Communication as the key to quality of life

Today, I will stress the importance to me of high-quality communication, exactly how it is important to me, and what specifically makes some communications so much more valuable to me than others. I expect you to already be interested in this topic and to find most of what I say to increase your existing appreciation for communication, then perhaps also lead to increases in the quality of your future communications.

So how exactly do I measure the value of my communications? I associate certain results with my communications. As I communicate, I notice that I refine my behaviors as a result of my communications, and then the refined behaviors produce new results for me. So, how I perceive my communications to influence the overall quality of my life is how I value those communications.

My perceptions about the influence of my communication on my other results can be a topic of special interest to me. I can value precision in regard to my perceptiveness about how my communications are influencing the rest of my life. I can value communicating in ways that promote my own perceptiveness and that also expose me to the input of people that I deem to be unusually perceptive. I can even directly motivate certain select people to provide me with high-quality feedback, criticism, and coaching.

Communication is one of many factors in life. Again, it is those other factors which we can use to measure the value of any particular instance of communication.

Communication is actually not essential, at least not in the way that health, wealth, and relationships can be. If health declines far enough, then life ends. Also, good health contributes to most any other priority.

As for wealth, if wealth declines far enough, that can effect health as well as how free we are in regard to our time. Note that some of the most restrictive choices that people make about their schedule are in regard to concern or even desperation about scarcity of wealth. Most people who experience stress about their schedules can admit to originally constructing those schedules around money-related issues, like organizing time around saving money better or around earning money better (such as by getting a job or going to college to get a better job). Of course, some people also organize their schedules around promoting health or promoting high-quality relationships.

On the topic of relationships, communication is extremely important to many relationships. For instance, the flourishing of a genetic dynasty (biological descendants) not only can involve communication between a man and a woman, but between adults and the children who will grow up to be adults and eventually parents. Another way that communication is important is as a factor in how well we raise our children as well as how well we select mates for the production of children.


So, to summarize so far, communication can influence all of our behaviors and the results that we produce through those behaviors. If I notice which topics of communication are most magnetic for me, I can also notice whether I am operating in a mode of innovation, of casual retrospection, or of intense repulsion, frustration, or avoidance.

I can notice that my attention repeatedly returns to certain details relating to health, wealth, or personal relationships (including parenting or child-rearing). Do I want to create a specific new outcome? Do I want to calmly and carefully study some subject(s) with no pressure to immediately excel? Or, is there some result that I want to reduce, reverse, prevent, or avoid?

Next, what exactly makes certain communications so much more effective or productive in regard to consistently generating results that I value? First, there must be clarity in regard to desired results for there to be an organizing of behavior around effectively producing those results. However, clarity is often absent for many modern people. Some people report an experience of distraction, haze, numbness, confusion, or inner conflict.

In those cases, the only communication that may powerfully attract people in that stage will be communication that directly targets the promotion of clarity (perhaps along with related qualities like calmness, alertness, perceptiveness, and understanding or expertise in regard to any particular subject of interest). People who are experiencing an elevated degree of distress typically will strongly prefer resolving or relieving that distress before launching any new experiments.

If there is a background of confusion about the source of their distress, then there may still be obviously distinctive patterns of emotion and behavior in relation to certain topics or issues. Those topics or issues trigger a surfacing of pre-existing confusion or even distress.

For each person, there can be a specific sequence of inquiries to pursue as well as a specific pace that is appropriate for them at any point in time. Sometimes, a person will be more clear on what they do not want to do next then on what is relevant for them to do next. In a single short conversation, it is possible for someone to shift from a mode of tremendous caution to at least one point of clarity in regard to a relevant outcome to promote and a baby step to take in the direction of promoting that outcome.

So, inner clarity is essential for the highest quality of communication. When two or more people all experience a high degree of clarity, then high quality communication is most likely between them. Further, high-quality conversations often include a high degree of perceptiveness in regard to the other participants and their experiences and priorities. When, for each participant, there is inner clarity and interpersonal perceptiveness, then the next issue is the ability to effectively communicate ideas, especially concisely. When all three of those factors are present, then the final issue is the issue of interpersonal compatibility or devotion.

Compatibility means that the priorities and the abilities of the participants fit together well. When the various participants all spontaneously recognize an unusually high degree of compatibility between each other, then devotion naturally develops. Devotion can develop slowly or quickly.

This natural devotion based on obvious compatibility is sharply distinct from mere hope or presumption. We may add presumptions and hopes to an experience of devotion, but the devotion itself is distinct from any specific future hopes or expectations.

In the event of any conflict between loyalties or alliances, it is typical that only the most powerful alliance will remain. All lesser alliances may be sacrificed if they are perceived to be a possible threat to a more powerful devotion or bond.

In some cases, two people will experience a different degree of devotion toward each other. Devotion is based on perceptions and the precision of two different people’s perceptiveness may or may not match. Individuals can assess their own level of devotion as well as that of any other party. Also, individuals can assess each party’s devotion to competing alliances (or interest in forming new alliances).

When two or more people experience a sudden devotion to each other (with no conflicting alliances or bonds), then partnership naturally will develop. Long conversations will blossom with natural momentum. The frequency of interactions will tend to increase. Also, the depth or intimacy of the interactions can rapidly shift.

Further, when there is enough compatibility for momentum to build between two people, then that may result in each of those two people re-assessing the quality of their communications and relationships with any possible competing alliances. Certain existing alliances may be neglected or even sacrificed.

Also, it is common that as the connection between two people deepens, they may present each other with more and more intense challenges and tests. In other words, as their interest in a particular ally or partner increases, then the precision of their perceptions about that other person becomes increasingly valuable to them.

To review, the issue that makes some communications clearly more valuable than other communications is the issue of the new results that are produced in the lives of the participants through their communication together. Further, the spontaneous development of interpersonal devotion is the most obvious indicator of a history of high-quality communication. Contributing factors to that devotion include inner clarity, interpersonal perceptiveness, the ability to communicate efficiently, and finally the compatibility between the participants in regard to their priorities and capacities.


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