lyrics: “Going back to Jesus”

I was so naive,
I didn’t want people to know
I had ever been deceived
or mistaken at all
​Of all the things I have believed,
how many have ever needed
to be revised or released? zero?
If I could pretend
​that I have nothing left to learn
would people be impressed
would they think I’d earned
respect or happiness or
maybe extra blessings
or even ​higher returns​
​I was arrogant
​to drive people far away
​so afraid of criticism
hoping to display
a pretense of confidence
in defense of incompetence
I was such an uptight fake
I used to love to suffer, so jealous of the others, I’d say bitter things to blame them    for my life of hatred
Now I’m going back to Jesus  but not because he needs us   I’d just like to apologize  
for being such a frightened liar
 
Jesus was my favorite prophet          the only one I knew
I read about loving my neighbors    then complained of what they should not do
How could they send their children to fight lopsided wars
then still call themselves Christians? Contempt filled my questions.
I had my own agenda    to put them down and lift me up
but the harder that I pushed, the lower that I stood.
With idealistic definitions    of what “neighbor” should mean,
I worshiped one translation    and discarded curiosity.

I used to love to suffer, so jealous of the others, I’d say bitter things to blame them    for my life of hatred
Now I’m going back to Jesus  but not because he needs us   I’d just like to apologize  
for being such a frightened liar

Now Moses, he was a problem     for my so-called wisdom

I read of his tradition                     and it was so efficient
in the slaughter of his rivals        those worshipers of idols
the Midianites got in the way of Israel’s survival
or maybe domination    would be a better word
but the Levites could be listening, so I’ll just say I heard
someone say that they were vicious.   (Well, actually it’s written
right there in the open for anyone who dares to read it.)

I used to love to suffer, so jealous of the others, I’d say bitter things to blame them    for my life of hatred
Now I’m going back to Jesus  but not because he needs us   I’d just like to apologize  
for being such a frightened liar
I was so naive,
I didn’t want people to know
I had ever been deceived
or mistaken at all
​Of all the things I have believed,
how many have ever needed
to be revised or released? zero?

 

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