Defending sincerity (and the art of passive aggressive finger-pointing)

English: Sincerity by Marino Gropelli,1717 at Summer Garden. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sincerity (Photo credit: mctrent)

First, I was pure and innocent. Eventually, I was terrified in to repressing certain capacities. That is the developing of shame.

Then, I diverted attention from my shame by projecting arrogance: “Notice what a good boy I am! Notice that I am so much better than that one person in particular and those groups of people in general, who are such horrible villains, don’t you agree? Well… you do like me best, don’t you? I deserve your validation! I have earned it, right? So then you better agree with me right now before you make me mad and force me to come over there and defend my sincerity.”

Finger pointing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I called my terrified arrogance “sincerity.” I called my panic of sincerity “what other people should agree with me about” or “what other people should think, too.”

If anyone said that my entire display of “sincerity” was a pretense or fraud, I would defend it by attacking them for being blind, deluded, argumentative, stupid, evil, and so on. Any threat that might reveal my shame (my repression) could unleash those repressed capacities.

For instance, if I should not be violent, then if someone accused me of repressing my capacity to be violent, then I might be quite violent in reaction to their accusation. Or, if I should not be argumentative, then if someone accused me of repressing my capacity to argue, then I might be quite argumentative in reaction to their accusation.

“I am not repressing my capacity to argue. No, hey, listen, I am not! No, I am actually just not argumentative at all. Look, stupid, I am not pretending not to be argumentative. I really am not. Really! Why can’t you just accept me how I really am?”

 

English: Sinceer “Hate” message. Allegory of sincerity. Français : Message sincère de haine. Allégorie de la sincérité. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“How I really am” was the central pretense of my religion of sincere arrogance and terrified sincerity and naive arguing. Other people should think that I really am how I think that I really am. Or else at least they should not say anything that points to any inaccuracy in my sincere pretenses.

“My pretenses are sacred. Only an idiot would dare to question them. Therefore, obviously, anyone who dares to question them is an idiot and deserves to be shamed and humiliated and punished for their idiotic, arrogant, argumentative, pretentious, so-called sincerity.”

That used to be my religion. Now, if someone calls me arrogant or evil or argumentative, I might respond in some way. I might not respond. I might apologize. I might laugh. I might cry. I might get very defensive, passive aggressive.

I might say “Me? Argumentative? I am not argumentative! Why can’t you just accept me how I really am like you should? You should not be pointing fingers! Pointing fingers is bad and you are pointing fingers at me which means that you are bad. What? No, I am not pointing fingers at you! You are the one pointing fingers at me. Anyway, you started it. I am just telling the truth. I am just being honest- unlike you. I am just pointing out with my finger that your finger is pointing at my finger pointing at mine, which is your evil act of finger-pointing, and that is bad and you should not do that because you should not be so evil and do such evil things. Also, you should accept that I am not argumentative like you. You should acknowledge that I am better than you because I am too a good boy and… and you are a bad boy just for saying that I am not a good boy, which is evil finger-pointing and you really should stop that right now before you make me mad and force me to come over there and defend my sincerity!”

Passive-Aggressive (Photo credit: Burns!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at Columbia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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Sincerity (Photo credit: joe.oconnell)

Tags: finger pointing, Passive-Aggressive, sincerity