A momentary lapse of hell (at Watson Falls, Oregon)

In reply to someone comment on facebook, I have memory of a “neurological event” in which the ordinary filters of cognition were not functioning. The full set of physical sensations were registering all at once with no filters.

This happened over the course of probably much less than a single minute in the mid 1990s. The familiar points of reference for the passage of time seem fuzzy in retrospect, but once “the mind that I had momentarily suddenly lost resumed its function and I cam back to my senses,” then my filtered senses and concern for phsyical survival eventually brought my attention to “regular clock time” and I would say that the “lapse” was very brief.

My body and my body’s mind slipped apart for a few moments. However, that was not an “insight” so much as a “contrast.” There was no lasting re-organization of the persona that I previously had.

Like being asleep and then waking up, when the ordinary mind and it’s persona returned, the only difference was that “my soul” remembered that the lapse of the persona, occasionally recognizing that the persona was just a persona. Most of the time, the soul continued to identify itself AS the persona as usual.

The continuing operation of the persona eventually went from “seeming like a nuisance” to simply being a detail. So, that “insight” concentrated the immense disappointment of the persona with its experience. It created an intense thirst for a “return to heaven.”

In other words, it began a very manic oscillation. To go to heaven and then “kick myself out” was quite a disturbance. I very clearly recall then “ending of heaven” when my body “reached out” to reconnect to my mind in order to bring about the preservation of my physical body. The ordinary mental filter resumed instantly.

Such “out of body” experience is not functionally very important, at least not according to the experience of the persona presenting sequences of words here. I rarely mention it.

However, to be able to have a much less manic spectrum available is “cool.” That has developed over time. There was no instant of insight.

Before, I thought that I had kicked myself out of heaven. I literally “lost myself ” again in hell, or at least that is the kind of description I would have made at the time.

Since then, through the exploration of language and the mind, I no longer have the dilemma of being in either hell or heaven. That is nonsense.

The soul is always in heaven. It cannot be any other way.

The soul can witness a persona suddenly arise and then experience the agony of agonizing, but still the soul is in heaven. The “satori” did not bring that, but yes set up that potential.

It has taken time for the persona to be accepted not as a horrible demon possessing the soul, but simply as a branch of the soul. That did not happen outside of the mind, but THROUGH it. The mind’s persona(s) were forgiven by the mind.

The soul is in heaven. The soul notices the mind forming personas. So what?


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