Romney: “blame the mexican republicans”

Warning: the following sequence of words may contain parody, sarcasm, and hyperbole.

United States of America

United States of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, without further regard to the incredibly simple distinctions of language known as “spirituality,” let’s consider what is real. Is there a real pattern in language called “the US?” Is there a real pattern in language called “the year 1999″ and another called “2012?”

Did the US change in any way from 1999 to 2012, yes or no? So, if it changed, then maybe “Almighty God caused the change” and maybe not. Maybe “the Republicans are to blame” or maybe “the Mexicans are to blame.”

Those are personal statements of blaming and so on. We can leave them (let them be and move on).

Republican Party (United States)

Republican Party (United States) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, are you afraid of the changes that may happen next within the US? As someone who predicted many of the changes that have happened in recent years, perhaps I have been adjusting to any fear that I may have experienced for much longer than you. Perhaps the fear that I had led first to disappointment in my personal results, then to frustration that methods that I expected to do well were no longer doing so well, then blame for which Mexican Republican was obviously the one most to blame for the personal results I had obtained from my personal methods. I know that some idiots disagreed with me about which one of the Mexican Republicans was most to blame, but of course that is just evidence that those people are clearly idiots for disagreeing with one of the superstitions that I pretend is a truth accepted universally, and I then feel very justified (afraid) when I attack people for not accepting the universal truth which is actually not universal at all- obviously.

Colorized image of US President Theodore Roose...

Colorized image of US President Theodore Roosevelt and family from 1903 postcard. Español: La familia Roosevelt Français : La famille Roosevelt Polski: Theodore Roosevelt z rodziną w 1903 roku (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyway, if anyone suggests that I am afraid, I simply attack them in an outrage of frustration that people might be seeing through my paranoia and anxiety. I am so afraid that I do not want people to know that I am afraid. So, I pretend to have courage and faith. However, I do not even really know what faith is. (I just like to use the word because it scares away most people- very useful!)

Now, which politician is going to resolve this dilemma for me? Which politician will promise to maintain my myths and illusions and superstitions and protect me from recognizing simple realities? Romney? Bush? Kennedy? Roosevelt? Lincoln? Jefferson? Mussolini? Julius Caesar? Moses?

How much do I need to pay in taxes to save the US from the year 2013? I know that the future will be horrible and frightening and evil, (because the media has told me and they are always right and they have no interest in inciting hysteria and panic and making people addicted to tuning in to their next dose of “the truth”) so therefore we must unite to save the holy United States of America from the Mexican Republican Atheist Nihilists, who are trying to destroy this country by contaminating all of the mustard seeds with GMO ideologies about same-sex abortions.

Official portrait of George H. W. Bush, former...

Official portrait of George H. W. Bush, former President of the United States of America. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What this country needs right now is less of a sense of humor. We need to hold our breath and tighten our anal retentiveness and get red in the face until steam comes out of our ears. That is the only right way to make your brain in to tea and that is what the Pope (the King of Kings) has dictated that all subjects of the Holy Roman Empire must do- make their brains in to tea right away. Long live the Tea Party!

Cover of "The King of Kings - Criterion C...

Cover via Amazon

The red "GOP" logo used by the party...

The red “GOP” logo used by the party for its website (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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