A life without problems & the language of relating to life as a problem

Published on Aug 14, 2009. Re-published as a page on February 28, 2012.
Experience

Experience (Photo credit: djniks)

I have been having very serious problems with reality. Isn’t that awesome?
A problem is a belief that God (i.e. you, I) has failed definitively and is incapable of miraculously resolving some allegedly unresolved and perhaps unresolvable situation. At root, a problem is a way of relating with reality that identifies some situation as wrong ( as a problem, as what should not be). Along with that often goes this: relating to some other situation as the cause of the problem- an excuse for one’s own results, experiences, actions or inactions. Making a problem out of life  basically identifies the one with the problem as the victim isolated from an all-powerful, evil, villainous reality (AKA “the victim mentality“). At least, that is one way of making a problem out of life. There are other ways that are not so dramatic, but making life in to a problem in this particular way is, frankly, quite an interesting way to draw attention to one’s self.
The big problem was a reflection (or projection) of my belief in what is wrong with my life (i.e. with me) and of my worshipping of my own insistence that something is wrong. The experience of “problem” is the resulting evidence- which I present as obvious, incontrovertible proof that reality should not be how it is and then I make friends with anyone who agrees with me and deem everyone else as obviously “part of the problem.” The problem thus justifies my worship of the belief that something is wrong with my life (i.e. with me): “see, here is the proof: just look at this problem!”
By the way, problems are always presumed to be more important than the rest of reality. Did I mention that people who agree with me on how important my problems are (on how important I am through them) may be who I identify as my friends (oh, and did I also mention how insightful they are)? People who erroneously think that other things are “the problem” are wrong… obviously. 😉
So, in cooperation with our alleged enemies, we may come together like magnets, each arguing for how we are repulsed by each other. We join together, facing each other with angry tears and surging adrenalin- and chant this mantra in harmony like the sopranos and tenors of a choir: “you are so wrong. You are so wrong. You are so wrong. How can you be so wrong? I can’t believe that you could actually be so wrong. How much wronger could anyone be? You may be the wrongest person to ever live! God really must be ashamed of creating someone as wrong as you.”
However, at least we can still agree with them that any people who question the existence of problems must be insane. Here’s proof: none of any of our friends (none of the friends of my enemies and none of my own friends- you remember- the insightful ones) question the existence of problems, do they?
Religion overthrowing Heresy and Hatred II

Religion overthrowing Heresy and Hatred II (Photo credit: Nick in exsilio)

At root, problems are hatred. “You are so wrong” (or even “this is so wrong”) is a mantra of hatred, and when I say “you are so wrong,” who hears it most? Who hears me say “you?” Which “you” hears it every single time I say (or even think) it?

Religion overthrowing Heresy and Hatred I

Religion overthrowing Heresy and Hatred I (Photo credit: Nick in exsilio)

I hear it everytime I say it. I hear it every time one of my friends say it. When the people that I call my enemies say it, I probably don’t bother listening to them really because they are obviously wrong anyway. So, if my distant enemies have only been listening to me as little as I have been listening to them (if at all), then to whom are they really saying their mantras (whether in Russian or Arabic or Hebrew or English): to themselves (and perhaps also to their friends- and even their children- who will listen to my latest hypnotic mantras of hatred)?
“But stop trying to change the subject, buddy. Let’s get back to the specifics of my very special and important problem. You know the one. Don’t act like I need to tell you what the real problem is here…. You KNOW the one!”
So, if I have been attached to a certain specific method or specific outcome which does not fit present reality, could the source of the problem be not reality but my insistence on a method or outcome which may not fit with reality? Insisting that reality adhere to my presumptions is rebellion against reality. That could be a problem, huh?
Insisting that my life (I) should not be how it is (how I am) is not partnering with reality. Rebelling against reality first isolates me from reality (implicitly denying that I am real) and then implies that reality is the source of my rebellion- you know- because something obviously is fundamentally wrong with reality, you know- the distant reality way over there, so far away from me, the innocent victim, who is so unlike all-powerful reality. On the other hand, I may have been attributing a lot of power to reality. What if at least some of the power that any alleged reality may have is actually power that came from me and my attention? That would have been ironic, wasn’t it?
English: The mantra of Padmasambhava (Guru Rin...

Image via Wikipedia

The experience of problem was my insisting that something is fundamentally wrong with reality. The experience of problem was the insistence that reality is fundamentally wrong. By the way, people who did not agree with me not just on exactly how reality is wrong but even on the basic premise that reality is wrong… are people that I deemed to be insane. Again: ironic, wasn’t it?
“By the way, do you know what your problem is? You do, huh? Well, in that case, let me tell you what your problem is….”
Consider that in order to partner with reality, first we might question what reality actually is. We might even question how reality comes to be and even the seemingly absurd question of whether reality even exists.
Who would I be if I questioned the existence of reality? That would imply that I stop separating myself from any particular something. Hating is rooted in the belief that I am not the object of the hatred. Fearing, hoping, and even loving may be rooted in the belief that I am not the object of the experience. Or, perhaps loving is the direct experiencing of life as living- without separating life into you and me, good and eve, villain and victim, subject and object, cause and effect, alive and dead, into two.
What if what I have been calling reality was only a specific, limited way of experiencing living? What if I relax my objectifying of reality as “the way it is” and experience living curiously as “what could be?”
Reality is just something that could be. Insist, then suffering may result.
Insist on how reality should be, and am I not the one who suffers? Insist on how I should be, and am I the one who suffers- or, by focusing on my own way of being, isn’t my experience of life by which I mean my experience of my life by which I mean my experience of me living my life… responding precisely to my evolving attention? What if that has always been all that has ever been?
Does reality mechanically produce an experience which I then call me? Does life live me living my life? Is my life the dead product of a remote God-reality- an impersonal, all-powerful and yet possibly judgmental, insecure, jealous, and vengeful God-reality- or am I this very God-realizing attention which gives form to experience?
On the seventh day, God said to herself: “Hey, do you know what your problem is? You are so wrong! By the way, stop trying to change the object!”
And so God, who had been having a very bad hair day, removed her comb from the surface of the obviously uncooperative mirror- where she had been trying so earnestly to get the mother-flipping reflection to part right there- no, not here (AAAARRRGH). Instead, she then, perhaps by a divinely accidental coincidence of synchronicitous grace, casually placed the comb on her head all the way over here and indeed relaxed her hand, sliding this comb gently through her hair just like that. Suddenly, just as she felt the comb gently moving across her scalp, something truly miraculous happened….
God just woke up from the dream that there was ever a mirror out there at all. A mirror that did not ever exist could not have always been a problem, shouldn’t you?



JR
************

We do not have to sail in the direction of the wind, but if we ever sail off course, is it easier to change the direction of the wind or the direction of the sail?

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7 Responses to “A life without problems & the language of relating to life as a problem”

  1. sanora1 Says:

    I liked your post. I will read more.On the first reading I got the impression that you seem to be one who is very observant of life. What is reality? My opinion(which is never fixed but merely the result of my best attempt to make use of whatever information I can make sense of at the moment) is that reality is the infinite expressions of creation which are taking place within the unity of the one reality and consciousness that we call “All That Is.” It is the ALL, that takes place within the One.
    Peace unto you my friend.

    • jrfibonacci Says:

      There is an ancient metaphor of a tree. The tree has many branches, and each branch has many leaves. However, for all the diversity within a single tree, each tree is only a single tree.

      In Latin, the phrase “E Pluribus Unum” expresses the same idea: “unity in diversity, diversity in unity”

      Name one thing that is not reality. “Unreality” is a real word. “Fantasy” is a real word. “Impossibility” is a real word. Which word is not a real word? What perception is not a real perception?

  2. daoud alahmad Says:

    Thank you for coming up . I want to say that God is the true reality, the believers say that , and everything in this universe be realistic as far as closeness to God. No matter how people disagree about the true , God remains always dominant.

  3. ricardolifecoach Says:

    Sounds like your problem is overthinking. too much identification with your egoic way of thinking. you have convinced “you” into believing the other “you” with great logic, that life is perfect and problem free. Don’t fragment yourself, that could be a problem (lol)

    I agree that we create our own problems, but if we unidentifying from our egoic mode of thinking, we become problem free because the moment of NOW is perfect. You don’t need to overthink it, you need to stop thinking!

    Or is that what your saying in your roundabout way of getting there?

    • jrfibonacci Says:

      Thanks for your reply. Yes, problems only exist relatively, like ways of thinking or ways of relating to something or labeling something.

      You can also label thinking as a problem. However, to label thinking as a problem is itself just an instance of thinking, another instance of the creating of a problem or the relating to something as a problem.

    • jrfibonacci Says:

      If one is really clear about the neuro-lingusitic creating of symbolic or figurative problems, then are those problems labeled “inherently problematic?” If problems are not a problem, then they are just like items on a math test: question 6 can be called problem #6. So what?

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