Face it: I’m a comic genius

Hi, I’m a comic genius. If you know me and you are thinking to yourself, well then why have you been hiding it for so long, I can explain. Basically, I admit that I have been hiding it.
Actually, it’s not so much that I am specifically a comic genius. I’m really just a genius in general and there are a lot of people who are geniuses, some of whom do not hide it, but just about the only way that I can communicate with people who are not geniuses so that they get a sense of my genius is through comedy. So, in other words, I say I am a comic genius just to inform you that you have my permission to laugh at anything that I share with you.
Now, let me define genius for you, since you probably do not know exactly what I mean by the word genius. I’m just less naive than most people about certain things. That’s it.
In other words, when some new information is available, I can understand it faster than the average person. I am far above average in intelligence. Other people may understand it eventually, at least partially. That is what it means to be a genius.
Obviously, just because I am genius, that does not mean that I am always right or that there are not some other people who are smarter than me about any particular subject or even in general. I’m only a genius. That is not the same as being the smartest person in the world or something, which would be pretty hard to determine, right?
So, since I am a comic genius, I give you permission to be intelligent and even to be funny, too. That is because I am not worried about you being smarter than me or funnier than me. I know that I am smart and I know that I can be funny, at least when I choose to be.
In other words, because I am a freaking comic genius, why would I worry if you are smarter about something that I am? To a genius, when other people show their competence, the genius just thinks: “Hey, there is another person that may offer me some particular practical value. Great!”
Other people may be intimidated by intelligence, but would a genius be intimidated by intelligence? No, a genius is familiar with intelligence. A genius recognizes and appreciates intelligence. Why is a porn star not intimidated by nakedness? Because they have been naked a lot around strangers and they have been around other naked people a lot.
Before we go any further, I want to clear up something about this. People are just however smart they are. They do not deserve to be more or less smart. They just are more or less smart.
In fact, that brings us to one of the first topics for discussion: the idea of guilt and vanity. I think those are two things to be cautious about.
Vanity, basically, is thinking that you deserve the things you appreciate. You don’t. The whole idea of appreciation is the recognition that you are the recipient of grace, of unearned advantage, of undeserved privileges. Recognizing that grace is intelligent. It’s also called modesty.
Modesty is not saying “I am not smart” when you know you are smart. That is pretense, and usually to try to trick people in to perceiving that you are humble. Modesty is actually being humble about how great your life is, like not being arrogant about deserving it based on the karma from past lives. Modesty is not ignoring how great your life is, which is neglect and stupidity, and then pretending that your life is not privileged when it is.
I already mentioned karma and past-lives. Who really cares? So what if any of that was true?
Let’s assert for a moment that I deserve to have the past that I have. I deserved to be born where and when I was. I deserved to be raised how I was. I deserve my genetic inheritance. I deserve my family of origin and my education and my diet and my personal history. Imagine, just for fun, that I earned it all, although I could have earned even an better past or a less favorable past. I earned exactly the past that I had. I deserved it!
Well, that idea is pure vanity. It’s worthless.
However, since I don’t care about the issue, I will be glad to pretend that I believe it just so you don’t get side-tracked by any of that. Fine: if you think that in some past life you earned exactly what you have now, I don’t care. Whether you believe that you earned it or not, you have exactly the past that you have, right?. If you like believing that you earned it and that helps you to get beyond some distracting issue and move on to facing what you actually have, fine. You have the past you have. You have exactly the privileges you have and resources you have and capacities you have, but not more and not less. Is that clear?
By the way, guilt is also a form of vanity. Guilt is just the absolute most worthless kind of vanity. Guilt is focusing on how you should have earned a better present than you now have. It’s futile. Get over it.
If you want to grieve over the past, that’s understandable. Go ahead. if you don’t appreciate something when you have it, and then, when it’s gone, you finally have a sudden appreciation for it, great. Grief is delayed appreciation. Better late than never, right?
For instance, let’s imagine that my dog dies and then I notice how much I appreciated that dog. That’s good to know. Maybe next time if I get another dog, then I will appreciate the dog more when I actually have it.
Grief is recognizing that you might be able to appreciate life more fully in the future. That is useful.
In contrast, guilt is believing that you should have appreciated life more fully in the past. That is pure vanity. That is totally worthless.
You have the past that you have. You did not deserve any of it. Actually, let me put it this way: whether or not you deserved any of it or all of it or what, that makes no difference whatsoever now. You have exactly what you have, and that’s it.
If you can connect a particular pattern of action with a particular pattern of results, that’s great to know. That’s intelligent.
But you did not deserve any of your past. You did not sign an agreement with angels before you were born. You did not break any of the agreement or keep any of the agreement, because there was no agreement.
However, that metaphor may be useful. If we like the idea that there are certain capacities that are specific to each of us, that makes sense, right? If we like the idea that there is an agreement for us to identify our capacities and to develop those capacities, that’s fine.
You have the capacities that you actually have, right? You have the privileges that you actually have right? You could accept that you are basically stuck with whatever you have right now, like as if you had agreed to it in the past and as if you have some kind of obligation or commitment to use what you actually have.
Fine! I don’t care. You have what you have. Anything that gets you to face what you actually have, I say, is genius.
So, if you like to pretend that you deserve what you now have or to imagine that you agreed to have what you have before you were born, that’s brilliant. Either way, no matter what, you have exactly what you have. Face it.
You are as smart as you are and about certain things in particular. Face it. Maybe you are a genius and maybe you are not. So what? Either way, face it!
If you are modest, fine. If you are arrogant, fine. By the way, arrogant people are incredibly easy to intimidate and they love to defend their most sacred shames. Arrogant people are habitually terrified, but, again, being terrified is fine. Everybody gets terrified at least occasionally, right?
By the way, I don’t care if you were guilty in the past. I don’t care if you deserved to be guilty or if you were victimized by your own karma from past lives or what. You have however much guilt as you have. I may think that it is all quite pretentious and vain to have all that guilt, but you probably don’t care what I think, right?
Even if I did think that you deserved exactly what you have, or more than you have, or less than you have, who cares? I don’t! Why should you?
You have whatever you have. Face it! You deserve whatever you deserve. Face it! You are facing whatever you are facing. Face it!
If you, like me, are a comic genius, too, then just face it! If you are a genius in some other way, I assert that there are geniuses who may be very interested in what particular ways you are a genius. There may be a lot of folks who are not intimated by your genius. They jay really appreciate it.
There may be a lot of folks who deserve you keeping the agreement that you made before you were born and sharing your genius with them. Maybe they deserve your genius. Maybe they earned it with their karma and their past lives and so on.
Or that may be a bunch of complete pretense. I don’t care. Or maybe you are obligated to share your genius but you have been totally stingy. I don’t care about that either. Just face your own genius.
I don’t care when you face it! I don’t even care if you face it! I don’t care if you can face it or you can’t face it or you should face it or you won’t face it.
I don’t care if you are a genius or not. Maybe you are not a genius about anything at all and never will be. Maybe you are totally worthless and have no capacities and no past and no karma and you actually do not even deserve whatever you deserve. Maybe you actually do not have whatever you have, but, either way, I am a comic genius and you may not be yet, but face it maybe you should be a comic genius, huh? Maybe you should have whatever you have and maybe you should not have whatever you have, but who cares, right?
What I know is that I am a comic genius. What does that mean? It means that I have recognized the value of making fun of all the rest of my life. In a lot of other ways, maybe I am not a genius. If you know me, you may even know of some of those ways.
Now, obviously, before I was born, I agreed to not be a genius in all of those other areas of my life so that I would have some really funny stories to use as a comic genius to make fun of my own life. Up to now, with all the comedy material I have collected so far in my life in those other areas, well, I’m thinking that maybe I deserve to be a genius by now in some of those other areas, too. I held up my part of the agreement by not being a genius in those areas for so long, so face it now it is time for the angels to give me what I deserve, alright? Thank you!
I don’t know how those angels got to be angels and what they did to deserve it, but sometimes I feel like they must be all intimidated with me just because I am a comic genius. Or maybe they have just never been around someone naked, but I was just trying to make them feel comfortable, given that most of the angels in art are naked, right? I thought they would be more relaxed if I dressed like them, right? I mean, either they were intimidated by my comic genius or else the angels must have been intimidated by the size of my, um, no, definitely it had to be my comic genius.

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