How could the future be amazing?

How amazing could the future be?

If we could ever find the future to be amazing, then couldn’t we also eventually talk about amazing things that already happened? Of course, we could even lament how the distant past used to be so very amazing, but now life is anything but amazing. Or is it?

Couldn’t I relate to life as something that is fundamentally amazing? Couldn’t I relate to life as something that is always amazing, like there were always amazing things happening and always will be?

Of course, while I was asleep, I may have missed a few amazing things. Or, while I was awake but distracted, I could miss a lot, right?

I might have been so terrified that, for hours or maybe even years, I literally did not notice anything amazing. I did not talk about anything amazing because I did not even recognize anything to be amazing.

Hypothetically, amazing things may have happened, but I did not perceive them at all or simply did not relate to them as amazing things. However, right now, couldn’t I just all of a sudden start to relate to life itself as utterly amazing?

You may think dismissively that “this is just the old familiar practice of thinking positive.” However, I am not talking about hoping that things will become amazing like they allegedly “should be,” am I? Further, I am not talking about ignoring anything that I fear so much that I label it negative or repulsive or terrifying. I am simply talking about finding things I personally find amazing and then focusing on them.If I find something amazingly disgusting, that is still amazing. If I experience something as amazingly insulting, that is a type of amazing, too. If I interpret any part of life as amazing, then that is how life is amazing for me.

In other words, I am talking about learning about things that interest me. I could be intrigued by some of the different ways that people can use language. I could be intrigued by some amazing form of industrial technology.

Consider all the things that I have ever found amazing. What is the one common theme for all of those things? Here is the unifying factor: I had no idea that those things were even possible until I witnessed them and recognized them to be amazing to me.

Now, imagine that eventually, perhaps very far in the future, something will happen that I did not expect- or even something that exceeds my expectations and presumptions. I could be totally surprised by life. How could I relate to being surprised?
I could pretend not to be surprised. I could pretend not to be interested at all in the thing that I pretend did not even surprise me. In fact, I might even be able to fool lots of people in to thinking that I was not surprised at all.

However, what is so terrifying about being surprised? I am amazed at how much energy that humans- yes like me- can put in to arguing against the fact that sometimes they get surprised.

We may even give dramatic apologies like “Yes, I was surprised by that, but I am telling you that I have a very good excuse for being surprised! I can tell you exactly whose fault that one was. I can tell you precisely why that other one does not count either. Next, I can tell you why you obviously should forget the idea that I could ever be surprised by anything.”

What do I call that? I call that paranoia. I call that terror. I also call that… boring.

Isn’t it amazing how bored some people will allow themselves to be? It is like they are tamed pets.

It almost makes me wonder if these people have been programmed with some kind of a religious idealism in which they are actually chasing after death to escape from life- to be saved from the tedium of living by some fantastic vision of an eternal paradise that they can only access by dying. Wouldn’t that be totally crazy?

I am constantly amazed by how bored some people will allow themselves to be. For instance, just during the last sentence, I was amazed by no less than three people who were just sitting around so bored by their own old complaints that they started looking for other people’s complaints to complain about.

They said things like this: “Why are those other people so bored? Their boredom is insulting. They should not be bored. They should be amazed. They should do things that amaze me. They should amuse me and entertain me. They should be exactly how I say they should be. That reminds me, they also should not be however I say that they should not be, which would be very arrogant of them, right? They should be humble enough to line up outside my door no matter the weather in order to have the privilege of having the unique opportunity to find out my opinions. Which opinions? They should crave to learn my opinions about how they should be and how they should not be, and then invest their whole lives in to conforming precisely to my dictates of absolutely anything that I say (or even that I just think), like what should amaze them and what should enrage them and what they should ridicule and dismiss.”

Have you ever been amazed by how naive some people can be? That can be quite amazing.

How about this? Have you ever thought about how amazing it is that we can understand language? Someone can make a series of sounds and someone else can instantly and effortlessly know what the other person is focusing on and how they are focusing on it.

If you spend even just a little time with a bunch of people who do not speak a common language with you, then you may get a quick and powerful reminder of how amazing it is that language even exists. Not only can people understand the sequences of sounds used in spoken languages, but some of us can even use written symbols.

Of course, language is really no more amazing than our ability to communicate with facial expressions. If you actually stop and think about how complicated it is for a human face to change expressions, you will be amazed by that ability.

Consider that if you had to explain to a blind person by phone how to use their various facial muscles to make a particular facial expression, you might find that very challenging. However, if I list any emotion, you could instantly imagine a facial expression corresponding to that emotion, like a sad face, a happy face, an angry face, a skeptical face, a surprised face, or a delighted face.

You know what those facial expressions mean even if you do not have the ability to use language and label the various faces. Even creatures like dogs seem to be able to see a human face and recognize emotions. They apparently can hear the emotions in our voices. Even without being able to label the different emotions or expressions, they respond.

Emotions can be communicated with or without language. Those are just a couple of things that you could find absolutely amazing.

Or, maybe there is absolutely nothing amazing happening and there never has been and there never will be because there never could be. Learning cannot happen because I am all-knowing so nothing surprises me since I am not only a psychic but also a competitive, perfectionist, know-it-all jerk.

Or maybe all of that is something that I may have just pretended once out of sheer terror. I did not want anyone to think that I might still be learning. I was taking evasive action to totally avoid ever being surprised in the future.

Learning is not amazing. Amazing is not learning.

Having an amazing future would be the most boring thing in the world. Resignation and cynicism are the signs of a faithful worshiper of the religion of identifying some ideals about how life should be and then going around condemning any discrepancies between my sacred idolatries and the insulting, offensive, scandalous failures of God to make life conform to my pre-existing notions.

How could God be so insensitive, so arrogant, so unpredictable? It’s not like I am here to learn or to experience life as amazing in the future.

No, I am here to complain about the past. I am here to wallow in regret and guilt and grief and grievances and perfectionism.

When God gets over this little rebellious phase and is ready to come to me with humility and ask my opinion, then maybe I will have mercy on God and share my divine wisdom. Until then, your life better not be more amazing than mine because you do not want me to be jealous of you. If you make me jealous of you, then you will be punished with eternal damnation to a hell of always condemning stuff and complaining and agonizing about how to change things from how they should not be in to how they should be (and then keeping things how they should be) and then, after you inevitably get exhausted from all of that idealism and criticism, being resigned and cynical.

Your future is going to suck if you allow your future to be amazing. You are going to live out your amazing life constantly worrying about one day regretting that you did not fully explore the opportunity to regret your life more while you were alive.

Therefore, you should devote yourself to agonizing about how much is the right amount agonize and what exactly are the best things to agonize about. You have no time to waste. This is an urgent matter that requires constant stress and even distress (in order to avoid a future hell of eternal agonizing).

You also need to obsess over how to make your life as amazing as it should be. You should not be open to identifying things that are already amazing about life. You need to compensate for how horrible your past used to be by competing with everyone else to have the most amazing life that anyone will ever have including in the future.

First though, you need to earn it. You need to deserve it. You need to make up for all the damage you have done in the past by finding certain things to be slightly interesting and even altogether amazing. But how could you ever do that? I know, right?

So, you need to surround yourself with people who either insist that life is not amazing or else say absolutely nothing- like in a monastery or an insane asylum where all the patients are drugged out on chemicals that block their emotions. Emotions are your enemy- all of them. You should be terrified of them, except for terror, which is the one that you should worship to the exclusion of all of the others, because terrified paranoia is the only emotion that is not negative.

In conclusion, life is not amazing. Language is not amazing. Nothing is amazing. Anything that is amazing should not be. In fact, anything that should be amazing should not be amazing.

Get with the program, people. Time is running out.

However, this offer is not valid in all areas. Some restrictions may apply.

Act now because supplies are limited. If you are pregnant, could have ever been pregnant, or hypothetically might have the capacity to one day make someone else pregnant, then please consult with your licensed indoctrinator of quackery before using any product that contains any chemicals whatsoever, including water, which has been determined to lead to paranoia in people who were already terrified fools.


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