Choose: self-respect or perfectionism

spock and kirk2

We all begin life with self-respect. Eventually, most of us are disturbed from that mode of simple relaxation. However, we can return to it. Indeed, returning to it can be a massive attraction.

A complication (in regard to the innate experience of self-respect) is when we learn language. We may learn it from people who are fluent in language, but perhaps not wise or attentive in their use of it. They are habitual users of language, as in negligent and naive and even hysterically presumptive.

So, we inherit a kind of hysteria from them. They program us with hysterical uses of language. As we learn a language at a very young age, we eventually “catch” the contagion of their hysteria (and their hysterical paradigms).

How do we develop critical thinking skills? As we encounter different uses of language, we begin to notice a variety of contrasts, such as when people use language in panics of hysteria as distinct from using it with humble respect.

What is perfectionism? It is operating in language with a fundamental presumption that there is exactly one way to be which is the perfect way, with all other ways being inferior or even insufficient and shameful.

It is the extreme of anxiety and paranoia. Further, it is incredibly common.

Should people be exactly one way but not anything else? What if someone occasionally behaves contrary to how they were not supposed (presumed) to be? Should we simply update our presumptions about them or panic and then attempt to reform them through intimidation and ridicule? I might do whatever I might do, but what about what I propose that other people
(such as you personally) should do… or should not do?

I am reminded of the actor Christian Slater arguing with a Russian man named Rakovsky (who also had the same first name as Mr. Slater). Mr. Slater protested Mr. Rakovsky’s use of the letter K in the spelling of his first name: Khristian. Rokavsky shouted back that Mr. Slater was using the wrong alphabet entirely (with Latin letters) rather than the proper one, the Cyrillic alphabet.

So, which is the one “true” spelling of the first name shared by Mr. Slater and Mr. Rakovsky: Christian, Khristian, or чристиан? Which alphabet is the best? Which language is the very best of all? Or, are such questions ultimately just nonsense?

Perfectionism is the fanatical distress of sincerely believing things like that “there is only one true religion, which is political Marxism.” In that mode of tension and anxiety, even the slightest error must be exposed and invalidated. It is a mode of divisiveness and antagonism and terrified competitiveness.

Notice that language is inherently symbolic. Truth is not contained in language. Language can point to various truths and cultivate various perceptions and experiences, but there is no one perception that is “fundamentally more perceptive” than all of the others.

Ironically, from self-respect, there is respect for diversity. One’s own inner diversity is humbly respected. External diversity is humbly respected.

One can be open to unfamiliar ideas rather than hysterically defend against them. One can be relaxed. One can admit to not already knowing everything that might be relevant in the future. Once can be open to learning.

Is it possible for there to be a slight contrast between someone’s behavior and their own comments about their behavior? Is it possible to create a construction in language that is both contradictory and yet also without any contradiction whatsoever?

Contradiction is a fundamental reality entirely independent of language. Or, language is the only context in which contradictions are possible. Or, both are true and yet neither are true.

Is there even such a thing as a contradiction? If not, should there be?

When there is a linguistic construction with an internal conflict of logic (of contrary presumptions or premises), then obviously that is because irony as well as reverse psychology do not exist. However, when I pretend to need other people’s permission to practice self-respect, then that is either a conscious pretense (like a joke or a theatrical presentation) or a delusional hysteria. I may say that I will inevitably experience innate self-respect in the future, but only after the right person validates my inherent freedom from the need for external validation.

Please agree that my way of spelling the word “true” is the one and only true way to spell true. If you do not display sufficient enthusiasm, then I will be very offended and explode in to outrages of emotions that were already suppressed, but then deny that the emotions were already suppressed.

No, to clarify, I was not already confused. When I first realized that I was confused, that was the first moment of confusion. Prior to that, I did not know whether or not I was confused and even presumed that I was clear. However, that presumption was later revealed to be false. Nevertheless, you and your words is what confused me and I was certainly not confused prior to you confusing me because that would be shameful and embarrassing and humiliating and if there is one thing that must be avoided at all costs, it is a shift from terrified arrogance to calm humility.

In conclusion, yes, I am planning to practice self-respect in the near future. I will do it as soon as all of you people stop practicing perfectionism and hysteria and so on. In fact, I will do it right after everyone else agrees that I am their one and only savior and thus have compensated for being born extremely naive and now I finally deserve to experience innate self-respect.

 

spock and kirk

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