the parable of how you should think and behave

Once upon a time, an author was inventing some stories to share with others to guide them and educate them. The specific accuracy of the story was not a primary issue for the author. In fact, including some ridiculous elements seemed like fun for the author, maybe allowing for some extra amusement in the process.

Full Moon view from earth In Belgium (Hamois)....

Full Moon view from earth In Belgium (Hamois). Français : Pleine Lune vue de la Terre en Belgique à Hamois. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, then the author called up a few friends, who happened to be named the Sun and the Moon and the Ocean. The 4 of them got together on a boat which already had 4 others on the boat: the North, the South, the East, and the West. Of course, as everyone knows, this was a bit of the problem.

The East and West were well known for keeping their distance from each other, always saying that the other’s point of view was simply backwards. The North and the South were not much better together. While they barely talked at all to each other, which was something of a relief from the constant bickering of the East and West, they were known to occasionally gather armies of mindless zombies together for another battle, attempting to bring a final conclusion to the ancient rivalry between the North and the South.

The rivalry had started when the East had said that the winters were too cold in the North, but then the West said that the summers were too hot in the South. Soon the East and the West got busy manufacturing weapons to sell for a nice profit to the North and the South, who were desperate to prove through superior military force that the weather was much better in one region than in the other.

Because of their absolute neutrality, the East and West both sent diplomats to their neighboring realms to attempt to do everything possible to bring a peaceful resolution to the emerging conflict. Further, they would bring along brochures promoting their latest weapons just in case the adversaries did not reach a peaceful resolution and wanted to go ahead and prepare for the inevitable continuation of the eternal conflict between good and evil.

English: Boat moorings, Shoebury Small boat mo...

English: Boat moorings, Shoebury Small boat moorings of Shoebury Common Beach. Looking south-west in the late afternoon across the Thames Estuary (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And that is how the the first four parties found their way to the boat for a luxurious cruise in the Caribbean. In other words, the cruise was something of a mix between a gun show and a peace conference. At each stop of the cruise, the North and South would be taken to a port where the various weapons manufacturers had set up booths and demonstrations. Then, everyone would get back on the boat and talk about the importance of peace and stability and selflessly promoting the interests of mindless zombies everywhere.

That is what was planned right when the author and the Sun and the Moon and the Ocean also got on the boat. If you are wondering exactly how the Ocean got on a boat, well so was I until I realized that I was the author and so I could make up anything I want, plus I really did not want to go back and delete any of the ridiculous story that I previously typed, because I am extremely lazy.

So, what I decided is this: when the Ocean got on the boat, there was an even bigger problem than the ironic drama of the gun show peace conference that was already in progress: a sinking boat! Oh my, there was total panic as drops of water were everywhere and then the deck got wet and the waves surged over the sides of the boat and the Sun and the Moon were in shock which means that we just acted like nothing was going on at all. Then the Sun, who is very shy of criticism, hid behind some storm clouds, which only made the Ocean so angry that instead of putting just one foot on the boat, the Ocean jumped in to the air and landed on the boat in a complete disaster.

Water was spraying everywhere! The boat started to splinter and creak and crack and sink and leak and basically it was just the most terrifying thing that could possibly happen, especially considering that the gun show peace conference might be canceled if the North and South started to think that “they were in this together” and then there would be no more need for a heroic intervention by the East and the West to have yet another peace conference in the near future (which had been essential to the tourism industry for the last few decades).

Journey to the East: Route Map

Journey to the East: Route Map (Photo credit: premasagar)

Suddenly, the Moon reflected calmly on the whole situation and then did what any intelligent person would do: got out a camera of some sort (probably a mobile phone) and began making visual records of everything. Later, the author would of course destroy all first-hand evidence and then write a totally unbiased historical account based only on the interests of the highest bidder, which will probably be whoever eventually wins the great war between the directions.

Well, anyway, now is as good a time as any to reveal that the whole point of this story was to have some situation in which there was sinking ship and then a small lifeboat that did not have enough room for everyone on board the larger vessel to all get on the smaller vessel. So, right about now is when the East said to the West: “Hey, you horrible competitor, let’s get on the lifeboat and save ourselves quickly!” As the East and the West argued over who should get on the lifeboat first and who should get on second, the Sun and the Moon went ahead and got on the lifeboat. “What about the Ocean,” shouted the author hysterically, but no one ever listens to me anyway so of course I just kept shouting and shouting rather than get on the boat myself.

Before long, the North and the South sympathetically congratulated me on my selfless behavior, which snapped me out of my hysterical delusions. I quickly and quietly got on the lifeboat, which only had room for 3 passengers by the way.

 

Since the Sun and the Moon and I were already on the lifeboat, the lifeboat was full (according to the little warning announcement posted by the fire department which shows the maximum legal occupancy). But then the Moon said to the Sun, “you should really get off of the boat and go get a few clouds and bring them back while we wait for you. All of the clouds have done a lot for you and they deserve to be treated fairly and have their proper seats on the lifeboat before anyone leaves for their own safety and well-being.”

And that is when I realized that the Ocean and the Moon had planned this whole thing. The Sun, who is starting to sound more and more like just another mindless zombie, got off the lifeboat, leaving room for the Ocean, who then boarded. Immediately, the Moon launched the lifeboat (which had a nice, strong motor as well as a cooler full of beverages- sorry for not mentioning that earlier because it will be important later in the story.) And that is how the gun show peace conference cruise came to an early and glorious end.

THE END

English: Ramsey - West Quay - Fishing boat Two...

English: Ramsey – West Quay – Fishing boat Two Girls View is to the east from West Quay, southeast of swing bridge. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

P.S. If you are wondering why there was ever a real problem with the sinking of the cruise boat because I never said that it even left the dock and why couldn’t everyone just step off when it started to sink, then you really need to read my soon-to-be-published historical account of all of this, which clearly states that the Moon acted heroically and desperately tried to save the Sun. However, since the Moon was pregnant with the Ocean’s baby at the time (which is a secret), that is the real reason why the Sun was outraged and went back on the cruise liner to get some gun show brochures to fold in to paper airplanes and throw at the Ocean out of jealousy for the Ocean having impregnated the Moon.

So, that is when the East came over to the 3 passengers (who were sitting calmly on the lifeboat starting the motor and enjoying some refreshing beverages) and then the East said to them all, “hurry, you all must leave right away because of a very good reason!” Obviously, it was just because of that selfless encouragement of the East (who died in the disaster unfortunately and thus was not available for comment), that the Moon left with the Ocean and I, abandoning the others to their deaths. By the way, I had nothing to do with any of it because I was sleeping the entire time and I am only faithfully telling you the version that I was told by the Moon, who also viciously denied allegations of having dosed my beverage with sleeping pills.

Simon Bolivar in Castro, Chiloe

Simon Bolivar in Castro, Chiloe (Photo credit: wallygrom)

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