willing to lead? (or am I the innocent victim of my own complaining?)
Willing to Lead?
Frequently, I witness complaints about leaders. The leader of a company may have done something that someone did not like. The leader of a government may not have done something that someone would have liked. In fact, leaders of governments often may complain about other leaders of governments.
I may have complained about the media, the medical establishment, my church, my coworkers, my parents, or my past. Complaining is a common form of social interaction. “I wish life was more like I wish life would already be, don’t you?”
I’ve even blamed other people for my results- quite a bit. Typically, that would be only after I witness my results and then- distinct from just noticing the results- I wish my actual results were other than my actual results. Before I blamed anyone, I first wished reality wasn’t as it appeared to me to be.
Here’s some particular reality. There’s me reacting to it- like rejecting it, wishing it wasn’t how it may actually be. Finally, there I go complaining and blaming and so on.
“Here’s my latest list of good reasons for blaming life for victimizing me with my results. Let’s compare our lists of excuses, okay? Hey, that one looks really good. Do you mind if I use it, too?”
I’ve noticed that whenever people reject something, we do not accept it just as it is. We may not just say “these are my results as of now and, yes, those are the actions that I took right before having those results.”
Instead, we may say “wow, I wish someone would lead how I wish someone was already leading.” However, we always seem to mean “someone else.” We don’t wish to lead, right? After all, leaders sometimes may get criticized! We criticize leaders, don’t we?
Here’s the foundation of all complaints. This may not be the exact words we use, but this is the implicit summary of many communications: “I wish that my life was already how I wish my life already was. I wish I was more like I wish I already was.”
Notably, after decades of personal research into the effectiveness of complaining, I have found that sometimes complaining has not been precisely as satisfying for me as I had wished that complaining had been. Therefore, I’m going to switch the word “wish” with a few words now. See if you notice any difference.
“I am willing for my life to be how I am willing for my life to be. I am willing to be how I am willing to be.”
Now, that may not seem like much of a difference- or maybe it already does. However, the difference in the next revised statement could be very noticeable. See what difference you notice.
“I am willing to be how I have wished that someone was already leading.” Isn’t that interesting? I am willing to be how I have wished that someone was already leading
Exactly how have I wished that someone was already leading? Haven’t I wished that someone else produce for me the results that I have been willing to have as my results, but may not have been producing myself yet? (Maybe I wasn’t I willing to produce them. I just wanted to have them, but I wasn’t willing to produce them, apparently, because I either did or I didn’t, right?)
One other thing that I have noticed is that some promises are kept and some are not- including promises made by political leaders or on behalf of huge businesses. In fact, even if a political leader makes a promise on behalf of a huge business, that promise still may or may not be fulfilled.
Am I willing to promise myself the results I value? Am I willing to first promise myself those results I value and to then be and do what produces those results? What if that involves learning? What if I do not already know how to be to produce the results I value? Maybe I don’t even know already what results I value? What if the results I value change? (I better get started, huh?)
Consider that the person whose criticism we most fear may be our own. You can imagine the following in the voice of the person whose criticism you may most fear, whomever that may be: “You’ve been wishing that your results were other than what they were, then basically stopping. Sure, you’ve told other people about various details- you’ve certainly complained and blamed and so on- but have you already shifted yet from only wishing to actually willing, from only blaming to actually leading, from only complaining to actually exploring, developing, and reliably producing?”
“Have you been producing the results you value or not? In fact, do you value the results you have been producing or not? If so, how?”
“Are you willing yet to lead? Are you now willing to make promises that you do not already know how to fulfill, then let your promise lead you?”
“Are you willing to give up complaining? Are you willing to give up blaming? Are you even willing to give up wishing that whatever appears to you to be wasn’t?”
How about this “are we willing to notice whatever we currently perceive to be, however it may be, and let that perceiving lead us? Are we willing to let whatever is present inspire promises through us, even if we may not already know everything that we may be learning in the process of fulfilling those promises?”
Are you willing to give up pretending that life has been victimizing you? Are you willing to give up pretending that only other people can lead your life? Whose life? Whichever one you lead!
I could lead a life of wishing and resisting and complaining and blaming. How do I know that I could do that? Because that’s what I’ve been doing for a long time. In fact, I have finally reached so much competence in leading that life that I am ready now to enjoy developing some new competencies.
Like what? Like this: I could also lead a life of being willing and being curious and being productive and being grateful. How do I know that I could do this? Because that is the promise that I recognize that life is calling for me to fulfill now and for the rest of my life. That is the promise that I recognize that life is calling for me to fulfill now and for the rest of my life.
Life is asking me: “are you willing to lead?” Life may have been asking me “hey, what do you think about those other people who have been leading and how they’ve been leading?” However, right this moment life is asking me: “how are you willing to lead now?” So, I may not already know how I am going to answer that question, but I am willing to find out.
I am willing to lead. That means explore, discover,… be curious!
J.R. Fibonacci is a leading provider of relevant economic analysis and forecasting, offering services ranging from reliably profitable private management of investments to huge reductions of balances on credit card debt.
- Taking Charge and Moving Forward (questtofreedom.wordpress.com)
- Wishes (dlmchale.com)
- Compendium Of Leadership Traits (garyware.me)
- 10 Reasons to Stop Complaining (dianneguthmuller.com)
- Wishing Tree (serenelyrapt.wordpress.com)
- Complain? In America? Naaaaa…… (craigmotor.wordpress.com)
- 46 days without complaint (backtoherroots.com)
- From Victim to Victor (sdawson726.wordpress.com)
- Unrealized miracles in your life. (estherscott1257.wordpress.com)
- “Love Letter” to myself #1 (raymondhogue.wordpress.com)