use the words “supreme faith,” there is a common understanding of what is meant by “supreme.” The word “faith” can be used in many ways, though. We can explore that in a moment.

First, let me note that almost everything that I am about to share with you will be things that you can recognize as already familiar to you. However, if you have never connected these distinct familiar points, then what is about to happen for you will be like going from having all of the materials for a house stacked up in a pile… to having a well-built home where all of those construction materials are snugly assembled and ready for use. If you have any lasting frustrations in your life, those can be relieved simply by putting together all of these familiar points and recognizing how they all fit perfectly together.

You will be witness to the perfection of life and you will experience the awe and glory of that perfection. You will recognize that your life in particular is also a manifestation of the total perfection in general. You are a manifestation of the supreme perfection.

However, you may have been distracting yourself in patterns of reactive condemning of others. You may have condemned other manifestations or forms as if those were manifestations of some other distinct source that is not the same as the source from which your own life manifests. If you have been focusing in anxiety on what you say makes you superior or what you say makes others inferior, then that anxious focus would have been distracting you from what is otherwise obvious and even familiar.
So, what are some things that the word faith could mean to you? If we think of the story of Moses commanding the waters of the red sea to spread apart and allow a group of people to walk across a dry surface, we might say that Moses was able to command the waters to move because of unusual confidence. Sometimes people use the word faith when they could also use the word confidence.
Words like fidelity and confide have a common root with the words confidence, faith, faithful and even fit (in the sense of something that is faithful or conforming to some point of reference, like for one thing to have fidelity to another thing such that the two things fit). Words with a bit more distant origin to fidelity and faith include bid, forbid, abide, and abode.

To introduce how I am using the word faith when I say supreme faith, I will point to the contrast between the two categories in language of faith and fear. Faith and fear have been called the two possible fruits of one’s inner state. Fear has been called a sign of disorientation, disorder, or even sin. Faith has been called a sign of order or even salvation.

Of course, in regard to fear, there are variations in the extent of fear. There are moderate kinds of fear like alertness or caution or being startled all the way to being horrified or paralyzed with terror.

In regard to faith, there are also many things that can all be called faith. There is a resolute, courageous, undisturbed focus as well as an argumentative, frightened, desperate insistence on some particular kind of uniformity. Maybe someone says in a tantrum of distress “here is exactly what you should believe. If you do not believe that, then you do not have faith! If you do not agree with me, then you will go to a different place after you die than where I will go, and that is causing me to agonize here in hell for an eternity as I await the great relief of dying and going to heaven, where I will then continue to agonize out of my loneliness that you are not there with me.”

Previously, I mentioned that we can contrast two fruits or two manifestations. Those manifest or reveal different inner states.

There is the inner state of identifying what is good or evil and, in contrast to that, there is the inner state of totality or unbroken wholeness or integrity. These two states also can be thought of as extremes between which are many intermediate states. However, for simplicity, we can imagine that there are just two basic states of consciousness of interest to us.
One of those is the state of stress or tension. In that state, it is common for people to value safety in what is familiar to them. If things fit their expectations, those things are called good. There is a lasting alertness or paranoia in regard to identifying whether we perceive something that is familiar as in how it should be according to our expectations or whether we interpret or label something to be unfamiliar or somehow unfavorable, which we may call “how it should not be” or even evil.
In terms of chemistry, this state corresponds to the stress hormones of adrenalin and cortisol. People in this state are alert to identifying perceived threats and then in reflex of an old reptilian part of the brain called the amygdala, “fight or flight” are the typical responses. Sometimes the thing identified as a threat is not actually a threat. Of course, things that are in fact a threat can also be perceived as safe (and thus labeled as safe).
It is important, like when driving a car at high speeds, to be able to identify possible dangers. Isn’t it useful to be able to see a yellow traffic light and know what that means relative to a green traffic light in terms of safety and caution?
Be aware that these modes or states of fight or flight can be very useful. Reptiles and fish and insects all have these same neurological functions and that is a big part of what makes them so different from vegetation.
However,  the process of continuously monitoring for danger can lead to chronic tension in muscles as a lasting experience of distress or hell. When there is frequent agonizing over issues of what should be and what should not be, that extreme fear is not what I mean by the supreme faith, but is what some would call hell.

So, in the ancient Hebrew story of spiritual evolution, two trees are mentioned. One is the tree that relates to the stressful state of constantly sorting what is dangerous and what is safe. We can call that what should be and what should not be or good and evil.

In that metaphor or parable, we are warned that eating the fruit of that tree leads to the experience of shame, which means the sense that one is not how one should be, which can lead to shyness and pretense to hide what does not fit the ideal, and then condemnation of others for not fitting the ideal, plus a variety of other sins. It is the rejecting of the Almighty by way of rejecting the creation of the Almighty as not fitting to some ideals of some form of idolatry. Of course, if the Almighty forms the pattern of idealism or idolatry, then that patterns leads to the experience of shame, condemnation, resentment, frustration, and so on. Sin leads, eventually, to humility and salvation.

However, for the one in hell, there is shame about not fitting some conceptual ideal of how life should be, which is what one may worship instead of worshiping the Almighty. There is also agonizing about how to go from being how one should not be to fitting perfectly with the worshiped ideal.
The agonizing takes the form of a sincere desperation like this: “How do we earn our way in to heaven by fixing ourselves or our family or our government?” There is no real faith. There is just anxiety and panic masquerading as faith.

So, the Almighty God creates all things. God creates language and all contrasting categories in language. God creates light and dark, heaven and earth, day and night, love and hate, peace and war, as well as good and evil.

Some reject God and assert that perhaps one half of God’s creation is imperfect. This is blasphemy against God.

Yes, sin leads to the experience of shame, but both sin and shame are God’s creations. Even blasphemy is God’s creation!
What other source could there be? Does one worship an Almighty God, but then assert that there is some other power that creates perhaps half of reality? Does one even assert that there is some other power which is so frightening to an Almighty God that we must condemn that devil to punishments?
Those with Supreme Faith can let the devil punish itself with shame and agonizing. The devil will worship idealism of how things should be until encountering humiliation as in humility.
Those with Supreme Faith have no lasting resentment for any pattern of experience. God creates all things, including resentment. However, resentment is always temporary, no matter how long it lasts.

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