Braving rejection (& fear, shame, guilt, etc)


Braving rejection
 
Bravely presenting a proposal
When someone presents a proposal, there are a few kinds of results that are possible. First, there may be virtually no result, such as if the proposal is recognized but is otherwise simply ignored. Next, the proposal itself may be questioned for clarification. Proposals may also be formally rejected (whether with remaining openness to future proposals or with clear annoyance or even offense). Of course, proposals may be answered with a counter proposal (such as in a negotiation) or simply accepted.
 
 
Bravely stating rejection

There is another kind of bravery though. It may actually be far more bold than initiating a proposal.

What about the bravery of interrupting an ongoing momentum? What about the bravery of withdrawing from an existing agreement or pattern? What about intentionally taking an action (or not taking a certain action) that will predictably result in the experience of grief or fear for someone else?

 

Even just declining a proposal can involve tremendous bravery. One who is experiencing insecurity (fear) may even feel terrified of disappointing someone by rejecting a proposal. There may be a terror about pssible future anger and punishment or simply the withdrawing of rewards and support. There may be paranoia.


Bravely facing fears

Below is a list of 3 of the most complex forms of fear. These are very distinct from simple fears like the being startled by an unexpected loud noise. These are chronic fears which correspond to chronic muscular tensions as well as neuro-muscular rigidity.

paranoia: the fear of displaying fear
shame: the fear of grief (as in the fear of the displaying of disappointment)
guilt: the fear of displaying anger (which typically results in anger being directed at one’s self / internalized, yet also being projected externally in potentially intense accusations and vilifications and demonizing)

Braving shame

Shame, like all emotions, alters perception. Shame trains us to be cautious and alert and mindful.

However, shame does not actually control our actions. For instance, even if someone is ashamed of doing some action, they can still continue to do that action.

So, can we hide disappointment about something at the same time as we admit our attraction to whatever possible outcome that was disappointed? Shame (or shyness) is the fear of the experience of strong atttraction.

Shame, in its most extreme form, is the crippling of attraction. How exactly does one cripple attraction? The habitual practice of the rejecting of virtually everything is called nihilism (or negation / negativity).
“I will reject other people completely before they can reject me any further.  I will reject their ideas and statements- maybe quietly timid, maybe with aggressive arguing or ridicule and constant corrections, and maybe casually or even playfully.”

Bravely accepting rejection

One pattern of human activity is the habitual rejecting of other people as well as any “disturbing” ideas such as “my familiar presumptions might be slightly imprecise or even grossly inaccurate.” By practicing various forms of rejection, one may reduce their social network, concentrating it all the way down to zero (at least temporarily), producing total seclusion or isolation or withdrawal.

This limits the possible distraction of other people and their interests and influence. The temporary recluse can focus on ideas and language at their own pace unintrrupted- such as reading quietly in private.

Rather than being bombarded by the messages of things like the mainstream media, one can withdraw slightly or totally. Rather than having one’s most superficial desires and attraction constantly stimulated by commercials, religious indoctrination, and other social programming like public schools, one’s deeper attractions may be welcomed.

We may give these deep attractions special labels like “my inspiration” or “my personal mission.” Generally speaking, though, they are still experiences of attraction rather than repulsion or caution, right?

Bravely accepting attraction

So what do I actually enjoy? What do I find notable, interesting, intriguing, facsinating, and so on?

What is so appealing to me that I would risk experiencing rejection? Also, what is so terrifying to me that I would risk failure, disappointment, shame? What is so attractive to me that, even without any huge social encouragement, I would be open to learning more about it- or even motivated enough to set aside time or money to cultivate familiarity and clarity with that subject?

rejection

Braving rejection

Regarding which subjects am I most willing to clearly present direct proposals? In other cases, am I willing to at least hint at my interests, such as to vaguely invite a conversation about particular future possibilities?

Perhaps I experience a wide variety of interests. I can simply allow them to come to my attention- maybe not especially rejecting them but simply noticing them.

Occasionally, a few of my interests may develop in to fascinations with magnetism and motivation and then momentum. Later, I may choose to interrupt a particular momentum… or even all of them.

 On occasion, I may reject certain opportunities or possibilities in favor of others. I may extend invitations and proposals, each of which may be ignored, accepted, ridiculed, countered, questioned, or formally rejected. I may interrupt active momentums and other people may interrupt active momentums as well.

nicki minaj

Accepting bravery

This composition has been designed to clarify what may have been confusing or ambiguous. Tangled, overlapping ideas may have been untangled so as to be distinct: each one from the others. We can be grateful for all of the patterns of life, including the possbily-challenging experiences like fear, grief, shame, paranoia, guilt, withdrawal, bravery, attraction, repulsion, respect, rejection, and acceptance.

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