On parenting, over-reacting, a diet for mental health, and whining

  • 8:42am

    SB wrote:
    …do you feel parents can be too superficial and reactive? Parents ought to be more in tune with their child‘s behavior (not just things that are considered behavioral problems, but also simple mannerisms or habits of child) and look deeper into the “why” behind behavior. seek factors (such as diet) that may change (or prevent) the natural instinct or natural response of child. Basically invest more in child. Close?
    If so, very interesting. I’ll check out the diet articles. I’ll have three teenagers in the house before I know it.

    A child jumping

    A child jumping (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


  • J R Fibonacci Hunn

    As for parents being too superficial and reactive, I can tell you that I am a parent and so I can confidently answer “yes.” Over-reactions are part of life. Apologizing and relaxing can be very valuable after over-reacting.

    When I say “over-reacting,” I do not mean that there is any wrong way to react, but that some reactions are presumptive (all?). So once I recognize that I am presuming and what one of the presumptions is, then I can question my presumption to confirm or correct it and then correct any errors and, if relevant, apologize to acknowledge that I had made a naive presumption (probably without even knowing it was a presumption, because I am as human as anyone else).

    There is no “right” amount of concern for children. Some parents are more focused on rearing children well than other parents (often mothers are more concerned than fathers and perhaps because they are more capable) and of course there are lots of presumptions about what is best in raising children.

    Some parents are “over-bearing” or even paranoid and hysterical. That is not “wrong,” but that is not very effective either.

    You used the term invest. There is the question of how much to invest and how to invest it, just like with finances and budgets. Those are some of the most useful questions to ask. “Invest more in Kevin” or “invest less in Sue” is not very precise, but sometimes a very simple choice like to “invest more” or “invest less” is the appropriate “next step.” To say “invest wisely” is even less specific!

    Thermal insulation

    Thermal insulation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Lately, as for diet and investing in health, I am focusing on eating a lot of fat, like avocados, coconut, and the best quality animal fats I can (butter, trimmings, etc). In early 2007, I lost the ability to walk and the medical term for what happened would have been “Multiple Sclerosis.” In simple terms, there was not enough insulation around my nerves for signals to get through. That insulation is made of things like fat and protein, just like a fat person does better than a skinny person in freezing whether.

    Fat is insulation. “Too much insulation” is a problem, but not enough insulation for nerve signals to flow is an even worse problem, because it is really useful to be able to do simple things like walk.

    By the way, I recovered. Overnight.

    Nerve axon with myelin sheath

    Nerve axon with myelin sheath (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    I simply consumed a single pint of fresh (raw) cream (of a healthy cow). I also went from sleeping 2-3 hours PER WEEK to 6 hours that first night after I had a pint of cream.

    2-3 hours per week is “FRAZZLED” and that is all from not enough insulation around the nerves. I was very irritable, but I am also reasonably mature, so I handled it rather well (in my opinion).

    Anyway, eating a lot of fat does not produce obesity. Obesity is when the body realizes that it is starving for fat and so it uses a bunch of hormones to go in to panic mode to conserve existing fat and create more fat, just like a cow that eats grass will make fat out of the grass, or, more precisely, like a bear will go in to a crisis mode in the fall to store up fat for winter.

    I am really skinny. Most I ever weighed was maybe 140 at most. I eat a LOT of fat. Eating fat does not make someone fat (or at least not obese).


    Two mice; the mouse on the left has more fat s...

    Two mice; the mouse on the left has more fat stores than the mouse on the right. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    [SB also asked about some lyrics to one of my songs]
    I think that one of the first lines of the song is “she should not be how she is” and in the video I raise my right hand and point, like I am pointing at someone. I was. I was pointing at my girlfriend at the time (now ex) who was in the next room.

    She should not leave the cupboards open “all the time.” She should eat better than she does. She should be more like X used to be or how she was that one other time or my imagination of how Y might be.

    Those are all very “human” things to say, but especially if I am saying them to someone besides her, that can become whining. (Or, if I was saying to a judge in court that she should pay me bla bla bla, then that would actually be a request for a court order, not just whining.)

    Whining is okay. Whining is asking for someone to give me attention long enough for me to get the simplicity of what is really going on for me. For instance, in that case, either I was resisting leaving that girlfriend and I wanted validation like “yes, you should leave her” or I was inviting a pep talk/challenge: “is all this stuff you are whining about really important to you or just something you say because you are afraid of intimacy because of what happened in 2007 or 1993 or whatever?”





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