how to save the world (humor)

St Michael and the Devil
Image via Wikipedia

The night that God asked the Devil to save the world from darkness

One night, God said to the Devil: “Hey, are you busy? No, well that’s great because I need you to do a huge favor for me and for the universe. So do you have a few minutes? Okay, great! Basically, I need your help to save the world. Something is very wrong. There is a huge problem and I think that you would be perfect for fixing it. Here’s the deal. I need you to go around and capture a shadow for me. These shadows are spreading darkness everywhere and people are starting to complain and wonder things like how could God let something like this happen, right, and since my PR staff is on vacation, I need you to go out there, Satan, and capture at least one shadow to give people hope, like as in give them the impression that we care and we are doing something about the injustice and tragedy of having shadows literally all over the world. So, here take this,” God said, handing the devil a flashlight. “Go and take this and catch me a shadow and bring it back to me.”
English: A flashlight Svenska: Ficklampa
Image via Wikipedia
The devil took the flashlight and turned it on and then went out to save the world from shadows and darkness. Before long, he saw a shadow and he tried to sneak up on it slowly. That did not work at all. Then, he saw another shadow from a distance and he tried to rush up on it quickly and catch it by surprise. That still did not work!
Everywhere that the devil went with his flashlight looking for shadows, the shadows just kept retreating as fast as he approached. it was like they knew he was coming and were hiding from him.
Gustave Doré, Depiction of Satan, the antagoni...

Gustave Doré, Depiction of Satan, the antagonist of John Milton’s Paradise Lost c. 1866 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Don’t these creatures ever sleep?” he thought. So the Devil got very depressed and went back to God and said “Father, I am a total failure.” God said, “Oh hell no you are not! Don’t even say that. You are my beloved child and you are NOT a failure. After you left I realized that I accidentally gave you a flashlight, which was my mistake. I meant to give you a camera.”
Then Satan said to God,” oh, I get it, finally! It took me a while. What you are saying is that if I want to earn my way in to heaven, then the first thing that I must do is to pretend that I am not already there.”
<I made that up this morning and sent a slightly shorter version of that as a text message.>
Published on: Jan 18, 2012
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