Maturity: results vs sincerity, hope, regret, & blame

Attention ne pas couper le courant électrique

Attention ne pas couper le courant électrique (Photo credit: zigazou76)


If you value results, then sincerity and hope are just minor factors. Sincere hope that some method will work is not an access to reliable results.



Intergrity. Sincerity.

Intergrity. Sincerity. (Photo credit: Renato Ganoza)



It takes maturity to accept responsibility for producing results. People who present their sincerity as an important historical detail may be quite immature. They want approval and validation, not responsibility.

It is wise to target delegating responsibility to those who are focused on actual results.  You can ask yourself: who wants results and who just wants attention (which they may attempt to distract with dramatic breakdowns and tantrums about who is to blame or what is their very interesting excuse)?



Mere good intentions are not enough and do not replace research, planning, skill, and dedication. Excitement and passion is not enough either. Nervous excitement or arrogant “confidence” are not signs of reliability.



Can you qualify for the Green Berets?

Can you qualify for the Green Berets? (Photo credit: U.S. Army Korea (Historical Image Archive))



Maturity also involves being open to experiencing disappointment about results without justification or blame. No one is ever the victim of the choices they made and the methods they used. Results are the sole basis of assessing the value of the methods and procedures that were used.



How fast will someone dedicated to results discard a method that is clearly not working? How long will they take to get frustrated enough to be open to a new approach?



If you value results, then sincerity and hope are just minor factors. If you value being congratulated for your amazing sincerity, then the actual results that you produce are just minor factors.

Imagine a parent complaining that their children just do not appreciate them enough- or that their teenagers should value them more. Imagine a grandparent whining that their infant grandchild does not give them enough attention.



An infant

An infant (Photo credit: Wikipedia)




If you ever get frustrated that people are not congratulating you “enough” for your sincerity, then it may be time to focus on results. If it is time to focus on results, then it may be time to focus on what results to measure and when, plus how to track which results come from which methods. Willingness to revise or discard methods is maturity.





Where do you invest your time and energy? There is no “wrong answer” to that question. However, the accurate answer will reveal what you have been valuing.



Are you willing to face the precise details of how you have been investing your time? Have any issues or topics been “dominating your thoughts?” That is where your energy (emotion) has been invested.



Just how committed to results would you like to be? Right now, are you more committed to the future than to defending the past (or avoiding it)?



Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus (Photo credit: rwoan)



There is a constant publicizing of scandals and trivia and controversy. Have you been obsessed with learning the latest detail or on spreading the word heroically about the “big” issue?



You’ve probably obsessed over at least a few things at some point in your life. Some people’s job is to create sensationalized magnets for your attention. Many issues may be

Can't Be Tamed

Can’t Be Tamed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

worthy of SOME of your attention, but how much?





Painful Maturity

Painful Maturity (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



They will promote to you pre-packaged hopes and blames and values. So what?



The biggest barrier to focusing on results may be regret. Investing in regret tends to lead to exhaustion, blame, resentment, resignation, and cynicism.



Being disappointed is much more functional than nursing regret. Welcome disappointment. Even welcome fear. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to reality- to partner with it rather than be dismissively terrified of it (AKA arrogance). This is how to learn from the past.



For sincere people, the past is what justifies the alleged heroism of their most dramatic regrets. For mature people, the past is a series of results that can be lessons for which we are grateful. Maturity may seem a bit more boring, but if you are actually interested in results, maturity is valued over familiarity.

What could be more boring than focusing on what is already familiar to you? What could be more interesting than learning about what you actually value?



If you value results, then sincerity and hope are just minor factors. If you value being applauded for your latest new hope, then the actual results that you produce may be just minor factors.


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One Response to “Maturity: results vs sincerity, hope, regret, & blame”

  1. Brian Says:

    Thanks for the ping. Good article and reflection. Looking forward to more posts.

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