respect vs loyalty to what isn’t working well

God is with us!”

I consider people’s loyalty to “what isn’t working well” to be an issue for ME in my life and my business. We COULD distinguish ourselves by emphasizing a contrast. Here is “something to consider:”

I say “we are in the midst of systems specifically designed to distract, deceive, confuse, frustrate, and disempower us. They program us to reject ourselves, including the rejecting of certain emotions in particular. So, we can COME OUT OF THE BEAST, but not by staying loyal to it! We can shift from a conversation for EITHER loyalty OR reform… to a conversation for RESPECT.”


Loyalty (Photo credit: U.S. Army Korea (Historical Image Archive))


Respect (Photo credit: U.S. Army Korea (Historical Image Archive))

Note that “coming out of the beast” is NOT “killing the beast from inside of it.” The “beast” is not just an institution but a WAY OF RELATING. We can respect the system and even occasionally use it without having a terrified loyalty to defending it or reforming it.

We can begin by saying to people “what do YOU think about this idea that there may be systems that train us to be loyal to them TO OUR OWN DETRIMENT? Do you think an institution would ever program people to be loyal to that institution rather than loyal to their own family?” If we want a totally new dynamic, we must be willing to recognize old patterns and occasionally to even DISCARD them. How about just engaging with people directly in a remarkable conversation?

I occasionally find it frustrating to interact with people. I propose that many people- perhaps even myself- have had an undistinguished commitment to “be loyal to what is not working.” That hidden commitment to “what is not even working” BLOCKS the experience of simple disappointment and thus builds in to frustration: “This is NOT working BUT IT SHOULD!” I would only care that something is not working because I am disappointed. I would only say “but it should” out of NAIVE LOYALTY.

The loyalty represses the disappointment until I eventually get frustrated with “the system,” not even recognizing yet that it is not the fact that a hammer is not a saw that is a problem, but that I naively PRETEND that a hammer SHOULD be more like a saw. Once I admit that I have reached a point of frustration, then I am open to input from another. They may be able to not only help me be effective in regard to a specific issue, but to UNWIND an underlying catalyst for frustration and ineffectiveness and despair.

When I am merely disappointed, I can still explore new methods on my own. However, when I am experiencing the distress of frustration, assistance can be very beneficial.

So, how is this so unusually relevant? We are trained to be so loyal that we repress disappointment in “the system” until we reach a point of frustration. Further, in the absence of competent leadership, we direct our frustration toward investing in reforms that may never arise and may not be satisfying even if they do.

However, consider that ALL people who want some kind of systemic reform actually see systemic reform as a METHOD to produce the RESULTS that they really desire in their own lives (but they have been trained to be so deluded that they think reform is the best way to get those personal results). They need coaching and effective LEADERSHIP.

In regard to health, there are AMAZING results available by methods unfamiliar to the masses. In regard to wealth, there are also SHOCKING results available, but not through familiar methods!

The idea that “the government is going to save me” is an idea of desperation. Those who are frustrated and terrified may be so terrified of simply stating their frustration (because they are so loyal to the system) that they desperately hope for a government salvation. That desperate hope is also called despair. It is a form of paranoia, of slow panic.

An alternative is to convert the frustration toward initiative. One pathway for converting frustration to initiative is rage. Another is grief (as in expressing disappointment). I often find that the direct expressing of either rage or grief tend to produce a clear recognition of “why I care” and “what I value” and “what I appreciate” and to eventually resolve in to LAUGHTER (a sign of tremendous relief- much more powerful than a mere “sigh”).

Beast Within Me by Piedra

Beast Within Me by Piedra (Photo credit: familymwr)

Are YOU willing to welcome your own emotional experiences? Are you willing to divest from what is not working well and to instead explore a new conversation that respects emotions as sources of valuable feedback, that respects “the system” (recognizing what it is and what it is not), and that respects the results that are most attractive to you?

If so, I invite you to make a comment below. Thank you for your willingness to respect what you are… rather than reject what you are and pretend to be something else (or that you “should” be something else).


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