from spoiled to mature
Do you know of the saying that a child is spoiled? That means when a child begins to expect certain privileges as if those privileges were not privileges, but essentials.
A child may say something like “but I need to have that toy” or even “you must let me stay up late tonight. Gramma said so!” The child may appeal to the supposed authority of someone else such as Gramma and say “you should give me another cookie.”
The child’s voice could be whining, raging or even desperate. Whatever the tone, these assertions are all tests- and one tone may work better than another. The child is testing the response of the other people.
Of couse, the child recognizes the functional authority of the other people- which is why the child directs the appeals to those other people. However, the child may also seek the approval, support and collaboration of others, again, such as Gramma. “Gramma, can you tell my mean sister to give me another cookie?”
But notice how the tone of voice spoken to Gramma could be so different from the other tones of voice. This spoiled child is simply developing into the function of giving directions, being comanding, exercising authority and leadership- jut perhaps not very competently at first.
However, these same patterns may arise again beyond childhood. Some say things like, “my spouse should be more like me” or “my teenager should be less like their friends” or “that driver should drive more like I expected them to drive” or “here is how this election should go” or “no, this is not how market prices should be. My realtor said so!”
Citizens may assert that they have a right to certain protections or subsidies from governments. How may people thoughtlessly presume that governments will always provide free childcare through public schools? Citizens may assert a right to free public education. Citizens may assert a right to travel across state borders without showing any documentation, to buy alcoholic beverages, to receive a trial by jury, and so on.
However, these rights are obviously not universal. Yes, public education of some sort has existed for centuries, but schools were not always free. Even driver safety school may be operated directly by governments, but there are still practical questions of what programs would be free, which ones only partly subsidized, and how would the finances for those programs be handled?
Many people interact with governments in a rather infantile way, throwing tantrums and claiming, in effect, that Gramma has authority over governments. What do I mean? Many people claim that the past has authority over the present. Many claim that words from decades or centuries in the past are more relevant today than current developments. Even though the old words were produced through specific developments limited to a time and place, we may worship those words rather than notice current developments. In other words, “governments should be however Gramma told me that they should be!”
In fact, some people assert that all other people should be however “I” learned from some alleged authority that all other people should be, including me. A spoiled child (or a citizen throwing a tantrum) is of course doing exactly what they think they should be doing according to whatever model of behavior they learned from whatever source. That is natural. “By throwing this tantrum, I’m just being loyal to Gramma. Don’t you GET that? Wow, obviously no one understands me!”
However, operating automatically according to some old pattern is distinct from learning. The challenge for a spoiled child is that they internalized a model and then gave more authority to the model itself than to the purpose of the model, which may be summarized in these two words: functional adaptiveness.
Models are constantly being revised. Those who stop learning, perhaps out of their supposed loyalty to Gramma (for instance), may be doing the last thing that Gramma would want them to do: stubbornly adhere to a model that is clearly not functioning well for them.
As for economic trends, anyone who focuses more on how economic trends should be than on how they actually are is actively inviting financial challenge- or even chasing it. Some, when faced with such financial challenge, evidence their resistance to reality (and to prosperity) by complaining. Only by receiving without judgment can one experience prosperity as well as inner peace. Resisting emerging developments because those developments are “disloyal” to one’s sacred models is foolishness. Models that do not apply to current developments are due for revision.
So, one opportunity is to receive spoiled children (of any age) without judgment. The rage, desperation, and even shame of many people… is perhaps not much different than one’s own prior experiences with those same or similar patterns.
- Is Your Child Spoiled? (webmd.com)
- Spare the rod and spoil the child… or not (sabupaul.wordpress.com)
- The Purse (mythoughtsandwhiskeyshots.wordpress.com)
- Santorum Calls For Ending Public Education, Prenatal Testing (huffingtonpost.com)
- In Honor of My Mother: The Bravest Woman I Know (anonlysthoughts.wordpress.com)
- Notebook: if we spare the odd spanking, we really do spoil the child (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)
- Tanka Quintet – “Gramma” (caddoveil.wordpress.com)
- Americans’ Failure to Grow Up (gratiaetnatura.wordpress.com)
- Brown: I’d be ‘spoiled child’ to rant about Cavs (espn.go.com)