What is your destiny
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What is your destiny?
To understand destiny, first notice that the word destiny can be used to point to something unique. Every word is a pointer. The word destiny simply points to an idea. To discover how the word destiny is used here, keep reading.
Have you ever been outside on a bright day and seen your own shadow? Maybe you noticed that every shadow is pointing away from the sun, right? Of course shadows point away from the light source! That is just how shadows work.
So, whether or not anyone says that shadows always work the same, you can see it for yourself. Even if someone says something about shadows that is inconsistent with what you directly see, you can still see shadows pointing away from the sun. Whatever they say about shadows does not change how shadows work.
Destiny is like that. Anyone could recognize what destiny means as an observable reality, but some people might never understand destiny as anything more than a strange idea (maybe even a confusing one).
Without really understanding it, some people may talk about destiny or even say that “there is no such thing as destiny.” That is like someone saying “shadows are living things that have the choice to point away from light and anyone can see that the shadows always choose to point away from the light, but their direction is still their choice!”
So, how shadows really work is distinct from any words used about shadows. In general, language is distinct from the rest of reality.
Language can be used to interpret a particular reality in more than one way. Language can be used to dismiss a reality.
Language can effect other people’s attention and interpretations, but language does not change how shadows work, right?
Next, imagine someone tossing a ball straight up high in to the air. What do you expect to happen to a ball thrown up in to the air?
The speed of the ball rising will eventually slow down, then the ball will fall back down to the ground, right?
If you made a video recording of the entire flight of the ball and timed the length of the flight of the ball, what would you notice at exactly half way through the flight of the ball?
There is a short moment when the ball is not rising or falling. Also, as the ball comes down, it will actually speed up on the way down.
No matter how many times you tossed a ball and recorded the flight, you would always find certain consistent patterns. Maybe you measure the total time for one toss from release to landing. Maybe you label a certain moment as the highest point or the peak or “half way between the times of the release and the landing.”
All of that labeling is distinct from the actual patterns being labeled. What you notice, you might label. What you do not notice, you will not label because you cannot.
Now, imagine that someone says “what just brought the ball back down is called gravitational force.” Then someone else says, “no, what brought the ball back down is called gravity.”
People can argue over the words, right? They can even say “there is no such thing as gravity.”
Maybe they do not understand what the word gravity means. However, every time a ball is tossed up in the air, a predictable pattern can be observed. That pattern can be labeled “the ball always coming back down” or “gravity” or “gravitational force.” The different labels all point to the same pattern.
What is the destiny of a ball tossed straight up in to the air? The word destiny is related to the word destination.
The destination of a ball tossed in to the air is to return the ground. Destiny is like that.
However, destiny includes the final destination as well as every stage along the way. The destiny of the tossed ball is not just the final destination, but first to rise, then to slow down, then to reach the peak of the flight, then to begin to fall, then to speed up, then to reach the ground again.
But what if someone tosses a golf ball in to a pond? The ball will splash and land in the water, not “on the ground,” right? So, does one difference in that specific case completely “disprove the existence of destiny?”
No, because the words used to talk about the destiny of every ball tossed in to the air are just being used to point to a general pattern. Special cases (that have one detail different and conform in all other details) are just slight variations.
If the destination of one golf ball is different from the others, that does not alter the basic meaning of the word destination. Likewise, if the destiny of one golf ball is unique, that does not alter the basic meaning of the word destiny.
“Your destiny” will be quite similar to that of everyone else in many ways. However, it will also be unique.
So, destiny is a real label. As a label, it is just as real as destination, gravity, and golf balls. All of those words are just words. However, the words all point to something that anyone can observe. But, some people might not.
If someone does not use the word gravity or even says that gravity does not exist, so be it.
That is obviously just part of their destiny to say that, right?
What exactly is your destiny? What I mean by “your destiny” will be evident in the past, the present, and the future.
Your past has been pointing to it. All the momentum present in your life now also points to it.
Ultimately, your destiny includes everything that actually happens (all that has happened and that will happen). Your destiny also includes everything you ever say.
Embracing your destiny might include precisely organizing your words around the actual patterns in your life. What other people say is what they say. What they notice is what they notice.
What about you though? How well does what you say about your life fit with your actual life?
For people who are interested in the topic of their future destiny, typically that means they are experiencing a mix of excitement and curiosity and maybe even confusion or distress. Does that sound familiar?
Next, is it possible for a brief interaction with another person to quickly bring your destiny in to focus for you? Can your clarity suddenly increase? Can conflicting momentums relax and resolve smoothly?
You have been programmed to relate to your own life through scripts that may distract you from certain patterns. Through words, your attention has been programmed to notice certain things and not others. Your interpretations of what you notice have also been programmed.
In particular, you may have developed habits of confusing one thing for something else. That activity of confusion can be frustrating.
Note that we just called confusion an activity. Confusion involves labeling something in a certain way that does not fit with what is actually happening.
To assist you in developing new clarity about what your destiny already is, an expert in resolving confusion can be very valuable. Someone who is not emotionally invested in your current script can easily notice how your current script may be producing frequent confusion for you.
Complicated scripts can be simplified. Confusing scripts can be discarded (or carefully evaluated for accuracy).
Why do this? Not doing it can be intensely frustrating. Doing it can bring sudden relief and unexpected satisfaction. Do this because life will be so much easier when you do (compared to before you did).
Your destiny is actually not the source of any tension. However, your programmed scripts may complicate your experience of life. In fact, what if the destiny of every single person includes an inevitable encounter with the fact that your programmed scripts have been “clouding” your awareness of your destiny?
Your current scripts are just one detail. Your destiny has produced them and can produce new ones that fit more precisely with your actual life.
Further, what if your destiny is to interact with someone who is skilled at creating scripts that bring you relief from past habits of confusion (confusing one thing for something else)? How about someone who can help you review your own observations to organize a revised script that resonates powerfully with motivations that you have not examined (or that you have been confusing for something that they are not)?
>> MORE ABOUT WHY
Why will you value interacting with someone who is an expert at interpreting your destiny? When your speaking fits the rest of your life, your experience shifts.
For instance, chronic patterns of physical tension can dissolve. Some scripts can actually make you anxious or scared. If you notice certain reactions beginning to form, then you can instantly interrupt the scripts producing those reactions and instead produce clarity and courage and power (through using new scripts that fit your actual destiny).
Fear is part of your destiny. In fact, everything that actually happens is part of your destiny.
Your destiny gives you fear to produce a shift in your attention. That shift in attention can lead to something very valuable called courage.
Courage only comes through fear. There is no other way to experience courage, except after fear arises.
Between the initial arising of fear and the eventual arising of courage, there will also be heightened alertness and caution. The purpose of stress hormones is to produce fright, which includes increased alertness.
If part of your destiny has been to condemn fear in a script of terror, so be it. In terror, people may condemn terror.
Why? They fear it. Through a script of condemning fear, they may experience paranoia (such as lasting anxiety about avoiding the display of fear). They are socially anxious about noticing any patterns in their life as fear. The terrified anxiety may even be crippling.
If that is part of your destiny, you might be interested to know that fear is a universal component in everyone’s destiny (along with confusion). Further, social anxiety about being recognized as confused by others is also common.
We naturally want others to respect us and to think of us as perceptive. However, sometimes it is even more important (than being considered perceptive by a particular person) to actually be perceptive.
How perceptive are you about your destiny? If you are ever anxious about other people pressuring you toward uncomfortable subjects, that is a normal and healthy response. As your destiny becomes clear to you, then other people’s pushing or pulling will eventually be like a single drop of water in an ocean.
If destiny was the captain of a sailboat, destiny would not complain about the direction of the wind. Destiny would be interested in recognizing changes in the direction of the wind and then adjusting the sails to continue toward the destination.
If the wind is blowing directly away from the destination, that is useful to notice. To a skilled captain, that wind is basically the same as no wind at all. Drop the anchor to hold position, relax, and then wait for the wind to change to a favorable direction again.
>> MORE ABOUT HOW
You may have noticed that there are some popular scripts that reject the idea of destiny. So what?
The scripts that you use are part of your destiny. When you change scripts (descriptions), that is your destiny changing your scripts.
When destiny brings you to motivation to explore the assistance of an expert in matching you to a script that is a good fit for you, that is like an actor that has an agent to help them find roles to perform. If you try a few scripts, some will match you better than others.
In every culture, there are several common scripts that most everyone is familiar with, such as the victim or the rebel. When those fit for you, any other scripts might be “wrong for you” at that time. When those do not fit, there are many other types of script to explore (other genres or narrative styles).
When your life is flowing like a romantic comedy, it does not work well to pretend it is still an action adventure story. Also, just because you have a script that fits well for the current stage of your destiny, you may value some coaching from someone who has played the same role a few hundreds times more than you.
When exactly will you do this? Again, not doing it can be intensely frustrating. So, until your destiny brings you to enough frustration, you may ignore old disappointments. You might have preferred ignoring them temporarily (maybe even for a few decades, but that is still temporary).
You may even ignore your own fear… for a while. That can change and the change can be sudden.
Now, what if you were open to courage (and even to face fear)? What if you respected fear a the only access to courage? What if you also recognized that your experience of confusion or distress had reached a point that you were humble enough to consider identifying a competent specialist and requesting their assistance?
Confusion can lead to simplifying, clarifying, and exploring. A topic of confusion, when you consider it important to you, will lead to a huge increase in curiosity toward that topic. Plus, if the situation is “very complicated” (confusing), then you will be willing to do what it takes to find the assistance you value and then to collect the resources to give you access to that assistance.
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>> MORE ON WHY
So, again, why will you do this? You could say to yourself (in the voice of your favorite authority figure) that “it is just my destiny.” If that is true, though, then you will do this because you want relief from things that repulse you and because life is much easier when you keep doing it. You will suddenly get the relief you might not have even thought was possible. Your capacity to learn can rocket, and as that happens, your confidence naturally blossoms.
Old motivations that you may have been spending energy resisting will suddenly be refreshing. You will have more energy by no longer resisting them, plus welcoming those motivations could give you access to supplies of energy that you did not know you had.
Stop trying to change the direction of the wind. Be willing to adjust your sails. Be willing to occasionally retract your sails and drop anchor.
In fact, you may even want to glance at a map now and then. If you did not bring a map because you have been saying that maps do not exist and that even if they did, you should not need one, how is that working for you? This may be exactly the right time to consult with a specialist in navigating your destiny.
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